Jim Martin
Jim Martin
Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #67
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Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #67

Navigating the Egos . . . You Belong Here . . . Learn to Handle Hard Things Well . . . When You Wonder About Your Significance (Especially for ministers)
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(Upsplash - Glenn Carstens-Peters)

The List of Five

Navigating the Egos

My friend spoke of an upcoming business trip. In the conversation, he talked about having to “navigate the egos” on this particular trip.

Perhaps you can relate to this. You may know that whenever you deal with particular people or group, you will have to “navigate the egos.”

Consider the following situations in which the ego of another may get in the way:

  1. One person’s ego may be associated with her visibility in the community due to her job. She loves to be recognized and treated as special.

  2. Another person’s ego may be associated with financial affluence. This person may find a way, in most any conversation, to bring up his latest extravagant purchase.

  3. Still another person’s ego may be associated with his social network. He may regularly communicate to you how busy he is and the important people with whom he is interacting. “See how important I am!” seems to be the constant message.

Years ago, my father-in-law was hosting a fund raising dinner at the school where he served as president. A few days after the dinner, he received an angry note from a dinner guest. The person was angry because he and his wife had not been seated at the head table.

Hear the following by T.S. Eliot in “The Cocktail Party” (1949):

Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don’t mean to do harm - but the harm does not interest them. Or they do not see it, or they justify it because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves.

I want to make sure that my own ego is not a part of the problem. I want to make sure that my ego is in check. I don’t want to think too much of myself, nor do I want to think too little of myself. Far too many of us use the word “just” as we speak of our vocation. “I’m just a school teacher” or “I’m just a preacher.”

My worth is found from having been created in the image of God. It is not found in a job title, a corporate role, or my affluence (or lack of it).

The following may help put our own ego challenges in perspective:

  1. The self-declared importance or perceived importance of another person does not have any bearing on our own significance. At times, those with the inflated egos can leave others reeling in the dust with a sense of inadequacy. Yet, our worth is not determined by comparing ourselves with another.

  2. Jesus said that the greatest in the kingdom is not someone who appears to be important in this world. Rather, the greatest is the person who is a servant (Mark 10:45). This is not the way to greatness, serving in the kingdom is greatness.

  3. “In the kingdom of God, service is not a stepping stone to nobility, it is nobility, the only kind of nobility that is recognized.” ( T.W. Manson, The Church’s Ministry, 1948)

You and I have far more to gain in Christ than in having others treat us as if we are special or important. Our worth and value comes from him!


You Belong Here

My friend, Tim, communicated an important truth to his Bible class at the university. He wanted to encourage his students. He told them that even though they might have a bad day or do poorly on a test, this is where they belong. “You belong here,” he emphasized.

Sometimes you may wonder where you actually belong. I remember walking with Charlotte one evening in the little downtown area of McGregor, Texas. We came to a large furniture store that had been there for many years. Unfortunately, that evening, it was already closed for the day. We both stood there on the sidewalk, looking through the plate glass window at the furniture inside.

Perhaps you’ve been to a church where you felt as if you were on the outside looking in. You just couldn’t break through. You could see that many people seemed to have close friendships and enjoyed being with one another. However, you found it hard to break through. You may have felt as if you were on the outside of a large plate glass window, looking in.

I don’t know how long you have been reading these “Encouragement Notes” but may I suggest that you really do belong here. You may be doing very well. Or, you may be discouraged and disheartened. Yet, I’m glad you are here and want you to know that you really do belong.

Encouragement is not just for those who are struggling or feel weak in some way. Rather, another’s encouragement can have a way of building us up and giving us support and confidence for the day (I Thessalonians 5:11). It can help build us up as we attempt to live out Christ’s desire for our lives. Most of all, Christ-centered encouragement is an attempt to treat another person with value, as one created in God’s image.

Who might especially be blessed by your encouragement today?


Learn to Handle Hard Things Well

Sometimes life is hard.

Does this describe your life today? If it does, let me encourage you to hang on. You are not alone.

1. Maybe you don’t know what to do with that particular child. You love her/him. However, sometimes you feel like you are losing your mind! At times, you get very discouraged. You may even wonder if you are not a failure as a parent. It doesn’t seem like your friends are having these problems.

2. Maybe you don’t know what to do with your marriage. You love your husband/wife. Yet, sometimes life together can be so hard. You look at the pictures on Facebook or Instagram and it seems like everyone is having a great life but you.

3. Maybe you don’t know what to do with your life. You want a life of joy. You love the Lord and attempt to make choices that please him. However, in this season of life, you are struggling.

Do you relate to any of the situations above? To struggle does not mean that you are inadequate Christian, a bad person, or a person who is failing.

Know this:

1. You are not alone. All of those smiling pictures on Facebook and Instagram were taken at a single point in time. The pictures do not show what the rest of their life is like. You are not seeing them when they disagree, are angry, or are not getting along. The pictures probably do not show you what they look like when they are discouraged. Yet, many of these people will tell you that they too struggle at times just like you.

2. God is with you. He will never leave you or forsake you (Heb. 13:5-6). He will stand by your side and give you strength (2 Tim. 4:17). His presence enables us to navigate life.

Sometimes life is hard. Yet, we can passively wait on life to get easier. Or, we can learn to do hard things well. We do this not on our own but by the grace of God and in the power of the Spirit.

Again, you and I are not alone. God is faithful and will be with you and me — through it all.


When You Wonder About Your Significance (Especially for ministers and other church leaders)

If you are a minister, you may know what it is to feel insignificant. You may wonder if your work really matters. You may compare yourself to other ministers and come away feeling inadequate.

Some people believe that ministers have great value if one or more of the following factors are true:

1.  If other churches or christian colleges are asking this minister to speak at their congregations or at particular lectureships, seminars, etc.

2.  If well known congregations are asking this minister to consider joining their ministry staff.

3.  If this minister has a much larger salary compared to other ministers who serve in the same role.

4.  If this minister has a large social media platform that seems to attract the attention of many.

5.  If this minister is well known throughout the region or the nation and seems to have a “following.”  

6.  If this minister, who has served a smaller congregation begins preaching for a larger congregation that is highly visible.  Suddenly this minister may be perceived to be “important.”

What about a minister who serves and none of the above is true?

How do ministers respond when they believe they have little value compared to other ministers?

  1. Some ministers become critics.  They may regularly critique and find fault with other ministers. They may spend much energy dismissing whatever might be associated with more visible ministers. For some, this may be like the person who didn’t get invited to the party and dealt with it by saying “I didn’t want to go to the party anyway.”  

  2. Still other ministers become self-critics. They conclude there must be something wrong with themselves. They reflect on themselves and see failure and inadequacies. They may even lose their self confidence.

  3. What if a minister chose a different path? What if a minister chose to pursue wisdom? This is a slow but solid way to approach ministry. This challenges us to grow from within instead of being preoccupied with perceived visible signs of success found in another.

Ultimately, one’s validation as a Christian minister comes from the Father.  It is his “well done” that matters.  It is his “well done” that validates us as human beings and Christian ministers. This validation can help us feel comfortable in our own skin.  

Far too many ministers approach ministry like tourists on the tour bus who are quickly getting off the bus, taking pictures with their phone and getting back on the bus on the way to the next destination.

Ministers are to be pilgrims who are here to experience life fully and deeply, growing in wisdom along the way. Others will see your life, hear your teachings, and learn how to live. (See Jay Kim, Analog Christian, p. 71)

Your importance and value before God is not determined by the standards we so often use to measure one another.  

Rather, God values each one of us and by his grace, we will receive a well done.

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Etcetera (Includes Reading and Listening Resources)

  1. I recently went to that Harding University Bible Lectureship. Saw lots of friends, ministers, and others who have added so much value to my life. I was so encouraged by the ministers around the nation who continue to serve — even in hard times.

  2. I enjoy listening to theologian Russell Moore. See his “First Word” seminar, a weekly podcast.

  3. See David Brooks, “The Crisis of Men and Boys” in The New York Times, September 29, 2022.

  4. I would love to hear from you if something in this Encouragement Note was particularly helpful. jmartin9669@gmail.com


Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

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