(unsplash - Dan DeAlmeida)
The List of Five
Tremble With Gratitude
There are precious moments when a family is together and they remember the stories that are important to them. Often these stories may be about family members who have died and yet the stories still live.
Wendall Berry wrote in his book, Leavings:
I tremble with gratitude
for my children and their children
who take pleasure in one another.
At our dinners together, the dead
enter and pass among us
in living love and in memory.
And so the young are taught.
Berry speaks of family dinners when those who have passed on are remembered. The stories may be funny or even inspiring. These stories may speak of a quality of a family member that we treasure.
Recently I’ve told stories about the following people:
My dad Jim Martin (Lived in Dallas and passed away in December 2013)
My grandmother, Iris Martin (Formerly taught at Harding Academy in Searcy, Ark.)
Charlotte’s dad, Charles Coil (Longtime minister who lived in Florence, Ala.)
My friend and mentor, Lynn Anderson (Founder of HopeNetwork Ministries)
My friend Bill Petty (Longtime professor of finance at Baylor University)
Of the people whom I have just mentioned, only Bill Petty is still living. I am encouraged by telling stories about those who have invested in my life. As I tell these stories, my children and grandchildren hear what I really value.
Recently, our grandson Brody (age 12 and in the 6th grade) was baptized. This was a very special moment for him! It was also a special moment for me as well. This occurred on a Wednesday evening with several families present who have meant so much to him, his brother Lincoln, and his mother, Christine. In particular, I appreciated several men who have modeled, for Brody and Lincoln, what it means to be a godly man.
Consider a few people who have been significant in your own life. What is a story or encouraging moment that comes to mind as you think about those who have invested in you? What is a significant moment as you think about this person? Was it an encouraging or inspiring word or gesture?
Remembering and even telling some of these stories may even cause you to “tremble with gratitude.”
My Soul At Night
What do you think about during the evening or at night?
You may be in conversation with your children or your spouse. Perhaps you help your child with a project. Perhaps you watch television or read a book, and finally go to sleep. On other evenings, you may have a social engagement, a church meeting, or a school function.
Yet perhaps during the night you awaken and think. You worry about the challenges ahead. As your mind races ahead to the dreaded meeting, the upcoming doctor’s appointment, or the implications of your daughter’s decision, you ask “What if?” At night, fear can be so stark, vivid, and terrorizing.
At night:
I can get lost in my memories of relationships in the past. Perhaps I focus on the people I deeply miss due to death, divorce, or simply time passing.
I can get lost in my wounds, sins, and betrayals in the past. I can rehearse over and over my mistakes, my blunders and my failures. Or, I may relive again the hurtful words or action someone took toward my loved one.
I can get lost as I imagine the future. I can think of nights when I sat in the empty theater of my mind imagining what awful things might happen in the future. The future can look uncertain at best and terrifying at its worst.
Yet, there is another way to navigate the night. Consider Psalm 63: 6-8:
On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
I cling to you;
your right hand upholds me.
I have found that I can think of God in the night. Some nights I have turned to this very Psalm and have focused my mind on God and his promises. He really is my help - and yours.
I don’t have to allow my fear, anxiety, and worry to take over and escalate my emotions. Instead, I can cling to God, remembering that my life is not about being sufficiently strong but in trusting his promises.
What is helpful to me in the night:
I sometimes read the Psalms looking for words, phrases, etc. that describe the character and might of God.
Recently I read passages that spoke about God doing the impossible.
Sometimes, I will write in my journal. I focus on something good for which I am grateful.
I can pray at night. Sometimes, I may not feel like praying but I have found that my prayers matter and remind me that I am dependent on him not myself.
Going Through the Motions
Do you ever just go through the motions? If you are like many of us, you may experience this at times. Your heart or mind doesn’t seem to be connected with your action. You perform the action but it may seem empty of any real meaning or purpose. Of course, I don’t want to spend my life just going through the motions.
Yet, it is possible that “going through the motions” can be a way to jump start a habit, practice, or even creativity.
Recently Austin Kleon wrote the following:
“Going through the motions” is often thought of as a bad thing, but it is the artist’s great secret for getting started.
As I wrote in Steal Like an Artist:
If we just start going through the motions, if we strum a guitar, or shuffle sticky notes around a conference table, or start kneading clay, the motion kickstarts our brain into thinking.
Get your pen moving, and something will come out. (It might be trash, but it will be something.)
Again, “going through the motions” may be a way jump start a habit, a practice, or even our creativity.
For example, you may not be motivated to read your Bible. Yet, what if you were to begin by first “going through the motions”? That is, what if the night before, you placed your Bible at the very spot where you normally drink your first cup of coffee. Perhaps you even place a bookmark at the passage you intend to read in the morning. You might plan to read a short/brief passage. These are beginning points. These are small steps that you are using to begin to make some progress. In the morning, begin to read your Bible, even if you don’t feel inspired or motivated to do so.
Sometimes we may wait too long for inspiration or motivation. When you begin your practice, your heart may not be in it. However, at least you have begun. You have made a start.
As a minister for a congregation, I went through a season when I did not feel motivated to visit church members who happened to be in the hospital. At times, I would put it off while waiting for the motivation. What helped was to at least write the task on my calendar. I would make the notation that I planned to visit a certain hospital at a particular time. This at least helped me get started. Of course, later on, I was typically delighted that I had visited that person.
What about you? What has helped you do the next right thing when you did not feel particularly motivated or inspired?
What Helps Us Continue (Especially for Ministers and Other Church Leaders - Part 2 of 2)
Not long ago, in preparation for a presentation at the annual HopeNetwork retreat, I talked with a number of ministers from across the country. I asked them what practices or habits have contributed to their decision to continue serving. In Encouragement Note #75, I mentioned several of these. The following are additional practices/habits these ministers mentioned.
Marriage/family
One person spoke of his wife as a “chief encourager” during this time. Another said, “My marriage has been my saving grace.”
One minister acknowledged the value of having a spouse who is experiencing some level of contentment in the congregation.
Another minister spoke of the encouragement given by his mom, dad, and children.
God/Jesus
One minister said, “I kept coming back to Jesus.”
Several spoke of going back to their calling and sense of vocation. “I just have this sense that this is what I am supposed to do.”
Another minister focused on the suffering of Jesus and now wants to be faithful in his ministry during a time in which he has suffered.
Still another minister did a lot of reading about Israel in exile and desired to be faithful at a time in which he too felt like an exile.
Finally, a minister said, “It helps to have a wholesome humility that relates to my ministry. This is God’s work (not my own). I want to be faithful to these people as God is faithful.”
Focusing on What Gives Joy
One minister began to focus and spend time doing the things in ministry that seemed to give great joy. For example, this minister realized that he actually found great joy in the process of preparing the Sunday morning message.
One minister said that even though this had been a difficult time, “I still like what I do.”
Late night readings - “Most of my anxiety and negative thinking comes at night. There are certain books I keep by my bed to read when I begin to head in that direction. These readings remind me that I am not alone and there is help.” Another person spoke of subscribing to Audible books and listening to books completely unrelated to ministry.
Sabbath - “I made sure I took a sabbath rest each week. I don’t go to the office that day and I don’t mess with sermons. I finally took a sabbatical after being at this church for a number of years. This was so helpful, that I now look for ways to create “min-sabbaticals” during times like the Christmas holidays.”
Therapists, mentors, coaches, spiritual directors, etc. - I was impressed at the number of ministers who told me they had seen a therapist. Still others mentioned working with coaches, spiritual directors, and mentors.
Physical activity - Working out, walking, running etc. One minister said, “My wife and I walk every day.” One minister said that due to physical limitations he could no longer do the workouts he did at one time. However, he does some exercises given to him by a physical therapist.
Keep going file
“For a long time, I have kept a keep going file. Every encouraging note, comment, letter that I receive goes in this file.”
“I will write in my journal a happy thing that I enjoyed that particular week.”
Choosing to love the congregation One minister said that the preachers he knows who have stayed really love their churches. He went on to say, “These preachers feel like they are supported and have a voice in the leadership.”
Reading history and biographies - One minister spoke of investing a lot of time in readying history and biographies. This person said, “I began to realize that ministry has always been hard for a lot of people.”
Etcetera (Listening and Reading
I have already mentioned this book but I am really enjoying Collin Hansen’s fine book, Timothy Keller: His Spiritual and Intellectual Formation. So interesting!
Now this is interesting. Reasons why many parents across America are waiting until their children are at least in the eight grade before letting them have a smartphone. See Wait Until Eight.
Poet Malcolm Guite in Church Times reflects upon his visit to America.
Now this was interesting. “How 9 of the World's Most Innovative Schools Ignite Children's Love for Learning” (Medium, Dec. 17, 2022).
I think I’ve mentioned this before but I really enjoy the journal Common Good. Most of the journals I read are online. However, I do subscribe to the print version of this. The theme of most recent issue is “Marriage, Children, Church, The Future.”
I love this story!
Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.
I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin
Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #76