If there is an image that describes many of our lives, it might that of a very tired man or woman on a treadmill. What began as a challenging speed has now become completely overwhelming. For many of us, the treadmill of our daily schedules seems to go faster and faster. Life becomes a blur punctuated by birth and death with a flurry of exhausting activity in between. If you are like many, you are doing well just to keep from falling. How do we navigate life better with more energy and stamina?
The List of Five
What is Your Ideal Week?
(Christine Roy - Upsplash)
The words were simple. The sentence was short. But did it ever make me think! Rich Litvin wrote in his May 15, 2021 e-mail about the importance of asking a very important question as one begins a new week.
How can I create a week that makes me feel alive?
The question is helpful because it can be tempting (for me at least) to passively wait to see what the new week will bring, instead of taking intentional action.
This particular question invites us to become deliberative about the kind of week we would like to experience. Of course, ultimately, you cannot control your week. Sometimes opportunities to serve come unexpectedly. Sometimes problems seem to appear without any advance warning.
However, you and I can be intentional as we schedule our time and attention. The following have been very helpful practices for me:
I can schedule what makes my soul feel alive. Do I have a routine each day for caring for my soul? For me, this is a morning routine that takes place prior to checking e-mail, social media, etc. This is a time when I read Scripture, pray, and engage with other spiritual disciplines.
I can schedule what might make my mind feel alive. I want to read something that I enjoy, that brings me pleasure or interests me.
I can schedule what might give me energy. I can be intentional about exercise, a walk, working out, etc.
I can schedule time with those who give me energy and help me feel alive. I want to schedule time to be with people who encourage and bless me. In the meantime, I want to limit the amount of time I spend with people who regularly gripe, complain, and drain the life out of me.
When You Need to Remove a Wall
Mark Sayers, in Rebuilders: Essential Leadership Postures 2021, speaks of reading Julian Jackson’s biography of Charles de Gaulle entitled De Gaulle. At one point, he appeared before a cheering crowd. Charles de Gaulle later did some self-reflection on that moment:
I realized then that General de Gaulle had become a living legend, that they had formed a certain image of him. There was a person named de Gaulle who existed in other people's minds and was really a separate personality from myself. From that day on I would have to reckon with this man, this General de Gaulle. As General de Gaulle, I became almost his prisoner.
Some of us may be tempted to spend a great deal of time and attention toward creating a particular image. Yet, inwardly we know, there is a huge gap between this image and reality. As a result, we might project a protective relational wall between ourselves and others. (This is a real temptation for many ministers.) We want to control what others see and how they might perceive us.
The cost of this wall, however, is great. There is no real transparency. After all, you are trying to control what another sees. This also prevents us from being fully present with another, because we are guarded with what another might see.
Years ago, an older minister, whom I respected a great deal, told me that I seemed to have such a wall up in my life. (Of course I immediately felt defensive, misunderstood, etc.) The truth? He was right.
I certainly did not change overnight. However, I realized this wall could prevent me from ever becoming the kind of transparent man, husband, father, and minister that I wanted to be. It has been helpful is to continually keep the following question before me:
Where am I finding my identity?
If my identity is found in a life that is self-constructed, I will miss one of the great blessings that could be mine - an identity found in Jesus Christ.
How to Avoid Irrelevance
Brene Brown, in a conversation with Patrice Gordon (Daring to Lead podcast, May 10, 2021), spoke about one of the biggest “shame triggers” that a person can experience at work — the fear of irrelevance. This fear typically brings up one’s defenses which prevents learning and being curious. As a result, it prevents change and growth in leadership. Ultimately, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The fear of irrelevance.
You may have seen or experienced this when you or someone was passed over for a promotion.
You may have seen or experienced this when the company hired someone much younger than you and seemed to forget your knowledge and experience.
You may have seen or experienced this when a congregation decided to accept the ideas of a less experienced, less seasoned minister instead of what a more experienced person recommended.
Of course, non of us wants to feel as if we don’t measure up. Yet, if we are not careful, we can become defensive and overly focus on how others perceive us.
The tool that has been so helpful to me can best be expressed like this:
I have learned and continue to learn.
Yes, I have learned a lot. I have studied and read. As a part of my learning, I have gained experience. Sure, I have earned several academic degrees and I am grateful for what I learned as a result of this study.
Yet, I cannot assume that I have sufficient knowledge to carry me through. Nor can I assume that my resume and experience are sufficient for the future.
Yes, I have learned but must keep learning. Both are necessary.
You and I have learned. Of course you have knowledge. In fact, you may be highly knowledgable. No doubt you have learned much from years of experience. No need to deny this. Whether others recognize or appreciate this, you have something to offer because of what you have learned.
You and I need to continue learning. Continuing to learn can energize, stimulate creativity and enable you to lead. A commitment to learn can keep us fresh and also humble. It will also keep us from becoming irrelevant.
Ministry Thoughts
I never intended to become a minister. I went to a state university and earned a degree in business. During college, I began working for United Parcel Service and eventually even drove a UPS truck in downtown Dallas.
After making some significant changes in my life, I returned to school and considered serving a church in some way. (I am leaving out much detail but God was definitely at work during these years.) I began preaching for a little storefront church in middle Tennessee. I learned some stark, profound lessons about life as I interacted with people such as:
Joe, who had suffered brain damage from a bicycle fall when he was a child. He sometimes interrupted my sermons with abrupt questions and comments. With Joe, I learned something about the importance of having patience and mercy.
Susie, whose husband, a former deputy sheriff, had committed suicide. I recall listening to her as she told this story. She was, in those days, the single mother of two small children.
Jane, a young woman in her late 20s who was diagnosed with cancer and subsequently died. It was during her fierce battle with cancer that she became a Christian.
Some years later I began working with a congregation in North Alabama. Many of us, in this young congregation, discovered the wonderful grace of God together. Time and time again I would see a sparkle in the eyes of men and women who had discovered that the gospel really was good news. These included:
John, who went to a Christian school and turned to alcohol for much of his life, causing severe damage to his family.
Katherine, who sat outside our auditorium one Sunday evening, depressed and despondent. She was an alcoholic who looked many years older than she was. That evening, she had been drinking and felt tremendous shame. She said she wasn’t worthy to come into the assembly. She sat in a folding chair, weeping, with her hands clutching her purse, which I later learned contained a handgun.
Harry, who never missed a church service nor did he miss his nightly smoke of marijuana.
I served these people as a minister and friend. By then, I had graduated from seminary, but I also learned much from these people. These people gave me an education that went far beyond the classroom, as valuable as that was.
You and I can gain such an education by simply paying attention to people. However, this calls for humility and a willingness to learn.
Resources
Michael Quoist, a French priest in Paris, wrote a fine book entitled, Prayers, (1963) which has blessed me. See if you related to the following entitle “The Telephone:”
I have just hung up; why did he telephone? I don’t know . . . Oh! I get it . . .
I talked a lot and listened very little.
Forgive me, Lord; it was a monologue and not a dialogue. I explained my idea and did not get his;
Since I didn’t listen, I learned nothing, Since I didn’t listen, I didn’t help, Since I didn’t listen, we didn’t commune.
Forgive me, Lord, for we were connected, and now we are cut off.
Peter Scazzero wrote a very helpful book entitled Daily Office: Remembering God’s Presence Throughout the Day (2008). I love the words of this particular prayer (p. 21):
Jesus, I am so grateful that you understand what it is like to feel pressure from the expectations of others. It can feel crushing at times. Lord, help me to love others well, while at the same time, remain faithful to you. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.
I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin
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