In a few seconds, you will decide whether or not to read any further. I understand. I make a similar decision each time I open a newsletter.
Before publishing this Encouragement Note, I read through it one last time and asked, “Will those who read this really find it helpful and encouraging?”
Each issue offers “The List of Five.”
The List of Five
Add Value to Your Day by Getting Clear About Your Purpose
(Take away: Being intentional about your purpose and the practical implications for your life, marriage, parenting, work/career, etc. can provide great clarity for taking the next right step)
It was 3:00 AM, I was 19 years old, and working all night in a fast-food hamburger place (Jack-in-the-Box). I was alone. There were no customers and typically the early morning hours were pretty quiet. This particular morning, I was not only alone but felt lonely. I was a freshman in college. I felt very disconnected and lacking any real direction in my life. My emptiness was not only due to uncertainties about the future, career, direction in life, etc. but the “why” or purpose of my life. I was missing a clear “why.”
Recently, my friend Clark Morris of William Jewel College (Liberty, Missouri) shared with me the following thoughts:
In February we hosted our annual event where we award our top Achievement award to deserving alumni. One of those achievers, Dr. Rev. Vernon Percy Howard who is a civil rights champion encouraged our students to “KNOW YOUR WHY”. I’ve thought this is a good time as our operational and financial challenges abound to reflect on WHY we believe in what we do and how we can offer hope and optimism to our colleagues, students, funders, and other community members. For them to understand that we know our why, our purpose, our reason gives them a chance to share in our optimism and hope for the future, even when that future is different than we had once imagined. (Clark Morris - Vice President for Advancement - William Jewel College)
Maybe one of the most valuable things we could do right now is to review our “why.”
What is my purpose for being alive?
What is the “why” behind my marriage?
What is the purpose for which I am rearing my children?
What is the mission and purpose of my business/work/profession?
What is the reason for the existence of our congregation? What does a “win” look like?
As I review my “why” or purpose, I then consider the practical implications for this purpose in each dimension of my life. I have learned that when I feel stuck, bored, dull, or floundering in any one of these areas, getting clear about my “why” often brings great clarity for taking the next right step.
The power of such reflection is in linking these purposes with what you are actually doing each day. What are you doing that links to your “why”?
Get Clear About Your Keystone Habits
(Take away: Certain bedrock or keystone habits can be very significant to your own growth and formation)
Do you have a place where you regularly meet God? Do you have a place that is special or even sacred to you?
For some it might be sitting on the porch of a cabin in the mountains of Colorado. For others, it might be walking along the beach early in the morning, long before others have awakened.
For me, it is at a table where Charlotte and I have eaten most of our meals for the last 37 years. This table has been with us in Florence, Ala.; Kansas City, Mo.; and Waco, Tex. This table is now in our kitchen in Memphis, Tn.
I remember, decades ago, when both of our girls were sitting in their high chairs at this table. I remember eating meals with family and friends at this table. I remember both laughter and long conversations at this table.
For 37 years, this table has also been the place where I start my day very early in the morning. It was the table where I read my Bible, prayed, and wrote in my journal. It was the table where I spoke to God of my joys and where I cried out to God on behalf of our children and those in our congregation.
Now, it is still the table where I regularly meet God. It is the table where I drink coffee and read my Bible. It is the table where I write in my journal. It is the table where I often pray - for our children, grandchildren, and others.
In many respects, this is a place where I practice some of my “keystone” habits.
I enjoyed Charles Duhigg’s book, The Power of Habit, and I listen to his podcast “How To!” regularly. In his book, he uses the term “keystone habit” which I find very helpful.
“Small wins are exactly what they sound like, and are part of how keystone habits create widespread changes. A huge body of research has shown that small wins have enormous power, an influence disproportionate to the accomplishments of the victories themselves.” (Charles Duhigg, The Power of Habit)
What are your keystone habits? What daily habits are nurturing for you? Some of my morning keystone habits include the following:
Reading my Bible (four chapters - two in the OT, one Psalm, and one NT chapter)
Praying
Reading something that feeds my soul.
Journaling. Some entries are long and some very brief.
Reflecting on the three big “rocks” that I plan to work on this day. (Many of us have “to do” lists filled with many items. However, I want to focus my time on two to three big rocks that could make a big difference. I have found Gary Keller, The ONE Thing very helpful.)
Not every single morning looks like this. However, there are components of these in what I do every morning.
It doesn’t matter if your habits do not look like mine. However, I do believe it is helpful to at least identify the habits that breath life into your mind and soul. What are these for you?
The Power of Being Intentional With Encouragement
(Take away: you and I can make a lasting, positive mark in someone’s life through intentional encouragement. See what this might look like)
I was a student at the University of North Texas earning a degree in business. I was home and decided to visit a congregation nearby. That Sunday morning I met James Long, who would significantly encourage me at such an impressionable time in my life. James, (see the picture below - far right) was the owner of a retail business in the Dallas area. The first time I met him, he introduced himself and gripped my hand with his firm handshake. This man, with his large black glasses and ever-present cowboy boots, deeply loved the Lord. He also cared deeply about people who did not know Jesus.
James consistently and specifically affirmed the good in me. He payed attention to my behavior and actions. A year or so later, I was asked to speak to the congregation for about ten minutes. After the service was over and most everyone had left, we sat together on the front row in that empty auditorium. He put his arm around me and told me that I had done some things well and that in time, I would improve even more. He spoke words of blessing and affirmation. His encouragement was a tender moment that I will always remember.
Perhaps there has been no better encourager than Barnabas, whose encouragement was significant in the early church.
Remember some of the ways he encouraged others?
He encouraged others by expressing his Lordship-faith through sacrificial giving (Acts 4:32-37). He is later described as a “good man and full of the Holy Spirit.” He has spent a year with the Antioch church. He gave his money, his time, and his credibility. He later returned to Antioch (Acts 14:22) “…strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith.”
He encouraged others by taking risks (Acts 9:27-31). Risked his credibility and his reputation. Barnabas stood up for Paul.
He encouraged others by paying attention to the presence and work of God in the people around him (Acts 11:19-24). Consider what was said about Barnabas, “When he arrived and saw the evidence of the grace of God, he was glad and encouraged them all to remain true to the Lord with all their hearts.”
He encouraged others by his commitment to a person who needed a second chance (Acts 15:35-40). He encouraged John Mark who had disappointed them by abandoning them during the a ministry trip. Barnabas wanted to give him another chance, though Paul believed this is a mistake. Later, Paul apparently gained confidence in him again and requested Mark’s presence while he was in prison saying, “He is helpful to me in my ministry” (2 Timothy 4:11).
So what does it look like to encourage? The following is a place to begin:
Encouragement is not a “one size fits all.” We encourage another when we pay attention to what might build up that particular person, whatever that might be.
Encouragement is more powerful when it is specific. We encourage when we point out and affirm something specifically good in another person or done well by that person.
Encouragement for another may be found in one’s actions which for some may be more significant than words. We can encourage through both actions and words.
But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet. For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. (I Thessalonians 5:8-11)
Be Calm and Yet You Will Feel the Emotions
(Take away: We can choose to be a calm presence where we are. However, that doesn’t reflect the absence of feeling but the decision to self-regulate what we feel)
Calmness matters. Being a non-anxious presence (or at least a less anxious presence) certainly helps. Being a calm presence can be enormous in such an anxious time like this. Calmness allows all of us to think better and to respond to challenges instead of simply reacting. Yet, calmness does not mean that you do not feel various emotions.
Dr. Marc Brackett of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence has on his website a very useful tool called “RULER.” RULER is an acronym for the five skills of emotional intelligence:
Recognizing emotions in oneself and others
Understanding the causes and consequences of emotions
Labeling emotions with a nuanced vocabulary
Expressing emotions in accordance with cultural norms and social context
Regulating emotions with helpful strategies
Being a calm presence does not mean that you do not feel emotions such as anxiety, worry, frustration, anger, etc. It does mean that you attempt to regulate these emotions.
I can pay attention to my own emotions, even as I seek to be a calmer presence among others. Such a presence will help us think better (instead of reacting) and bring clarity into difficult situations. In contrast, spewing my anxiety all over others has a way of ratcheting up the anxiety in those around me. You and I still feel fear, discouragement, anxiety, etc. However we self-regulate these feelings. That is, we attempt to manage our emotions that can be disruptive and impulsive. Through this self-awareness and by the power of the Spirit, we choose to be a calmer presence among others.
The following video features Dr. Carl Williamson who was formerly a church planter in New Jersey and now teaching Bible (discipleship and church planting) at Harding University. In this video, Carl (a Harding School of Theology graduate) reflects on his ministry during Hurricane Sandy (2012). Notice at 24:26 as he discusses his own emotions, as he and others dealt with Hurricane Sandy relief work. This is a wonderful example of someone who attempted to be a helpful presence and yet paid close attention to his own emotions.
In the Meantime, Some Good News
(Take away: Below are comments by a few ministers who are highlighting some of the good that has taken place in the life of their church during this season of COVID-19)
Jeff Cary - (Idalou, Tx. - just outside of Lubbock) I have built questions into each sermon that ask the kids/teens to provide feedback in the chat comments of Facebook live. Others interact with me during the sermon, but these times of our kids and teens having a voice have been special.
We now have a routine that when people log into our Facebook Live broadcast, they add in the chat box things they are thankful for as they are greeting everyone. It has been a great way to sustain our sense of togetherness rooted in a common faith.
Bob Chisholm - (Dallas, Tx.) Prior to the Corona health crisis there already was a group of people in our church, and in all churches, who were sheltered in place. We sometimes refer to them as homebound or shut-in. Since most of our Sunday morning Bible classes, as well as 33 of our Small Groups, and the Tuesday Ladies Class are now being Zoomed, these elderly brothers and sisters have been tuning in. One of our elders pointed out how sad it would be to take this connection away from them by ending this technological link when we are past Covid-19 and our “need” to stream. So, there is now conversation about how to install cameras in strategic places, giving this special part of our spiritual family a way to continue their connection.
Adam Noles - (Poplar Bluff, Mo.) One of our young families, who I know has a lot on their plates right now (2 jobs + 11-year old twins + schooling from home + caring for elderly parents), took some roses to a older couple in our church who cannot get out.
The wife/mother of a new family at church has been considering baptism. I believe the situation with the virus led to her reaching out to discuss it.
Kevin Owen - (Lebanon, Tn.) On Easter Sunday weekend our Children’s ministry team put together bags filled with Easter eggs and other goodies for the kids. Our young families drove through and were handed bags by our “Easter bunny” and volunteers wearing gloves. As they slowly drove through our ministers were spaced out and we applauded and said kind words to them. It was a kind of reverse parade. I was not prepared for the emotional response both from ministers and young families as we saw people for the first time in weeks. Many of the families drove out into the parking lot, rolled down windows being careful to keep proper distances and talked. Their kids were waving to one another speaking kind encouraging words. It was clear we love one another and miss each other very much. While so much has changed our love for one another has only grown stronger.
Our congregation like most is working hard to make sure we are calling our members every week. Our 12 elders are calling, texting and emailing. Our Life group leaders, Bible class teachers and ministry leaders are calling their various constituency’s. What’s really neat is now the people in the pews are starting to call us. I got a call from a man in his mid-eighties whose wife is struggling with dementia. He called me, the preacher, just to ask how are you doing? Can I help you? I believe God is doing a good work in this good mans heart.
Allan Stanglin (Amarillo, Tx.) I'm doing two of these 15-20 minute podcasts per week. On Tuesdays I bring in another minister or someone from our church family with some expertise in a certain area. I had a long-time homeschool mom give everybody tips on helping their kids with online school. I brought in a professional therapist to talk about dealing with social distancing as someone who lives alone and as families. I brought in a doctor to dispel fears and dispense helpful suggestions. On Thursdays we do "A Passage and Prayer" in which one of our elders shares a passage of Scripture that is especially meaningful to him right now and a prayer for the congregation.
Smith Hopkins (Memphis, Tn.) One of our members has facilitated an online talent show on her Facebook feed. Friends, church members, and (lots of) children have submitted videos of themselves sharing unique gifts in ordinary settings. There have been dance numbers, cooking, songs, piano, and parodies, and more. With each entry, she overwhelms with encouragement. For her, everyone is a winner (but especially the kids).
Resources
You might enjoy this video recording of this recent webinar with Dr. Ron Heifetz of the Harvard Kennedy School. This webinar is in the McKinsey leadership series: “Leadership in a Crisis” with Dr Ron Heifetz. (Heifetz is an excellent and helpful resource).
Don’t miss this article from Praxis. “Leading Beyond the Blizzard: Why Every Organization Is Now a Startup” by Andy Crouch, Kurt Keilhacker, and Dave Blanchard. I had the pleasure of being on a Zoom call recently with a group of 25 young business persons and Dave Blanchard. (Thanks to my son-in-law, Calvin Kiburz, for the invitation.) I was very impressed with the entire group.
I always look forward to Tim Spivey’s “Stream of Consciousness” that he posts on many Fridays. Invariably I come away with a resource or thought that is helpful. I love this quote in his most recent post. - “Humility is perfect quietness of heart. It is to expect nothing, to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed or despised. It is to have a blessed home in the Lord, where I can go in and shut the door, and kneel to my Father in secret, and am at peace as in a deep sea of calmness, when all around and above is trouble.”― Andrew Murray
Tons of closed museums are posting videos of virtual visits. Check out two of these The Van Gogh Museum and The Louvre. (Thanks to Open Culture and Austin Kleon for this.)
Each Friday/Saturday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other church leaders as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.
Jim Martin serves as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find him at God-Hungry.org. His e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful.
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