(Collierville, Tn. City Park)
The List of Five
What You Might Become
I was a young husband, father, and a discouraged minister. I felt insecure and inadequate in a variety of ways. About this same time, I stumbled upon the following story:
There was once a sculptor who worked hard with hammer and chisel on a large block of marble. A little child who was watching him saw nothing more than large and small pieces of stone falling away left and right. He had no idea what was happening. But when the boy returned to the studio a few weeks later, he saw, to his surprise, a large, powerful lion sitting in the place where the marble had stood. With great excitement, the boy ran to the sculptor and said, “Sir, tell me, how did you know there was a lion in the marble?” (Henri Nouwen, Clowning in Rome, p. 87)
At first, this boy only saw a block of marble. Later, he saw a lion.
There is a sense in which you and I are a piece of marble that God is working on. He is carving and shaping, so that we might become what we never imagined.
It could be that as you and I look in the mirror today, we might only see marble. Yet one day we might see a lion!
Our lives are more significant than we might think.
Beware of giving up on your personal transformation into the image of Jesus. Do you look in the mirror, see who you are, and say “This is just the way I am?” Do you slump into your recliner, shrug your shoulders, and passively settle? Or, do you ask God to shape you into the kind of husband/wife or father/mother that he desires you to be?
Beware of seeing life as basically a human potential project. Rather, it is based on the transformative work of God and what he desires for us to be. As you and I yield to him, he forms and shapes us into the kind of people we could not be without him.
Beware of viewing life as primarily a self-improvement project. With God at work, and the power of the Holy Spirit within you and me, this is the opportunity for transformation. You are a work in progress (2 Cor. 3:18).
Our lives are based on our willingness to yield to the one who molds and shapes us into becoming a lion for him. Who knows what we will become as God continues to transform us for his honor! 2023 is not just another year for self-improvement. This is a year to see, in your life, the transformative work of God! You can become a more Christ-like man/woman, husband/wife, or father/mother.
What Kind of Friend Are You?
A good marriage is one in which each spouse secretly thinks he or she got the better deal, and this is true also of our friendships.
I love this quote by Anne Lamont (See Shane Parish, Brain Food, #499, November 20, 2022). There is much truth here. Whether in marriage or friendship, our relationships are blessed when we each think we got the better deal.
Consider your own friendships.
Do you take the initiative with friends? Some friendships seem to be “one-way.” That is, one friend typically takes the initiative while the other person typically receives.
Do you call your friends? Or, do they typically call you? Do you depend upon them to call you and then complain at times because you rarely hear from them?
Do you call your friends at times other than when you need them to listen to you vent or to help you work through a problem?
Do you ask your friends questions about their lives and work? Or do you find yourself talking on and on about your life, your problems, your vacation, etc. while you ask few, if any, questions about your friends’ lives?
Do you take the initiative to plan a time to get together or is this typically another’s initiative?
Suppose you were to make a list of ten people whom you count as friends. What if you were to begin the New Year by texting each person, simply telling them how much you appreciate them and how you value their friendship? What if you called one of these people on the telephone, particularly someone with whom you rarely talk?
When You Feel Silly
At times, you may not be at your best.
A few years ago, I met one of our Harding School of Theology (Memphis) students at an area Chinese restaurant. John would graduate in a few weeks and then move from Memphis to another part of the country where he would serve a congregation as its minister.
We sat down in a booth and I looked at the menu. I quickly decided to order sesame chicken. The waiter turned to me and for some reason I told him that I wanted almond chicken. A few minutes later, the waiter brought our food.
I looked at the plate and said, “This is almond chicken, isn’t it?” He said, “Yes.” I then said, “I really wanted cashew chicken.” As soon ask I said this, I knew that I still was not getting it right.
Ten minutes earlier, I had decided to order sesame chicken. Then I mistakenly ordered almond chicken. Now, I mistakenly (again) told him I wanted cashew chicken.
I couldn’t believe what I had just said. “I’m so sorry. All along I wanted sesame chicken. I know I said almond chicken, earlier, and then cashew chicken, just now, but what I really want is sesame chicken.”
The waiter was very patient and gracious. “No problem at all, I will take this almond chicken back and bring you sesame chicken.”
I had never changed what I intended to order. Yet, my words did not reflect this. The right words were not coming out of my mouth.
I felt a little silly and embarrassed. Yet, I know that most of us have similar moments. Regardless of our intentions, we have difficulty getting it right.
What helps me on days like this:
I don’t have to take myself so seriously. In fact, it often helps if I can laugh at myself.
When I make a mistake, I can put others at ease with a smile instead of cringing or getting tense because I made a silly blunder.
My mistakes do not define me or reflect my worth before the Lord.
I don’t have to have a perfect day in order to have a significant day. Very few of us are 100% during each moment of the day. I can still live a significant life on an imperfect day.
How Much Memory is Enough? (Especially for Ministers and Other Church Leaders)
Margaret Marcuson has written an article entitled “How Much Memory is Enough?” (See her newsletter, November 17, 2022). Note the following:
"Without sufficient memory we are lost; with too much we are captive." I found this quote from Jon Meacham in a file ("Southern Stand," Garden & Gun, April/May 2020--yes, it’s a real magazine, and it’s great!). I remember when I first read it I immediately thought of church. Memory and how we use it matters for church life.
Even if churches forget the past, it still affects their life together. They can trip over the unrecognized boulders. They don’t talk about the failures, the fights, the flawed leaders. Those secrets lie underground, sapping energy. Likewise, churches also forget the strengths and successes of the past that can help them forge the future. They aren’t in touch with the natural abilities they have, past ministries that might hint at future possibilities--not to recreate but to inspire creativity. Instead, they frantically look around to see what other churches are doing that they can imitate, and get lost in pretending to be something they are not.
Perhaps, at times, a church can have too little memory. Sometimes we may forget.
We can forget to deal with lingering problems, allowing them to continue and fester.
We can forget to address the ongoing misbehavior of a church leader. Far too many people have avoided this by saying, “Let’s just let it work itself out.” Avoidance is usually not the answer.
We can forget to deal with the undependable Bible class teacher. Week after week, children are in her classroom by themselves waiting on this chronically late teacher (sometimes 10-15 minutes late). Yet no one holds her accountable. (Her sister-in-law is married to one of the elders.)
Sometimes, a minister can forget that God has been working through the congregation long before this minister arrived. God will be working through this congregation long after this minister leaves.
Yet, perhaps at times, a church can have too much memory.
A teenager in the church is involved in reckless behavior. This young person grows up, has a great family, and a good job. Yet, twenty-five years later when someone suggests that he serve as the church treasurer, several bring up this incident of teenage reckless behavior.
A mission team that is supported by the congregation comes apart. There are accusations, bitter words, and the team returns to the USA. A decade later, other missionaries supported by the congregation feel as if they are treated with suspicion and distrust, even though the incident with the mission team took place many years earlier.
It is true that we can have too little memory or too much memory. Yet, we do need a memory that will sustain our faith. In the Lord’s Supper and baptism, we remember. When we read Scripture, we remember.
We might also remember the following:
We might remember to express appreciation to those who serve our churches. If your preacher is working hard, serving faithfully, praying daily, and loving the people well, you have a real jewel! Don’t take such a person for granted.
We might remember the stories of Scripture which can sustain us in our faith. One of the most important disciplines for any minister (actually, any Christian) is to simply read the Bible, looking for what God wants us to hear (and obey).
Etcetera (Reading and Listening)
Recently read Paul David Tripp’s excellent book, Reactivity, which is all about the use of social media among Christians. I love his emphasis on selflessness, limits, and dignity.
Recently listened to this podcast by Greg McKeown, “The 85% Rule.” Very good.
Russell Moore interviews Tim Keller regarding his new book Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I?
Recently read The Gravity of Joy by Angela Gorrell. The author tells the story of the three recent deaths in her family at a time in which she had begun a study on “joy” at Yale University.
Just read “Text Your Friends. It Matters More Than You Think” in The New York Times (July 11, 2022).
Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.
I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin
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