The List of Five
Pay Attention to What Matters
The little girl above is my granddaughter, Elsie. I have no trouble paying attention to her. Like my three grandsons, she is very important to me. When she wants my attention, I notice.
Occasionally I read Rob Walker’s, “The Art of Noticing.” Each time I read this newsletter, I am reminded again of the importance of noticing something or someone.
I was in the 7th grade and Mrs. Cummings was attempting to teach. At the same time, some of us were talking and distracting others. We were making it very difficult for her to teach. Finally, in sheer exasperation, she slammed her book on her desk and yelled, “Pay Attention!”
Decades later, I still need to be reminded to pay attention to what matters most.
For many years, I preached each Sunday, serving various congregations as their preacher. Unfortunately, sometimes, I paid far too much attention to the negative words of a few critics.
Of course, I am not above the criticism of others. However, there are occasionally a few people in churches who seem to function as the regular critics. Regular critics can sometimes express their criticism in ways that feel very personal and discouraging.
Eventually I became aware that I was spending way too much time and energy trying to please such critics. At the same time, I was often not giving enough attention to those who had much to offer.
Consider the value of paying attention to the following people:
Pay attention to the wise - you and have much to gain from them.
Pay attention to those whom you might serve - this is such an opportunity to learn and grow as you give yourself in service to another.
Pay attention to those whom God has placed in your life to build you up - listen especially to your mentors, coaches, and encouragers.
Pay attention to the people who are life giving - often these people can bring refreshment and life when you are in their presence.
Pay attention to those who might see the subject at hand in a different way - they are not necessarily your critics simply because they have a different point of view. In fact, they may help to sharpen your thinking.
Most importantly, pay attention to what God is doing in your life. I love the following words of Elisabeth Elliot:
If you dwell on your own feelings about things rather than dwelling on the faithfulness, the love, and the mercy of God, then you’re likely to have a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Our feelings are very fleeting and ephemeral, aren’t they? We can’t dwell on them for five minutes at a time. But dwelling on the love, faithfulness, and mercy of God is always safe.
Get Prepared for What is Next
A few years ago, my friend Dale Robinson reminded me of a wonderful quote by Lynn Anderson (longtime minister and mentor):
The depth of your preparation will have a direct impact on the longevity and impact of your ministry.
I love this quote! Preparation really does matter. Preparation matters for anyone contemplating marriage or attempting to rear a child. Whether you are thinking about your personal finances, your work, or the upcoming year, preparation matters. It certainly matters as you consider your ministry. It matters whether you are preaching, teaching a class, or about to have a difficult conversation with an individual.
Yet, sometimes we get stuck, passively waiting for things to get better.
If only . . .
Life is really going to be good when . . . finally happens.
If I could just get a break, life would be so good
You may know people who passively wait each year for something good to happen or for their problems to go away. Yet, what if you and I prayed and trusted God, while we prepared for the future?
The depth of our preparation really does matter as we consider the intentional impact of our lives.
What kind of person would you like to become in the next 24 months? What might you do to prepare yourself?
What kind of husband/wife would you like to become in the next 24 months? What is one small step that could help move you in that direction?
What kind of father/mother (or even grandparent) would you like to become in the next 24 months? What is one small change you could make this week that would move you a bit closer to becoming that kind of person?
Do People Energize You or Exhaust You?
I was visiting with a fellow minister one day. That particular day, we both had been with a number of people at a large gathering.
I told him, “All of these people and all of these conversations. I am exhausted!”
My friend then said, “All of these people and all of these conversations. I am energized!”
We both had experienced a similar day. However, what left me exhausted left him energized.
In a conversation with Susan Cain, Simon Sinek gives a simple but helpful analogy in describing the extrovert and the introvert. Sinek uses the analogy of coins.
The extrovert wakes up in the morning with no coins. At every interaction with another person, the extrovert gains a coin. At the end of the day this person feels rich!
In contrast, the introvert wakes up every morning with five coins and with every interaction this person spends a coin. At the end of the day, this person feels exhausted.
Can you relate to this?
Sinek says this is important because it relates to one’s energy. For example, as an introvert himself, he can do public speaking because while he is speaking on stage, he connects with one person at a time. Yet, when he walks off the stage, he is “absolutely shattered” as if he had gone for an hour long run.
I relate to this. While I love being with people, as an introvert, these interactions impact my energy level. In the mornings, after spending time in prayer, reading Scripture, praying, etc., my energy level is high. Or to use the analogy, I have five coins early in the morning. However, a conversation, especially an intense conversation, takes a coin. A difficult meeting usually takes another coin. By the end of the day, I am spent!
This may be helpful as you consider how to manage your energy each day.
As someone who tends to be more of an extrovert, you probably need to be intentional about scheduling enough time with people. In some ways, being with people may be like fuel for you. You become energized by various conversations, meetings, and encounters with others.
However, as someone who tends to be more of an introvert, you might be intentional about not scheduling too many intense conversations and meetings during the day. If I foresee these to be intense, I typically avoid scheduling them back-to-back.
Of course, these are generalizations and may not hold true for every person. Yet, I have learned to be intentional about scheduling my time, due to the impact on my energy level. Perhaps this will be helpful to you.
When You Are Weary (Especially for Ministers and other Church Leaders)
Gordon MacDonald tells of a time when as a child he was traveling with his family on a dusty, deserted road in Canada. It was late, and the family had been traveling the entire day. They were lost, tired, and were becoming irritable with one another. They could not find a motel, and the few cabins they did see, had “No Vacancy” signs in the window. The trip had begun with excitement, but all of that had worn away as they pushed ahead thinking that down the road somewhere there had to be a place to sleep. MacDonald continues by saying:
I have often recalled the feelings and frustration of that late-night, dark-road experience whenever my life seemed to momentarily turn into a mindless or spirit less journey crammed with events (not experiences) and contacts (not relationships). In such confounding periods, my sense is that one feels like my family did that night in Canada. Where is all of this going? What does it mean? And, how will I know when the destination has been reached? Why has this exciting trip suddenly turned into a wearisome journey? Where will I find tranquility again? Restoring Your Spiritual Passion, pp. 7-8
Can you relate to this?
There are times when life has left me feeling tired and weary. These feelings are not the result of one incident or disappointment. Rather, weariness seems to be the result of numerous difficult situations stacked on top of one another. The compilation of these situations over time can be draining and exhausting.
Prolonged weariness can leave one feeling tired and depleted. If you are like many, you may even come to a place where you finally become numb to what is happening in your life.
During times when I feel particularly weary, I have found it helpful to re-visit my purpose for being alive and getting out of bed in the morning.
Focusing again on the purpose for my life, my family, and my work can help bring clarity and lift the fog. As a part of this, I sometimes reflect on the various ways God has worked in my life and express gratitude to him for his faithfulness.
The following are a few realities I try to keep in mind during such times:
1. I have absolutely no control over so much of what happens in life. I can’t control the decisions and choices that others make. Often life is very hard and can be confusing. Yet, I desire to make choices and decisions that will bring God pleasure.
2. I can choose my attitude, my outlook, and the direction of my life. Yes, this can be hard. However, in the power of the Spirit, I can take the next right step today.
3. I need to trust God. God is never weary or depleted. He does not begin his day discouraged. Even in my confusion, frustration, and anger, I want to hold on to him.
4. I need to be proactive instead of passive. Stephen Covey encourages us to “choose with the end in mind.” Clarify your life’s mission. He suggests that we write eulogies that we would want our friends to read at our funeral. Proactive people step into life while passive people spend their lives waiting for something to happen.
I would love to hear what you do when you are weary. Please consider leaving a comment below.
Etcetera - (Reading and Listening)
Listened to Russell Moore’s interview with Tim Keller on “forgiveness.” Note Keller’s most recent book, Forgive: Why Should I and How Can I? Very good!
This podcast by Greg McKeown is excellent and very helpful. See: “The #1 Way to Remove Resistance in Your Day.” Wonderful comments on the importance of “empathy.”
See this very good interview. Cary Nieuwhof interviews Patrick Lencioni.
Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.
I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin
Share this post