The List of Five
Who Needs a Harsh Critic When You Can Look in the Mirror?
Some of us are much harder on ourselves than we would ever be on other people. For example, you may know what it is to “put yourself out there” and mess up.
You are in conversation with someone and later realize you called him by the wrong name for the last 15 minutes.
You are an elementary school teacher and realize that you misspelled two words on a document to be signed by parents.
You are speaking to a group in a rural community and you refer to a “red” John Deere tractor. (They are historically a green/yellow combination.) Yes, I did this.
You introduce yourself to a family at church. You ask if they are visiting. They tell you they have been members of that church for a number of years. I’ve done this too.
Of course when you make mistakes, you may feel embarrassed or silly.
Yet, everybody makes mistakes! Even the perfectionist is not perfect. We all blunder. Some of us, when we do something well, might slightly acknowledge to ourselves, “That was good.” However, when we mess up, we may kick ourselves again and again for such a blunder.
Maybe you even stare at yourself in the mirror and mutter something like, “You idiot!” Who needs a harsh critic when you and I basically function in the same way when we look in the mirror?
Yet, what if you and handled our mistakes differently?
What if I was as gracious to myself as the Father is toward me when I mess up?
What if I was as gentle to myself as I would be toward another person who made the same blunder?
What if I could see the person in the mirror as a precious child of God, created in his image?
Maybe today, I could be just a bit more gentle and gracious to myself - even when I make a mistake.
The Value of Your Time
Poet and author Annie Dillard (The Writing Life) has said regarding the value of a schedule:
How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing. A schedule defends from chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days.
I could begin my day like this:
I could skip my morning time in Scripture and prayer.
I could read a number of negative, snarky comments on a Facebook post (or sarcastic, obnoxious tweets on Twitter).
I could rehearse my encounter with the guy who irritated me by what he said. I could replay this over and over in my mind.
I could start the day by complaining.
At times, when I have begun my day this way, I arrive at the office tense and a bit irritable. This has a way of being a negative cloud that impacts the whole day.
I have been thinking about this quote by Annie Dillard. So how do I spend my days? I sleep, work, exercise, and spend time with other people.
Yet what if you and I began our day with intention? At my best, this is how I prefer to begin my day:
I begin my day reading the Word of God and praying about the day.
I read something that is encouraging, positive, and life giving.
I write in my journal.
I stretch, drink water, enjoy a cup of coffee, and eat something which will provide fuel for my morning.
When I begin my day this way, I feel energized and ready for the day. My mind is not bogged down with anger and resentment but gratitude. My head is clearer and I have more mental and physical energy.
You may have another rhythm for your morning. Regardless, you and I can be intentional about the way we begin the day. It does make a difference.
One Question that Could Be Important for You Today
Lately, I have been thinking about one particular question:
Am I actually doing something about this (problem, concern, challenge) right now?
For example you may be thinking:
I really ought to do something about my finances. I am not sure where our money (home finances) is going.
I really need to start exercising. One day, I am going to get into shape.
I really need to start reading more. I just need to find the time.
There are some long-time friends I really need to check on. I’m really bad about keeping up with people.
Some of us may go for years like this, never really doing anything about some of our challenges. Perhaps it would help to ask, “Am I doing something about this right now?”
What if you were to simply start — even if it seems very, very small.
Regarding my finances: What if I began today simply logging all of my spending for the day? Yes, it may be small but it is a start.
Do I keep talking about my need for exercise? What if I were to start small? Maybe I could stretch - just for 10 minutes. What if I were to walk to the end of the block and back?
What about reading? What if I were to set a timer and just read for 10 minutes today?
Are there long-time friends who I need to contact? What if I sent a text to two friends today, simply saying: “I have been thinking about you today. Just want to say hello. I have good memories of times together.”
Perhaps these suggestions do not sound like much. However, this is a start. You are actually doing something about this today. Make progress today and then deal with tomorrow. Far too often we complicate things and end up doing nothing.
Today — you and I can make progress
Will You Help Me With This? (Especially for ministers and other church leaders)
I can always tell when I am neglecting my life-giving habits. There are certain habits and practices that help me feel alive and give me energy. Some of these include: exercise, reading, being with my grandchildren, writing, watching sports, etc. I can tell a real difference when I am in rhythm, doing these things.
I would love to know what some of your practices are that help you feel alive and give you energy. I really think others would value knowing this as well.
Will you leave a comment here? Just click on the comment button below. (You may enjoy not only leaving a comment but reading the comments that have been left.)
Etcetera - Reading and Listening Resources
Hear Guy Raz interview Greg McKeown, author of Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less and Effortless: Make it Easier to do What Matters Most.
Reading Rich Villosdas book, Good and Beautiful and King: Becoming Whole in a Fractured World. Just started the book but am enjoying it.
If you need something to brighten your day (2:38):
Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.
I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin
Share this post