I’m glad you are reading this “Encouragement Note.” Hopefully, at the beginning of a new week, this will provide at least some encouragement. Often, what is needed is simply the encouragement to take the next right step.
(Unsplash - Rosie Kerr)
The List of Five
I’m So Glad I Read This Again
I love the following few lines as Mary Oliver gives some simple instructions for living. These lines are from the poem, “Sometimes:”
Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it.
I almost missed the significance of these three lines the first time I read them. I’m glad I read them again! These simple lines are a reminder that navigating life, while challenging, can also be pretty basic.
Pay Attention — Pay attention to things that matter. As a Christ-follower, this means paying attention to the words and desires of Jesus. I want to pay attention to the people in my life. I don’t want to be staring at the screen on my phone instead of being fully present with another person. Instead of formulating my response while another person is talking, I want to listen intently with my curiosity engaged.
Be Astonished — I want to have a sense of wonder as I witness the beautiful character of God and his powerful actions. I do not want to lose the “wow!” that most naturally comes as one thinks, feels, and experiences the presence of God.
Tell About It — Life was never meant to be lived within our own heads. There is something life-giving when we express to another how we have witnessed the wonder of God.
Today, I don’t want to be on auto-pilot and mindlessly miss the beauty around me. I do not want to be so busy that I am never really present with anyone. I want to pay attention to what matters. I want to still be astonished at the beauty and power of God.
We don’t suffer these days from any lack of communication, but rather from all the forces making us say things when we’ve got nothing much to say.
Sometimes, we may even feel compelled to give our opinions on various subjects when we may not really have much to say. Yet, what matters is not how much we talk, comment, or post. What matters is listening well and learning. What matters is being present and paying attention.
Four Investments that Could Be Life Changing
The recent article “How a Cancer Diagnosis Makes Jesus’ Death and Resurrection Mean More” by Tish Harrison Warren caught my attention. In the article, Tim Keller expresses the following thoughts regarding his cancer diagnosis:
My wife, Kathy, and I are fairly well known as being a team. In many ways, we are joined at the hip. Right after the cancer was diagnosed, we realized it wasn’t right to come to the end of our lives without improving our marriage in places where it could be better. There were some things that she felt that she could not talk to me about because I didn’t respond well and she had given up trying to do it. But now we’re finding breakthroughs and being able to talk about certain things and deal with them in a way we were never able to before.
You immediately look around at your children, your grandchildren and say, what are the things I want to say to them and do with them?
Then thirdly, writing. I’m asking, “What are some things I want to write about — notes in a bottle to the future church?”
The last thing is trying to encourage people. I want to be an encourager.
There is something about Keller’s words that bring clarity and perspective to life. Though he writes from New York City, his words can be helpful whether we live in a city, a suburb, or a small town.
When I was about forty years old (1993), Charlotte and I were living in Waco, Texas with our two young daughters. At one point, after several x-rays, a physician discovered a large tumor near the top of my spine. Days later, I sat in a surgeon’s office, scared to death. I listened as he told me he would be opening up my chest to remove this tumor. The tumor was benign but I was still scared. I called my friend, Dan Anders who ministered on the campus of Pepperdine University. He battled cancer for a long time. He said, “The first time you catch a whiff of your own mortality, it is terrifying.”
Perhaps Keller “caught a whiff of his own mortality” when he expressed the four things he wished to do with his time. What might our lives be like if we held to the same four commitments?
What would say to your spouse if you knew this would be his/her last day?
What might you say to your children if you knew you had little time to live? Is this something you need to be intentional about communicating right now?
What would you like to say to the future church? What might you say on behalf of those whom you dearly love who will be a part of that church?
Who would you intentionally seek to encourage?
We don’t have to wait until we have a serious disease in order to spend the remainder of our time wisely. Perhaps we can learn from Keller as he writes about these four desires for his own life.
I am grateful for this reminder to invest my life in a few things that matter most - cancer or no cancer.
When Leaving Isn’t The Answer
What does a person do with emotional pain? Many people simply leave.
They don’t necessarily leave physically. Rather, they leave emotionally.
Many have learned to respond to pain by withdrawing. When our granddaughter was still a toddler, she learned to play “hide and seek.” When it was her turn to hide, she would close her eyes, thinking that she was hidden from the sight of others as long as her eyes were closed.
Some of us have tried to deal with pain by going within. In essence, we closed our eyes thinking this was a safe place to hide.
While withdrawing may be one’s default for dealing with pain, it is not conducive to connecting emotionally with another person. In fact, for family members and friends it can feel like the person has “gone away.”
When we leave one another emotionally, where do we go?
Some of us just stay very, very busy. We lose ourselves in our work. Maybe we can stay so busy that we are not preoccupied with the pain and emptiness we feel.
Some of us look for a way to medicate or numb our pain. Alcohol. Drugs. Pornography. Some parents may lose themselves in their children to avoid addressing the painful issues of their marriages. Yet, this can be a way of not dealing with pain.
Some of us retreat to a room within ourselves which may seem safe but actually serves to disconnect us from the people we love most. This “cave” can be a place that might seem safe but it actually may expose us again to memories of earlier moments of shame, humiliation, and disappointment.
Early in our marriage, Charlotte would occasionally say to me, “Don’t go away.” She wasn’t talking about physically leaving our family. It had never occurred to me to leave our family and live elsewhere.
However, I would lose myself in my work, in my thoughts, and withdraw to a safe place in my mind that unfortunately excluded everyone else by virtue of my silence. What I eventually learned is that withdrawal into the self is actually futile. Your mind can become a museum consisting of the relics of unresolved conflict, unprocessed wounds, and pain that was never acknowledged.
Many years later, I see the same behavior in others. Some are young men who have allowed themselves to become moody and emotionally unpredictable. Others are men and women who have stored away decades of pain, hurt, and resentment.
Basically, this behavior changes by the grace of God. This probably won’t happen overnight. For many men, this may have been a default behavior for many years. However, rather than saying “that’s just the way I am,” Christians believe that God is powerful enough to break the chains of this futility. Christians, through the power of the Spirit, deal with their lives instead of allowing their relationships to fall apart.
One place to begin might be in voicing to God, in a spirit of humility, what you are really thinking and what you are really feeling. Trust that he is good and that his love for you is far greater than you can even imagine.
Being present in the moment can be painful at times. However, it is far better to stay connected, regardless of the pain, than to attempt to go it alone.
Ministry Survival #2 (Especially for Ministers and Other Church Leaders)
The following is from a list I created entitled “Ten Ways to Survive in the First Year of a Ministry with a Congregation.” If you are a new minister, this may be very helpful. If you are a seasoned, experienced minister, this can be helpful to review occasionally. This may be a reminder of some basics that you want to remember. (See part 1 in “Jim Martin’s Encouragement Note #55)
1. Be interested in how God has been working in this church long before you began your ministry. Ask others, “What do you love about this church?” or “What has been a high point for the church since you have been here?” This can be a humble reminder that the work of God does not begin with me and any ministry skill.
2. Follow through. If you say, “Let’s have coffee or lunch”—follow through. If you get texts/e-mails that call for an answer —follow through. Be aware of the promises you are making—follow through.
3. You don’t have to give an opinion or comment about every matter. When someone criticizes a previous minister, you are not compelled to explain or defend. Just listen.
4. Be aware of the threats: 1. Your idealism 2. Your sense of inadequacy. 3. Your temptation to use distance to deal with intimidation. 4. Your loneliness. Some of us know what it is to feel lonely. We may know what it is to feel as if no one in the church knows what we are going through.
5. Pay attention to your spouse. Adjusting to a new congregation can be hard. Pay attention to the instincts of your spouse as you navigate your way through the congregation.
Reading/Listening
I found this article, “29 Lessons from Owning a Bookstore” by Ryan Holiday interesting. Maybe I was drawn to this because of the digital age and the closing of numerous physical bookstores in recent years.
I listened to Russell Moore interview Jonathan Haidt on the Russell Moore Show (his podcast). Very interesting.
Have you read anything by Trevor Hudson? This week I have been reading portions of his Beyond Loneliness: The Gift of God’s Friendship. Consider this quote (p. 101):
Imagine the freedom we would have if we could live beyond fear - the freedom to be ourselves without any need to impress or perform, the freedom to relate to others honestly, openly, and non-defensively, the freedom to open our hearts to those who suffer and are desperate . . . above all, the freedom to surrender our lives fully to the intimate friendship that God passionately longs to have with each one of us.
I love this quote from The Preacher’s Catechism by Lewis Allen. As he discusses three preaching priorities, he includes “We work with you for your joy:”
For your joy! These three words should send shock waves through every preacher. Our goal is to deepen the joy of our hearers in Jesus Christ. He is the pearl of great price, the bread of life, the splendor of heaven. Without finding our joy in him, we will shrivel up, just going through the motions as disciples. But if we discover that Jesus is so wonderful and glorious, we will live eagerly and boldly for him. Preaching which honors God and helps people is transparently humble and loving, and builds joy-filled confidence in Christ (pp. 63-64).
Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.
I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin
Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #56