Jim Martin's Encouragement Note
Jim Martin's Encouragement Note
Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #49
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Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #49

We were at church one Sunday. I overheard one of the church leaders say, “We asked John to lead prayer. He leads such a good prayer.” I remember thinking, “What makes a good prayer?” Maybe he was saying that John was good with words. I’m not sure.

I do know that some of the most profound prayers one might ever pray may sound rather simple. This prayer may come from the lips of a child, a man or woman who is discouraged, or a minister who doesn’t know what to do.

brown wooden dock in the middle of forest

(Todd Trapani - Unsplash)

The List of Five

A Simple But Profound Three Word Prayer

Recently, I was reading the story of the Canaanite woman (Matthew 15:21-28). I was struck by the words of her prayer as she knelt before Jesus: “Lord, help me!”

Could this be your prayer as we begin this New Year?

  • Are you a single mother, grappling with how to rear three children by yourself? — You may be praying, “Lord help me!”

  • Are you deeply lonely, wondering what your future holds? — “Lord help me!”

  • Are you a school teacher, exhausted from teaching during these difficult times? — “Lord help me!”

  • Are you facing a strong temptation, fearful that you might yield? — “Lord help me!”

  • Are you wrestling with depression, wondering when you are going to get out of this deep dark hole? — “Lord help me!”

  • Are you a minister or church leader, discouraged by all that has gone on in your congregation during the pandemic? — “Lord help me!”

Of course, it could be that you are not in a crisis. Maybe you are just tired and exhausted from life. You too may wish to pray, “Lord help me!”

Like the Canaanite woman, Jesus hears you when you cry out to him. He hears you. He sees you. He affirms your persistent faith.

Know that even the simplest prayer of dependence, coming from you, matters deeply to God. “Lord, help me!


An Action You Can Take That Will Make a Real Difference

Water began to drip from our living room ceiling. Right in the middle of our 2021 Christmas holidays! All of our children and grandchildren were present. Water was dripping from the ceiling, right under an upstairs bathroom. This set into motion conversations with the plumber, the insurance agent, the water damage crew, the “tile guy” and others. Then, of course, we had a nice size hole in our living room ceiling.

Ironically, as consuming as this was to Charlotte and me, you would never have known we had a problem if you were to drive down our street and view the exterior of our house. In fact, everything looked normal - from the outside.

In some respects, this is similar to what it means to be human. Most of us only see the exterior of another person. As you see the exterior of their lives, they may appear to be doing quite well. (“They just went on another big vacation!”) Yet, the interior of their lives may need a lot of attention. There may be “leaks” and other areas that need adjustment. Yet, far too many people worry more about their exterior appearance than what is going on within them internally. They may put more energy into creating a great selfie for Instagram than dealing with some of the mess within.

If you want to inspect the condition of your interior life, the following are a few good places to begin:

1. Your daily habits that help form and shape your soul.  Prayer, scripture reading, silence, and many, many other spiritual disciplines can be very helpful.  (See Adele Ahlberg Calhoun, Spiritual Disciplines Handbook: Practices that Transform Us, 2005)

2. Your relationships with others. Your spouse. Your children. Other family members. Your friends.

3. What you give your attention to. When water began leaking from our ceiling, I called a plumber quickly. I did not delay, thinking I would eventually get around to it. What or who needs your attention today?

4. What you are thinking or feeling right now. This is about self-awareness. Can you identify what is taking place within you? Are you sad? Angry? Feeling discouraged? It can be helpful to simply recognize what is going on within you.

5. The unhealthy and unholy distractions in your life. What are you giving your attention to that is unhealthy or unholy? It may be an attitude or a behavior that is wrong. What is it that you know you need to stop doing?

In your work or ministry, it is important to start with yourself and your own interior life. After that you can begin to examine the institutions you are a part of (your work, ministry, etc.)

Hear the words of Parker Palmer:

Everything in us cries out against it. That is why we externalize everything - it is far easier to deal with the exterior world. It is easier to spend your life manipulating an institution than dealing with your own soul. We make institutions sound complicated and hard and rigorous, but they are simplicity itself compared with our inner labyrinths. (cited in, Peter Scazzero, The Emotionally Healthy Leader, p. 51)

In the meantime, know that when you see your friend’s selfie on social media, there is more to that person’s life than what you are seeing at that moment.

Know that real change and strong character come from paying attention to your interior life. Pay attention to this and you are doing something significant in 2022.

Finally, the following four questions might be helpful as you reflect on your interior life:

  1. What do you tend to daydream about? What do you find yourself imagining?

  2. What did you learn last year (2021) that you wish to carry over to your walk with God this year (2022)?

  3. When you are tired, weary, or fatigued, do you have habits or tendencies that are really not very helpful? (For example, when tired, some people are on edge and tend to be curt and abrupt with their family and others. Not really helpful toward building healthy relationships.) What have you learned to do that is helpful?

  4. Six months from now, what kind of disciplines or practices do you want to have in place for the benefit of your interior life and your future?

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I Don’t Want to Sound Weird But . . .

“I’m lonely.”

Many us may even feel embarrassed at acknowledging this. So says the excellent article by Susan Mettes, “The Riddle of Church Loneliness” that appeared recently in Christianity Today (November 2021, p. 45).

Maybe you have felt this at different times. I certainly have. The following are some conversations about loneliness I’ve had with others:

  • The college student who is away from home for the first time.

  • The person who is struggling with depression and wonders if there is anyone else who feels this way.

  • The new family at church. People are friendly at this church but the family is having difficult breaking into social circles.

  • The newly retired person who lived a work life where he/she felt needed and in demand. Now the need and demand seem to be gone. As one person told me, “My phone is not ringing. I’m not the person everyone is calling.”

  • The single mother who works hard, is raising her three children and looking for a place to belong.

Susan Mettes writes:

Loneliness is the distress someone feels when their social connections don’t meet their need for emotional intimacy. So, it’s lack. It’s disappointment. It’s something we are conscious of, even when we don’t call it loneliness. Loneliness is the thirst that drives us to seek companionship - or, perhaps better, fellowship. Without fellowship, we go on needling others and seeking relief for that need. . . . Most people who feel lonely at least weekly say that it’s intense but not excruciating. However, of those who did feel lonely, about one in ten are suffering deeply, saying their loneliness is unbearable . . . .

If you have felt lonely, know that you are not weird or odd. If anything, this might simply indicate that you are fully alive and need connection with others.

In the meantime, be intentional with your life when you are in the presence of others. For example:

  1. Spend your day focused on loving God and loving others. You can do this as you teach school, coach a team, or sell a product.

  2. Play the long game instead of impulsively yielding to whatever might give a moment of pleasure.

  3. Invest your life in your spouse, children, friends, and others who would love to have your attention even for a few minutes. Jesus will use these moments.

  4. Brighten another’s day with your smile, your encouraging words, and your willingness to “roll up your sleeves” and help.

Does this solve loneliness? No. However, it might keep you from spending your life waiting for something to happen or desperately trying to get the attention of others. Instead, you are intentional with your presence with others, trusting Jesus to be at work.


You Can Do This (Especially for Ministers/Church Leaders)

Ministry is sometimes joyful, it is sometimes painful, but it is often very, very hard!

To all who serve as ministers (and any other Christ-followers who might be blessed by this):

  1. You matter. You are so dear to the Father.

  2. Your ministry matters. I know, sometimes you may wonder if it is not all in vain. For many, there have been deep disappointments and reasons to be discouraged. Yet, you may be doing far more good than you might ever know.

  3. Your God is with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.

I know that some shepherds go to great lengths to affirm and communicate appreciation to their ministers. Yet there are far too many churches where ministers work hard, serve faithfully, and there are few if any affirming words or words of appreciation. Just silence.

Ministers, know that the Father hears you, sees you, and is delighted with your faithful service.

As you continue to serve, hear these words from Rick and Kay Warren who said the following in a recent interview with Ed Stetzer:

“When you’re under severe stress,” said Rick, “when you’re in chronic chaos, which is what we’re in right now, set and stick with a simple routine…You need to remember that routine develops resilience, predictability creates stability in ministry and in life, structure creates steadiness.” 

Following a routine includes maintaining basic boundaries like not staying up or sleeping in late. Another important part of a routine is taking regular breaks, such as going on a walk. Kay said, “What we’re learning is that you’re actually more productive if you take several five-minute breaks during your day, rather than something that is all at one time…Just know that if you’re going to be sitting and doing something for a while, it’s so much better to get up.” She also emphasized the importance of good eating habits and exercise, noting that we are all individually responsible for our own decisions in these areas. 

If you enjoyed this issue of “Jim Martin’s Encouragement Note,” please pass this on to friends. Also, I would love to hear from you if you found something particularly helpful or meaningful to you (jmartin9669@gmail.com).


Resources

See Kathleen Smith, “Four Questions to Help You Grow Up” in Medium, January 2022.

Just finished listening to Cokie Roberts, We Are Our Mothers’ Daughters. An excellent book. Listened to the audio version and glad I did. Roberts narrates the book herself.

I’ve been reading Amanda Ripley’s High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out. Very helpful book.

See Kathleen Smith’s excellent article, 20 Questions for Growing in the New Year, January 7, 2022. Smith says much about the application of systems thinking even in the questions she raises.


Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin

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Jim Martin's Encouragement Note
Jim Martin's Encouragement Note
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