Your time is valuable. Within seconds you decide whether you will read this e-mail or not. Yet, if you are like many of us, you need all the encouragement you can get.
The List of Five
(Unsplash - Timothy Eberly)
When is The Last Time You Felt Thirteen?
Writer Jon Acuff recently produced a podcast with the above title. He spoke about occasions when we may have felt silly or out of place. These are times when we may have felt thirteen years old again.
While in college, I was working an evening shift with UPS (United Parcel Service). An executive with the company was present. He had just begun working with the Dallas center after having moved from New Jersey. He called a brief meeting, in the middle of a shift, of those who worked in our section of the plant. We had all been either loading or unloading UPS trucks. Meanwhile, he was impeccably dressed in a tailored dark suit and white shirt. He was well spoken as he addressed our group regarding some company news. He then proceeded to pass out new company t-shirts. At one point, in an attempt to be funny, I said something to him in front of the group. Whatever I said fell flat. He said nothing but appeared to be puzzled by what I said. I felt thirteen again.
Years later, I was a very young minister full of energy and ideas but also had numerous insecurities and feelings of inadequacy. On one occasion, I was in Abilene, Texas at a gathering of ministers and other church leaders from across the country. While there, I attended a reception in the home of the dean of the Bible department. I went to this reception with a friend who was also a minister.
Inside, various small groups consisting of ministers and academics were enjoying conversation. Some talked about a recent book published or a new ministry role. I recall thinking, “They all know one another and are doing important things - all of them except me.” I felt thirteen again.
Sometime time later, I realized I had not seen my friend since we had arrived at the home. Finally, I went outside to see if his car was still there. My friend was sitting on the curb - alone. I asked him if he was ok. He said, “Yes, I just feel so out of place in such gatherings.” I was surprised. My friend seemed so confident and self assured. “How could he feel out of place?”
Looking back at that moment, I realized I was not the only one who felt thirteen again.
Can you relate to this? Like many of us, there may be times when you may feel thirteen again.
Perhaps the following might be helpful:
First, you don’t have to allow these feelings to determine who you really are. This is one moment in time.
You might write down the following, “Right now I feel thirteen because . . . “ Then list a few of the reasons as to why you might feel this way. Sometimes, simply writing it down can give clarity.
You may find this to be a good occasion to remind yourself that you are called, and your competency and sense of adequacy come from Jesus.
Ten Important Truths About Life That I’ve Learned From Others
Mary Cordell - The importance of praying throughout the day. She believed that prayer was critical conversation with the living God. She would often mention what or whom she was praying for.
Hugh Campbell - He served as principal and football coach at our school. One day he asked me if I was planning to play football. I told him that I wasn’t because I wanted to buy a car. He said, “You only have one opportunity to do some things in life. You are going to always have a car.” At the time, I foolishly ignored his advice, but have never forgotten it.
Lynn Anderson - He spoke of how the Psalms can help shape a person into becoming a God-hungry man or woman. He seemed to know intimately both the Psalms and the heart of God.
Tom Olbricht - He asked questions like: “What is the heart of Scripture? What is the heart of the Old Testament or the New Testament?” Spending time focusing on what is at the heart of it all, was incredibly helpful.
Charlotte Martin - At times, I saw her intentionally do good, express kindness, and love persons who had mistreated her in some way. She modeled the love of Jesus in this way.
Charles Coil - I saw him, in a variety of settings, communicate value to people whom others might not have seen as valuable.
Gordon MacDonald - Spoke of the need to “order your private world.” This had implications for my life personally, for our family, and for my work as a minister. He spoke of the importance of being attentive to the inner life.
Liz Ziegler - Upon learning that she had advanced cancer, she said, “I want to honor God with this. I feel so compelled to glorify him by the way I handle this.”
Landon Saunders - Just days before we got married, I heard one of the most passionate sermons I’ve ever heard as he pled for all of us to be “about the Father’s business.”
Bill Petty - He spoke often of the importance of being a person of joy, particularly as one works with others.
What I Wish I Had Known Before I Was Thirty
That so many of the worries and concerns I had in high school would be long forgotten in just a few years.
How quickly my children would be grown and out on their own.
The importance of developing and sustaining long-term, even life-long, friendships.
That the angst and worry I had regarding various ministry opportunities was often unnecessary, futile, and distracting.
How silly and pointless my petty jealousies really were.
The importance of paying attention to the “little things” in the lives of others.
That addressing my family dynamic and dysfunctions early on would help my marriage, my life as a father, and my work as a minister.
The value of self-care, including the practice of the spiritual disciplines, habits of good mental health, and staying in physical shape.
How my insecurities would get in the way of my marriage as well as my ministry.
The importance of speaking words of blessing and encouragement to others.
Ministry and Life are Often Hard
A hair dresser was discussing what 2020-2021 had been like for her business. She said, “Almost every single one of my clients has talked about how difficult the pandemic has been for them. Depression. Isolation. Loneliness.”
The political election, racial injustice and the pandemic (with its quarrels over masks and vaccines) have been difficult. These and other concerns have been at the forefront of conflicts in churches across the nation.
During this time, some ministers left their churches for other vocations. Many who continue to serve describe themselves as tired, worn out, spent, and exhausted.
This is a reality.
Ministry is often hard - and sometimes very hard.
A few suggestions:
It is critical that a minister create a routine so that each day there is abundant spiritual nourishment.
It is so important to give attention to healthy friendships. Friendships may be one of the best antidotes to isolation and loneliness.
It is vital to care for your body. So many of us learned during this pandemic that a walk, a run, or a workout each day can do wonders for your mood and sense of well being.
The difficulty of ministry does not mean that something is inherently wrong with you as a minister or your particular congregation. I once spoke with a woman who was very troubled about her marriage. Finally, at one point she said, “If marriage is a good thing to do, how come it is so hard?” As she elaborated on her question, I realized that she had assumed that if marriage was good, it really shouldn’t be difficult. The truth is, most any family relationship can be very difficult at times, both marriage and parenting. Yet, difficulty does not mean it is futile, dysfunctional, or a mistake.
There are sometimes seasons of ministry which may be difficult, even agonizing. Perhaps the more important question is, “How will I respond?”
Paul speaks about “the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers” (2 Corinthians 1:8-11).
Take Away:
How do you feel? Under great pressure? Far beyond your ability to endure?
How will you respond? Will you rely on God?
Can you look back and see how God has already been at work? Will you ask him to deliver you again?
Will you set your heart on the one who is with each one of us? Will you trust that he will continue to deliver you and me in answer to our prayers and the prayers of others?
Resources
You might enjoy this podcast. I recently did this with Jon Wood (Director of the Waldron Center for Entrepreneurship and Family Business, Harding University) and his graduate assistant Tyler Roth. Much of this has to do with replenishing the soul.
Jon Tyson’s podcast (pastor of Church of the City New York) “Intentional Family” is very good. This is a ten week series. (I have listened to about half of these)
See Tim Keller’s new podcast, “How to Reach the West Again.”
Jon Tyson recently preached “The Way of Jesus: The Way of Prayer.” Very good!
See Ryan Holliday’s “Work, Family, Scene: You Can Only Pick Two.” This article made me think.
I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin
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