Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #125

Navigating Through the Depleting Times . . . One of the Best Things You Might Do With Your Children . . . Consider Your Hands . . . Ministry is Not a Quick Fix . . . Etcetera

(Unsplash - Hannah Wei)

The List of Five

Navigating Through the Depleting Times

Most of us know times when we just feel depleted. Too many disappointments and challenges can leave you feeling empty.

You can become tired. Tired of having to deal with the impact of someone else’s self-centeredness. You can get sick and tired of constantly having to navigate through another mess.

Maybe you are navigating a difficult challenge right now. You are caring for a sick parent. You are struggling with job insecurity or a difficult boss. Perhaps you are facing financial hardship. These can be lonely, painful, energy depleting times.

I can relate to some of these situations. Difficult. Painful. So discouraging. In these moments of complete depletion, it helps for me to remember a powerful truth about my identity in Christ. “For it is God who is at work in you” (Phil. 2:13).

This is more than encouragement. This is an invitation to find power and strength in a transformative reality. God is at work in us! Our strength and energy comes from the Lord’s limitless and amazing power (Phil. 2:12-13; Eph. 1:17-19; 3:16-21).

We can either function in a way that is in alignment with what God is already doing in us or we can remain trapped in depletion and even spiritual exhaustion.

We are called to rely upon the power of God. His limitless strength is where we find hope, not in our finite and limited resources.

The good news is that he is our hope when we feel strong and confident. Likewise, he is our hope when we wonder if we can persevere.

Our hope is in him.

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One of the Best Gifts You Can Give Your Children

I know some tremendous parents.

These parents are engaged and involved with their children. They are dedicated to their children’s development. They will send them to athletic camps, invest in academic tutoring, and create opportunities for them to have amazing experiences.

All of these pursuits have value - perhaps great value. Yet, there is a practice that can have lasting impact upon our children: regular times where they hear their mother and/or dad read the Bible to them.

Some parents do this at breakfast. Others read them a passage before bed. You don’t have to read long passages. You don’t have to offer lengthy explanations or long lessons for them to remember.

Just a few minutes a day of reading the Bible together can help to profoundly shape a child’s spiritual formation.

Someone might say, “My child learns all of this at Bible School.” That’s good and it is wonderful that you take them to Bible School each week. However, there is no substitute for children hearing God’s Word read by their mom or dad.

A few suggestions:

1. Just start. Don’t waste time and energy regretting what you have not done previously.

2. Make the time a pleasant and positive experience. If there is tension in the room and the kids have been arguing, this may not be the time.

3. Consider how a particular passage might be helpful to the real life of your children. Many kids will be reluctant to discuss their own problems. However, they may be open to acknowledging the problems of their friends.

4. Be flexible, adjusting to your family’s changing schedules and weekday challenges.

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Consider Your Hands

Deliver us, when we draw near to you, from coldness of heart and wanderings of mind, that with steadfast thoughts and affections we may worship you in spirit and in truth; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (The Book of Common Prayer)

When I read this prayer, the phrase “coldness of heart and wanderings of mind” really stood out. I suppose we all might relate to this struggle. I certainly do.

Perhaps one way to address this is to regularly bring to God the condition of our hearts and minds, while we hold on to God as our hope.

With your left hand, bring your fear, anxiety, and dread directly to God (Phil. 4:6). Bring your cold heart and wandering mind to him. I have found it helpful to be very specific as I pray to God about the things that worry me. Describe your cold heart. Confess where it is that your mind wanders.

With your right hand, cling to God (Phil 4:5).  Cling to him like a small child who holds on to her mother or dad no matter what! Know that your heavenly Father will not let you go.  We hold onto him with the fierce dependance of a man or woman who knows they need help! God is near (Phil. 4:5).

Know that his peace is yours even though your heart may be broken over a relationship, a loss, etc. (Phil. 4:7). This peace from God may exist alongside your pain.

We are tethered to this wonderful, amazing God who is so much greater than we are.  He is greater than our greatest problem.

Are we going to be alright?  Yes, but not because the circumstances improve or the problems get fixed. Rather, God has promised to hold us close through it all.

So do not fear, for I am with you

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand  (Isa. 41:10)

Perhaps today I need to be reminded that God will strengthen me and help me. He will uphold me.

His divine grip has got you and me!

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Ministry is Not a Quick Fix (Especially for ministers and other church leaders)

Many of us live with a particular assumption about life: “If my life were going well, it would not be this hard.”

This belief sometimes encourages us to look for quick fixes when we are faced with challenges. Many ministers grapple with this one.

Consequently, when our ministries are a mess, we may react by focusing on the wrong things:

• Focusing on what someone thinks about me.

• Assuming I am burdening the people around me.

• Interpreting others’ disapproval as a catastrophe.

• Trying to be the person others want me to be.

• Focusing on controlling or changing those we serve.

• Worrying about people’s negative reactions to an situation before it even happens.

• Craving approval and attention from those in the congregation.

At the same time, some ministers believe that if they were doing ministry right, it would not be this hard. The following are three quick fix approaches that can become destructive patterns for ministers:

• The Accommodator: “It is easier to give them what they want than to hear them whine and complain.” We focus on pleasing people instead of leading the congregation toward what is right and necessary.

• The Actor: Our frustration with the elders or church members erupts into anger, sarcasm, or even contempt. Some ministers see this escalate into a deadly cynicism that ultimately causes many to crash and burn.

• The Avoider: We avoid difficult conversations, conflict, and challenging situations. Consequently, the church never matures because they are not led through the pain that is necessary to grow.

For any minister or church leader, the path to transformative ministry is not found in quick fixes. Rather, it is found in our willingness to embrace the pain of ministry and lead with conviction even when it is difficult.

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Etcetera

1. In the last few weeks, Charlotte and I have been to Waco and Dallas. We saw a number of friends in both places. We both came away blessed and encouraged by good conversations. While in Dallas, we had the opportunity to visit Logos Bookstore one of the few remaining Christian bookstores in the Dallas area. This was the bookstore where, in 1974, I was introduced to writers such as C.S. Lewis, Francis Shaeffer, and John R.W. Stott. This was a significant time in my faith journey. — While in Dallas, I spoke at the Prestoncrest seminar, “Telling the Story” and then on Sunday preached at the Shawnee Trail Church. (I’m thankful in particular to Josh Kingcade, Jacob Hawk, and Seth McDowell for last week.)

2. I’ve been captivated by this live video cam of a bald eagle and her chicks. It is in Big Bear Valley (San Bernardino, California.) Or you might enjoy the Great Horned Owl at the Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center near Austin, Texas.

3. I read an interesting article - “The Gentle Art of Manliness” by Sho Baraka, in Christianity Today, March/April, 2025, pp. 80-84.

4. I’m reading Wendell Berry’s Fidelity: Five Stories. A wonderful little book.

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I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin

Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #124

Your emotional self-awareness is powerful . . . Have you noticed? . . . When your anxiety speaks . . . Hard questions for church leaders . . . Etectera

(Unsplash - Олег Мороз)

The List of Five

Your Emotional Self-Awareness is Powerful

Consider the dashboard in your car. It tells you when you are low on gas. At times, there may be a “check engine light” that comes on, indicating that something is wrong. Many people have learned that the answer is not to ignore these warning signs.

• Are you aware of how much gas you have left in your car?

• Are you aware of how long it might take you to get somewhere?

• Are you aware of the impact you have on others (“I was just being honest”)

• Are you aware of how often you glance at your phone?

Yet, what about your inner life? Specifically, what about your emotional gauge? As a part of my self-awareness, I want to be aware of my emotional tendencies.

Recently, I noticed that I was reading/watching too much news, again. I was thinking too much about things I can do nothing about. I am now making some adjustments.

Emotional Neglect Has a High Cost

Paul’s words regarding our emotions and attitudes are very helpful. Note Ephesians 4:31:

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.

When we neglect our emotional health, the consequences can be varied. You and I can become persons who:

• Demand near perfection from others while we excuse our own behavior.

• Quickly leave when there is conflict, leaving conversations and others without any resolution.

• Explode with anger, spewing sharp words at a loved one.

• Become a master in manipulation in an attempt to be in control.

• Live with the constant fear of disapproval, while craving validation at every turn.

These emotional behaviors can squelch our passion, dim our vision, and hamper our capacity to move forward.

One of our challenges is to be aware of ourselves, others, and most of all God himself.

• Self - It is critical that I pay attention to my own spiritual and emotional well being. For me, this ranges from being attentive to the spiritual disciplines, going to the gym each weekday, and living a balanced life.

• Others - You and I need the body of Christ. We need relationships with other believers, spiritual friends who will encourage, admonish, and at times even correct.

• God - Remember our identity as God’s children. You and I follow Jesus while relying on the Spirit’s empowerment.

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Have You Noticed?

Some people have a way of giving you energy, hope, and encouragement. Such people are a gift from God.

There are even people whose presence seems to transform the energy of an entire group.

I love this quote by Edward G. Hale:

I am only one, but I am one.  I cannot do everything but I can do something.  And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.

We were at lunch when my friend asked me: “Could our next ten years be some of our most productive years?”  We went on to discuss our mutual desire to continue serving the Lord and finish well. Neither one of us wants to get within sight of the finish line and make destructive choices.

Some people seem to settle.

Too often men and women reach a certain age and practically shut down.  This may occur when their kids leave home and they experience an “empty nest.” For others, this may occur when they have grandchildren and eventually reach retirement.

Yet, this really isn’t about age. Rather some people seem to stop learning, questioning, and growing. You and I can lose our curiosity about life, the world, and even family members. 

We may greatly underestimate our capacity to do good and make a positive difference in someone else’s life. 

Contrast this perspective on life with that of Barnabas in the New Testament. Barnabas was known for:

• Helping needy people (Acts 4:32-37)

• Putting himself at risk for the sake of the kingdom (Acts 9:27)

• Being faithful to the call of God, as he was sent out with Paul from this multi-ethnic church (Acts 13:2)

• Investing in others (Acts 15:36-37) 

Regardless of your age, you can bless another person. There is no expiration date on God’s willingness to use you to make a kingdom difference.

Consider the following possibilities:

1. We can intentionally invest in men/women around us.  (Can you name three people?)

2. We can invest in others by keeping our eyes open for people who are saying or doing something right. (What three people have you noticed in the last few days who did something right?)

3. We can build up and encourage by our presence. (Can you name three people who could use your encouragement?)  

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When Your Anxiety Speaks

I was a college freshman, working nights at the United Parcel Service hub in Dallas. One night, I stood in a gathering of about fifteen part-time workers, as we met with a new executive from New Jersey who just been transferred to Dallas. At the conclusion of our brief meeting, I said something to him that was sarcastic, thinking I was being funny. The executive’s blank stare said it all. My attempt at humor had fallen flat.

I was embarrassed. Unfortunately, I had allowed my nervous energy to dictate my words instead of good judgement.

I wish I had thought before speaking.

How do I actually function as a leader?  Do I tend to lead with anxiety or do I allow good judgment to shape and direct my words? Do I provide a calm presence?

I recall the words of a church member regarding her former minister. She said regarding his ministry: “I often miss your calm and measured advice and counsel.” Would my congregation say the same about me? Or would they say that my words and demeanor contributed to the anxiety of the congregation?

One Sunday evening in Florence, Ala., I was preaching and my in-laws were present. In the sermon, I was challenging an idea that I had just read in a book.  What began as thoughtful disagreement moved into visible agitation.

After church, my father-in-law, who had preached for many years, pulled me aside. “I agree with most of what you said.  However, when you preach and you are visibly upset and agitated, we all become upset and agitated.  We take our cues from you.” 

His wisdom was incredibly helpful. Even when addressing difficult subjects, a leader can demonstrate that while the message is very important, God is still in control over our lives and this world.

I learned that this truth extends way beyond a sermon. Whether we are parents, single, school teachers, or in business, our emotional presence impacts those around us. People will take their cues from us.

Moving Forward:

Be who you are in Christ, not who you think others want you to be. Are you a business person? A young mother? A teacher? Be who you are in Christ.

Attempt to listen and seek to understand what it is like to be another. Listen deeply.

Gently approach and inquire. Approach others with a gentle, compassionate curiosity.

Make a list. Consider making a list of people for whom you are praying. Maybe there is a person who keeps showing up in your life. Perhaps you know a person you can bless and encourage. Maybe there is a particular person who has been on your mind lately. Make a list of 8-10 people as a place to begin. Pray for these people believing that God will help you and them.

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Hard Questions for Church Leaders (Especially for Ministers and Other Church Leaders)

Ministers and other church leaders are called to self-examination. This is especially true during times of tension and/or transition.

Before a minister leaves a congregation to begin a new ministry elsewhere, it is valuable to reflect on questions such as:

• How have I managed myself throughout the years that I have served this congregation? 

• What patterns emerged as I interacted with other church leaders or with members of the congregation?

• Did I focus more on managing myself or attempting to manage others? (Perhaps the elder group)

• What lessons can I carry forward to my next ministry? 

When a minister leaves, particularly after a brief or difficult tenure, the elders might consider reflecting on the following questions:

• As this minister prepares to leave this congregation, how did we, as shepherds, contribute to him serving in this congregation only three years?

• What are we going to have to deal with as we bring in our next minister? Could it be that we should have addressed this perviously as we worked with our former minister?

• Did any of the contention with the previous minister occur as the result of a “bully” among the shepherds? Would the end result of this difficult period had been different had we (as shepherds) insisted on a certain behavior toward our ministers?

Sometimes an elder group will experience frustration and then quickly conclude, “We just need the right minister.”  Perhaps this is true. 

However, before elders decide to make such a change, they would do well to first wrestle with the issue of their own functioning: 

• Is there something about us (as a group of elders) that makes us difficult to work with? 

• Is there something about the way we are functioning that does not bring health and life to a church family? 

• How did we contribute to the mess that exists in our congregation?” 

Granted, when elders are frustrated and believe the minister has broken their trust, such questions may seem unnecessary or undesirable.  Yet, it is so important to do some reflection regarding our own functioning. 

At the same time, some ministers seem to rarely get along with elders anywhere.  Reflecting on one’s behavior is not to be dismissive of unethical or unchristian behavior by an individual elder or the elder group. 

Yet, not to seriously deal with the issue of one’s own functioning may be to bypass the very issue that could greatly contribute to one’s growth and maturity.

These questions are not about assigning blame but fostering growth and maturity on the part of those who serve as ministers and shepherds of a congregation. Spiritual leadership begins with a willingness to examine myself and a willingness to change.

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Etcetera

1. Russell Moore interviews Robert Putnam (Bowling Alone) regarding the culture and community. See Beyond Bowling Alone: Finding Community in an Isolated Age | The Russell Moore Show

2. I have begun reading Dr. Kathleen Smith’s newest book, True to You: A Therapist’s Guide to Stop Pleasing Others and Start Being Yourself.

3. I am slowing reading through some of the interviews in vol. 1 and vol. 2 of The Paris Review Interviews. These interviews of writers, poets, etc. are interesting.

4. Frances Schaffer’s books were a significant part of my journey when I was in college. This video features Dr. Os Guiness (83 years of age) who met Schaffer in 1965 at L’Abri in Switzerland while Guiness was a college student.

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I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin

Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #123

Four steps that can keep you in shape . . . When you hear his name, do you smile?. . . From the soul or the ego? . . . Your emotional maturity matters . . . Etcetera

The List of Five

Four Steps that Can Keep You in Shape

The following are four important steps. One of these could be significant for you:

Step Forward – Start now and take a step forward.  I’ve said the following: “One day I will eat more healthy, read more, write a book, etc.” Yet, at the end of the year, I made little progress. Perhaps you can relate to this. Others seem to be waiting for the perfect moment in which to begin. “I’m waiting on more information, more knowledge, more expertise, etc.” Yet, it is so important to simply start! 

Step Away – Take time to think, read and reflect. Some more forward but rarely look within.  When there is no self-reflection, a person might ignore tendencies from the past that can influence the present.  Part of what gives leaders energy and endurance is to take the time to practice self-reflection. 

Step Up -- Take responsibility for your own behavior.  Sometimes good self-health begins with a willingness to be accountable. Take responsibility for being “you.” It takes courage to admit,  “I was on edge in that meeting last week.  I spoke abruptly as if my point of view was all that mattered.”

This honesty can be transformative. While others may point the finger at someone else, the maturing person considers how she/he might have contributed to this situation.  

Step Back - Take a step back to keep your perspective.  Do you recall being in a conversation with an acquaintance who was agitated?  Perhaps, what she/he seemed to be agitated about really was not the issue. 

The intensity and her sharp tone may have actually been fueled by a heartbreaking conversation the previous night with her adult son.  It can be helpful to step back and ask, “Am I reacting or am I responding with wisdom?”

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When You Hear the Name, Do You Smile?

There are certain people I have known, who were so pleasant, that I smile when I remember them or when I hear their name.

Dr. Bill (Willis E.) Kirk was one of these people.

Bill and Virginia moved to Waco, Texas when they were in their 70s. I knew of Bill by reputation. He was a practicing psychologist in the Dallas-Fort Worth area for many years. He was deeply involved with the Christian Care Center of Dallas. Many years earlier, he had served as a minister in the Northeastern part of the country.

It was a Monday. I was in my office at the church.  The receptionist called me and said, “Jim, Dr. Kirk is here and would like to talk with you.”

Bill came back to my office, sat down, and said, “I don’t want to take up a lot of time but I really enjoyed that sermon yesterday and was wondering where I could do more reading along the same line.” 

Wow. I don’t know that I had ever had a visit quite like this. I gave him the title of a book I had used as a sermon reference. He wrote the information on a small card and said he would order the book.  He soon left, complimenting me on the message and thanking me for the resource.

During the years in which the Kirks were at the Crestview Church, Bill frequently visited with me in my office. Often, the visit was to talk about the value of a series I was preaching. Sometimes he would ask for a book recommendation. Always, he would encourage me.

I wondered, “How can I be like him when I am his age?  How can I be fully alive like Bill when I am 76 years of age?  Will I smile?  Will I encourage others?”

When I think about Bill or hear his name, I smile. By the grace of God, I hope to follow in his steps.

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From the Soul or the Ego?

My constant companions were doubt and insecurity.

I was a young husband, father, and minister. In each role, I felt like a beginner. As a young minister, I felt so far behind my peers. At times, my inadequacy loomed larger than my sense of calling.

At one point, I realized I was trying to do this work from a diminished, broken self, instead of my soul, redeemed and made adequate by God in the power of the Spirit.

I once saw a photographer take team pictures of a football team. The wide receiver for the team began to pose. At one point, the wide receiver said to his friend, “How do I look now?”

In our anxiety, you and I can become more concerned with how we look than who we really are. “How do I look? What do others think of me?”

You and I can become far more concerned with creating a perception than pursuing a God-centered purpose.

Living out of your soul is to live out of your authentic self. I was once visiting with a longtime friend, a former minister, whom I occasionally met for lunch and conversation.

At one point in our conversation, I asked my friend, “How can I get the church to pray more?” My friend responded, “Jim, why don’t you just be a person of prayer and see what happens?”

Who am I becoming?

On one occasion in Kansas City, I was visiting with a Christian therapist. He asked how I was doing. I told him about some good things that had happened. Kind remarks from others regarding a sermon. A speaking invitation from a mentor.

The therapist then asked, “What if none of this had happened? What if no one affirmed you? Could you still be happy?”

Am I becoming the kind of person who can be happy because of what God is doing within me? Living out of my soul calls for attention to the spiritual disciplines (prayer, Scripture, times of silence and solitude, etc.) which help me be attentive to God.

What about you? Is your identity shaped by your ego and its desires? Or, are you being shaped by a soul that is undergoing a daily transformation?

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You May Be Interested

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Your Emotional Maturity Matters (Especially for ministers and other church leaders)

For many years, my mother worked at The Christian Teacher Bookstore in Dallas.  During this period of time, ministers, various church leaders, and congregations often had charge accounts at this bookstore. 

One day after coming home from work, she said, “I don’t understand how this preacher (she named him) can preach every Sunday and yet not pay his bill.”  That was many year ago but I can still remember how much this inconsistency bothered her. One can’t separate ministry from spirituality.

Whether a person refuses to pay his debts, watches porn, or is flippant about business ethics, these behaviors clash against the kind of people we were created and formed to be.   

We are not talking about how to improve, do more, or do better.  Rather we are talking about habits that better reflect who we are in Christ.  

Peter Scazzero stresses in his writings that one can’t remain emotionally immature and yet be spiritually mature (The Emotionally Healthy Leader). There is an inconsistency when one is perceived as spiritually mature in a congregation and yet at the same time actually functions in a manner that is emotionally immature. For example, something is wrong if a person is a wonderful Bible class teacher and yet talks to his wife in a manner that is demeaning, rude, and insulting. Something is wrong when someone serves as an elder in a congregation while others tip-toe around him because he has an explosive temper.

The question is not, “How many people take you seriously?” or “How much are you going to accomplish?” or  “Can you show some results?”

The question is “Are you in love with Jesus? Do you know the incarnate God?” (Henri Nouwen, In the Name of Jesus). 

Those of us who desire to know the living God are also to be in the process of giving our whole lives to him (including emotions) for his transformation. 

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Etcetera

1. I loved the conversation (Being Human) between Steve Cuss and Kathleen Smith, a marriage and family therapist who explains the family systems approach very well. Helpful!

2. Recently read some of the articles in the print edition of Christianity Today. Articles by Russell Moore, Steve Cuss, Malcolm Guite, Evan Howard and others.

3. I have been reading The Boys of Riverside by Thomas Fuller. This is the story of an entire football team who was deaf. Riverside California School for the Deaf serves over 400 Deaf and hard-of-hearing students, between the ages of 3 and 21.

4. Note that Peter Scazzero is working on a new project regarding “Weakness.” See his podcast, The Emotionally Healthy Leader Podcast - “Weakness: The Platform for Power Pt. 1.”

5. Two other podcast were particularly interesting to me. Old Testament scholar, Dr. Iain Provolon, was interviewed on the Regent College podcast regarding his book, Cuckoos in Our Nest: Truth and Lies About Being Human.

6. I just returned from the annual retreat of Hope Network Ministries. I have been a “partner” for many years. I encourage you to visit the website.

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I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin

Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #122

When Amazon learned from a small-town bookstore . . . The friends we need . . . You are a finisher . . . Becoming a person who can be mentored . . . Etcetera

The List of Five

When Amazon Learned From a Small-Town Bookstore

In 1994, a bookstore owner from Oxford, Mississippi stood before fifty aspiring booksellers in Seattle.

Richard Howorth, the owner of Square Books and then president of the American Booksellers Association was teaching a workshop on the fundamentals of a bookstore. These included such topics as inventory management, marketing, and customer relations.

Among the fifty workshop attenders was Jeff Bezos. While Richard Howorth was sharing his knowledge about brick and mortar bookstores, Bezos was in the group, envisioning something else. He envisioned an “online mall” that would begin with books and eventually become the world’s largest online retailer.

The very next year, Bezos began Amazon.

I learned about this connection in a recent book by Evan Fries, a history professor at James Madison University. The book is The Bookshop: A History of the American Bookstore, (published 2024). What drew me to the book (public library) is my love for physical bookstores, so many of which have faded away in recent years.

This story reminded me of a much deeper truth, that goes way beyond this story of booksellers.

You and I have no idea the impact we are having with other people each day.

You send an encouraging text to another person. You spend an hour with a person over coffee. You made it a point to talk with a certain person after church one Sunday. These moments may seem small and insignificant. Yet, God uses moments like these in ways that we cannot imagine!

These ordinary moments are used by God for his kingdom purposes. A moment that may seem relatively insignificant may be used by God to inspire, encourage, and correct.

Know this about your week. Your simple gesture of interest or kindness may actually be a very significant moment for someone.

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The Friends We Need

Through the years, I’ve discovered several types of friends who have become important companions in my life:

• The challenger. I have been blessed on occasion to be challenged by good friends. These friends may challenge my assumptions or my approach to a problem. The trust I have with these friends makes this so valuable.

• The mentor. I can point to several different mentors who have been helpful in my life and ministry. One particular mentor was present for much of my adult life. Others have been present for particular seasons. For example, I can point to several mentors which were particularly helpful as we raised our children.

• The encourager. An encouraging friend has given me hope and inspiration when I felt discouraged and defeated.

• The confidant. This may be someone with whom you can share your thoughts and emotions without having to constantly qualify what you say.

• The old friend. There is such value in investing in a friendship which you have enjoyed for decades. Such a person can carry shared memories for a lifetime.

• The new friend. You may develop a friend who helps you with a particular challenge. This may be the person who offers you a fresh perspective to an old problem.

You and I need friends. We also need to be a friend to others. Will we take the initiative to invest our time and energy in others?

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You Are a Finisher

Remember the Boston Marathon 2013? On April 18, 2013, the 117th annual race was disrupted by bombs.

That day, Brent Cunningham had just finished the race when he heard the two bombs explode. Minutes later, Cunningham, his wife, and their 17 year old daughter saw a young woman seated on a bench crying.

Cunningham and his wife Karin, a nurse, asked the woman if she was ok and if she knew where her family was. Karin took the space blanket, given to keep runners warm after the race, from around her husband’s shoulders and placed it around the woman to comfort her.

They learned that the young woman, 25 year old Laura E. Wellington, was one of many runners whose race had been interrupted due to the explosions.

Brent Cunningham later said, “I just saw a young gal in need and I just wanted to help her. I thought, ‘She’s alone. She’s scared. She’s cold. She didn’t get to finish. I just wanted to comfort here so I took my medal from around my neck and placed it around her neck.’ I said, ‘You are a finisher in my eyes.’”

These are the words that all who faithfully serve as ministers or shepherds need to hear. What counts is the “well done” that will come from the Father in the end.

In his eyes, you are a finisher!

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Becoming a Person Who Can Be Mentored (Especially for Ministers and Other Church Leaders)

Some of the healthiest minsters I know are often those who have been shaped by a few wise and healthy mentors. These are transformative partnerships that can help guide us through the seasons of our ministries and lives.

While the kind of mentor you choose is important, perhaps equally important is whether or not you are becoming the kind of person who can be mentored. Are you prepared to learn and grow, regardless of your age and experience?

Consider some of the following questions in light of whether you are becoming a person who can be mentored:

1. Do I actively seek out and listen to wise people?

2. Who am I learning from right now? Who is speaking into my life?

3. Do I listen - really listen - when a trusted person is offering guidance?

4. Do I insist on navigating my life alone? Is there a wall around me which doesn’t allow anyone else in?

5. Am I willing to assume responsibility for my personal growth and development?

6. Am I willing to manage myself or do I tend to focus on others - blaming and finding fault with others?

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Etcetera

1. I recently read Made Competent: A Story about Life in Ministry by Casey Coston. Casey, a long-time campus minister, has written a very fine work that many ministers will identify with, regardless of their ministry role.

2. As I mentioned above, I have been reading portions of The Bookshop: A History of the American Bookstore (Evan Friss). Of particular interest to me in the book was chapter 13, “Parnassus.” This is the story of Parnassus Bookstore in Nashville. Recently, Charlotte and I had the opportunity to visit this excellent bookstore for the first time.

3. Just listened to a conversation between Ray Ortlund, Sam Allberry, and Paul David Tripp on “Why Pastors Need Accountability.” Excellent!

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I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin

Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #121

Yes, it is 2025 . . . Learn to live well . . . Four valuable lessons that have really helped me . . . Especially for ministers and other church leaders . . . Etcetera

(I love this picture. Taken at Puckett’s in Columbia, Tn. Happy New Year!)

The List of Five

Yes, It is 2025

Today, I’m thinking about how grateful I am to be alive and loved by God.

Recently, Charlotte and I returned to the little town in Tennessee where we lived as a young married couple (long before children) and served a small church over four decades ago. We even saw our first house. While all of this took place long ago, it seems like it all just happened.

I love these words from writer Ann Patchett:

If all fairy tales begin “Once upon a time,” then all graduation speeches begin “When I was sitting where you are now.” We may not always say it, at least not in those exact words, but it’s what graduation speakers are thinking. We look out at the sea of you and think, Isn’t there some mistake? I should still be sitting there. I was that young fifteen minutes ago, I was that beautiful and lost. (What Now? Kindle Location 25)

Do you resonate with these words? Life passes so quickly. In the words of Patchett, “I was that young fifteen minutes ago.” It really does seem like “fifteen minutes ago” that I was a young husband and minister living in Pulaski, Tennessee in the late 1970s.

Yet, real life is not just what or who we were fifteen minutes ago. Real life is to live in harmony with who and what we are right now.

Today, I want to:

• Love God deeply. “Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who find great delight in his commands” (Ps. 112:1)

• Walk intentionally in God’s mission, anchoring my identity in Him rather than constructing a fragile facade of self-importance.

• Live with joy, moving forward with those whom I have been given to love and who love me.

Today, who are you becoming in the early days of this New Year?

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Learn to Live Well

How do you learn to live well? How do you and I learn to live so that we have more joy and fewer regrets?

A lot of us have hopes and dreams. Unfortunately, some of us can look through the rear view mirror of our lives and see the wreckage. Some may contribute to this wreckage through their own choices. Others may be deeply impacted by the actions of other people, beyond their own control.

One of the quiet tragedies occurs when a person remains stuck and rusts away. Still others seem to repeat one sentence again and again: “One day I am going to . . . “ Yet, they never take the next step. I know this trap well. I recall once saying this to a very good friend. At one point, he said to me, “Jim, I think someday is here.” He was right.

Instead of remaining in slow decay or stuck in wishful thinking, you and I can pursue wisdom.

Wisdom is applied knowledge. It is what we gain to help us navigate life. In an interview with Eugene Peterson, Tara Owens observed:

I desperately want wisdom but all that the world (and sometimes the church) seems to be offering me is more information. Where do I go to find those who can lead me into wisdom? Where should I look? (Conversations, Vol. 12.1, Spring/Summer 2014, p. 11)

Wisdom can help us discern and make better decisions. Wisdom can help us avoid behaviors and attitudes which could be detrimental to what we value and cherish.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise. (Ps. 111:10)

I would like for my next steps to reflect this kind of wisdom. What about you?

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Four Valuable Lessons That Have Made Really Helped Me

There are four lessons I have learned from lived experience. These four have helped shaped my journey:

1. Invest in what will make a significant difference. For example, be intentional about investing in your own spiritual formation. You and I were meant to become Christ-like. We have been called to be shaped and formed into the image of Jesus. Do I have soul-shaping habits and practices that will help me become more like Jesus?

2. Know that you will often have to either pay now or pay later. For example, if you shop impulsively, you may find yourself living beyond your means each month. Every bill eventually comes due. If you are like some people, you might prefer to ignore this, thinking that it will all work itself out. Yet, there can be a price for postponement. You can pay now (defer or postpone spending) or pay later. Wisdom helps us see that paying the price now can save us from a heavier burden later.

3. Deal with the issues in your own life. Far too often, we can speak like experts on others’ flaws while we ignore our own. Yet, the greatest power we have is in dealing with what we have control over - our own issues.

4. Know that too many people rust out instead of wear out. Some people quit long before the race is over. Life becomes about nostalgia instead of responsibly dealing with the challenges of the present. We were never meant to shut down before we die.

Is there a particular lesson you have learned which you carry with you each year?

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Especially for Ministers and Other Church Leaders

Many years ago, I travelled for the first time to Pepperdine University. I was there for the annual lectureship. This was my first time on the campus as well as the first time I had flown into Los Angeles. I remember well the wild cab ride from LAX to the campus. The driver drove fast, weaving in and out of traffic on the busy 405 Freeway. Finally, we arrived.

Ministry has sometimes seemed like this - a wild cab ride. Everything seems out of control and you wonder when the whole thing will finally crash!

I have learned some fundamental truths:

1. Ministry is much like marriage. A healthy marriage thrives on trust, through regular deposits of faithfulness. Your relationship with your congregation depends on deposits of integrity, reliability, and genuine care. Ministry skills are no substitute for making these kinds of intentional deposits.

2. Preaching and pastoral work cannot be separated. If you preach, know that much of the conversation after church, in your office, and over coffee/lunch may be an extension of your preaching. These pastoral conversations may be the soil where the message from Sunday takes root. These pastoral moments can be critical as the church knows you are there to help them with their questions and their burdens, long after the Sunday service is over.

3. The best kingdom servants embrace a life-time of spiritual formation. The growth needs to be spiritual, intellectual, and emotional. If you are not committed to growing, maturing, and developing, you can become stuck in your thinking and functioning. Ruth Haley Barton has said, “The best thing you bring to leadership is your own transforming self.” We are called to have a relentless desire to become more and more like Jesus.

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Etcetera

1. Keith Webb - “Seven Reasons I’ve Gone Back to a Paper Planner.”

2. Bobby Ross Jr. - “Weekend Plug-In Year In Review: The Best Religion Journalism Of 2024” (December 20, 2024)

3. One little prayer book that I have enjoyed for many years is The Little Book of Hours: Praying with the community of Jesus. Over the last year, I often read a page from The Book of Common Prayer (2019) early in the morning after I have done my Bible reading.

4. Adam Grant’s list interest’s me: “The 10 New Books to Feed Your Mind in 2025.” More than anything, it helps me to be aware of what is on Grant’s radar.

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I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.

I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.

Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin