The List of Five
When You Are Richly Blessed
We were still living in Waco, Texas. Very early one morning, I went to Providence Hospital to pray with a member of our congregation before his surgery. A few minutes after speaking and praying with this person, I got on the elevator, joining others who were going down.
The elevator was almost full. It stopped on the second floor where some got off and a few others got on, including a nurse and some hospital visitors. As the nurse stepped into the elevator, she saw a few other nurses, evidently friends. One of the nurses on the elevator softly said, “Hello” to the nurse who had just joined them. The nurse who had just entered turned around, facing the doors, and sighed deeply.
Another nurse softly said, “How has the morning been, Mary?” She again sighed and replied, “I’m blessed. I’m richly blessed.”
The elevator came to the ground floor. Several of the nurses got off and I heard one of them say “Yes! Me too. I’m richly blessed too.”
I have never forgotten this powerful moment.
Before I complain, before I gripe, and before I focus on what I am lacking, I want to first remember that I am so blessed.
Richly blessed!
Being a Parent: What We Attempted to Do
A few years ago, Charlotte and I made a list of some of the practices that we attempted to keep as parents. We have two wonderful daughters who we love deeply.
As a parent were (are) a work in progress. We learned much but also continue to learn. Ultimately, however, we prayed and depended on the grace of God.
What we attempted to do:
We tried to communicate that their identity was found in Jesus, not in being the children of a minister. We did not put pressure on them because they were the children of a minister.
We talked about our faith in God at home. We talked about God when the conversation was not related to church. We wanted them to know that we lived to serve and please God.
We tried to be consistent in what we taught our children through our words and example. Yes, this was challenging.
We attempted to communicate that our lives and our joy did not center around our children but were rooted in God.
We attempted to communicate basic godly virtues like honesty, truth-telling, etc. We tried to both model and teach these virtues.
We tried to communicate God’s care and concern for both of our children. We did this at bedtime when we prayed with them, the notes we gave them, etc.) Again and again, we told them: “You are deeply loved by God and us. You are just right.”
We worked to establish consistent habits. These included: reading Bible stories at bedtime, praying with them, and eating meals together at the table. We did not answer the phone at meals.
These are a few commitments we attempted to carry out with our children. We certainly didn’t have parenting figured out (nor do we now). No doubt you could add to such a list as you reflect upon your own practice with your children.
Being the father or mother of children can bring much joy. It can also be very hard and even painful at times.
At this point, in the life of your children, what is important? What practices or habits do you have in place, given the age and circumstance of your children, even if they are grown?
Becoming Trustworthy
If I want others to trust me, a good place to start is in becoming more and more trustworthy. Others learn they can trust me because I first have modeled a character that is trustworthy.
Perhaps the following suggestions will be helpful:
Demonstrate respect as you talk and interact with others. Start with your own family. For example, does my wife know that I respect her by the way I talk to her? Do my children know that I respect their mother by the way I talk to or about her?
Listen well. Do I really listen to my wife, my children, and co-workers? Do they feel as if I really listen? Listening intently communicates great respect.
Keep commitments. Do others know that I keep my commitments? Or, do they wonder if I will really follow through? We are more likely to trust someone who keeps their commitments with others.
Extend trust. Do I extend trust to others? Can others see that I actually trust them? Part of being a trustworthy person is a willingness to trust others.
Being trustworthy doesn’t happen by just talking about it, but by my behavior. It is not enough to talk to a family or one’s employees about trusting one another. Rather, a mom and dad or any other leader must embody trustworthiness. When we do this, we may find that others more deeply trust us.
Insights From Gordon MacDonald at 80 Years Old (Especially for ministers and other church leaders)
I read Gordon MacDonald’s books at a very formidable time in my life and ministry. A few years ago, Cary Nieuwhof interviewed MacDonald, then eighty years old, regarding insights and lessons learned. The following are a few of these:
Put the people you value most into your calendar first.
Never stop learning and growing!
The time will come when you will have to relinquish titles and privileges and slip into obscurity. Ultimately the obscurity of death. What kind of old person do you want to be?
Be trustworthy and dependable. Be a person who keeps his or her word. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.
Live modestly and stay free of debt. Be generous, develop a financial strategy for your future, and be wary of those who try to buy your favor.
Receive compliments, criticism, and counsel with humility and appreciation. Avoid whining, complaining, and self-pity. Assume there might be a grain of truth in the things critics say about you and your work.
Be quick to say with sincerity: “Thank you.” “Well done.” “I’m sorry.” “I forgive you.” “How can I help you?”
Always maintain a relationship with one or two mentors who can aid you in hearing God’s voice.
Master the art of asking the penetrating questions that open someone’s heart.
Retreat to the cross regularly. Express your appreciation. Name your sins. Pray for the world. Listen to God’s call to do things that are bigger than you.
Etcetera
Just read Memorial Days by Geraldine Brooks. This is such a vivid memoir of someone who has experienced sudden loss in a marriage. Written by a Pulitzer Prize winning author.
I just finished reading the book of Nehemiah. Wow. What a rich and powerful word from God. (Its actually been a long time since I have read this).
Trey and Lea Morgan were featured on the Focus on the Family podcast. Their marriage ministry is a significant work throughout the nation. You can see their interview here.
I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.
I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.
Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin
Thank you Sydney! I have great respect for you. I appreciate you.
Frank, thanks for your kind words. Would love to talk again. I enjoyed it!
Jim