Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #92
What has your attention? . . . The kind of person I want to be . . . A refreshing kindness . . . Fearing what others might think . . . Etcetera (listening and reading resources)
(Oklahoma granddaughter Elsie with her chickens - age 3)
The List of Five
What Has Your Attention?
My nine year old grandson, Lincoln, and I were in the car together. As we drove through the Memphis streets, he said, “Let’s play I spy.” He gave me hints as to what he was a looking at. He would say something like, “I see something you can’t see and it is green!” Then I would try to guess what he was seeing.
At one point, Lincoln said, “I see something you can’t see and it is something that adults love!”
As I drove, I looked at all that was around us. The car in front of us. The business we were passing. The pedestrian at the corner about to cross the street. I then glanced at the console between the seats where my phone was plugged in. “A phone?” I asked.
Lincoln said, “That’s it! That is what adults love.” He went on to say, “They are always looking at it and they go crazy if they can’t find it.”
This nine year old is paying attention.
Paying attention.
Maybe you and I would do well to be intentional about what we give our attention to.
A few suggestions:
Pay attention to the wise (Proverbs 7:4) Do you ask good questions when you are with someone who seems wise? Do you listen well?
Pay attention to God, Scripture, and prayer (I Timothy 4:12-16).
Pay attention to your life. What do you want your children and grandchildren to remember?
Pay attention to your soul. How wide is the gap between what is actually taking place in your heart and in your public self?
Pay attention to your spouse and children. How well do you listen?
One thing for sure. You and I are paying attention to something. And—- the object of our attention may reveal more than we might realize.
The Kind of Person I Want to Be
I loved her words!
This young woman in her twenties was going through a very challenging, painful time. However, she had just met a 97 year old man, who had gone through similar challenges fifty years earlier. She found in this gentleman both inspiration and encouragement. She was emotional as she spoke about this man:
“I see in him the kind of person I want to be.”
Is there someone like this in your life? Do you see in a particular woman or man the person you would like to be?
We may look at another and wish we had what this person possesses. “If only I had his wealth, his family, his status, etc.” You scroll through this person’s Instagram page and find yourself wishing you had that that luxury car, that yacht, or those clothes.
Yet, what if you were to look at another person and instead value the internal? What if you were to see in this person, the very person you want to be?
Austin Kleon has said that one of his most important questions is: “Will this enlarge or diminish me?” (Austin Kleon, February 5, 2022)
This is a very good question. Maybe you can think of times when you felt diminished by what you were giving your attention to:
Perhaps the person you focused on seemed consumed by his/her pursuit of more —- money, status, exotic travel, luxury cars, etc.
Maybe the person you focused on seemed to have a desperate craving for attention.
It could be this person has a status, a sense of importance, and affluence that made you long for the same.
A focus on such people may actually diminish who you are. You may eventually realize that you really aren’t moving toward the kind of person you have wanted to be.
Yet, it is possible to focus on a person who enlarges your compassion, strengthens your resolve, and enhances your character.
When you are with this person, you see the person you want to be.
A Refreshing Kindness
After seeing the aftermath of war and evil on the news, I find it refreshing to watch a few moments of kindness.
I love the video below as Steve Hartman tells the story of a few people who are making a difference through simple acts of kindness.
Fearing What Others Might Think (Especially for Ministers and Other Church Leaders)
We pulled up to the church building. This was our first visit to see a marriage therapist.
We were not in crisis. There was no scandal. No immorality. We were not on the verge of breaking up. No, none of that.
We were stuck.
We were a young couple and stuck in our relationship with ways of being and relating that were not working. We needed help.
That morning I was nervous. I was nervous, in part, because I anticipated the conversation with the therapist. I felt vulnerable, exposed, and inadequate.
Sometimes when you respond to God, you may be called to do something uncomfortable. When you are challenged to do the right thing, you may feel uneasy, uncertain, and nervous.
The “what if’s” of fear can cause us to worry more about how we might appear to others than who we are becoming.
What if I ask for help? Will others think I am weak?
What if I admit I do not know? Will others think I am not very smart?
What if I am not included in the ministry project? Will others think I don’t measure up?
What if I make a mistake? Will others see me as a failure?
Yet, ministers and church leaders often do their best ministry as they do what is difficult even though they may feel vulnerable and somewhat exposed. Admitting that one has a lot to learn and continues to grow are not indicators of weakness but evidence of strength.
Taking that one step and doing what is uncomfortable may just be the first step to getting unstuck. This may just be God’s Spirit nudging you to go forward and not remain in your fear.
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Etcetera (Reading and Listening Resources)
I have mentioned this book before but I really like Tom Nelson’s The Flourishing Pastor: Recovering the Lost Art of Shepherd Leadership.
I am also reading (thanks to Eric Davenport for this recommendation) — Ronald Rolheiser’s Sacred Fire: A Vision for a Deeper Human and Christian Maturity.
I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee.
Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin