Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #9
This “golden hour should not be wasted” - John Dickerson - 60 minutes, April 19, 2020. At the close of the program, he said:
“When we say someone grew up during the Depression, we're referring to qualities as much as an era: Thrift, resilience, deferred gratification.
Shared hardship changed the country's values.
What will endure from this era? We praise teachers, first responders, doctors, nurses and others -- for what they do and what they represent. Will this fade?Not if we don't let the praise drop. Not if we commit to a future worthy of their present sacrifice.
"This golden hour should not be wasted" – that's how author Amanda Ripley put it. Golden hour is that perfect moment of light before sunset. In New York this spring, it coincides with the time clapping for health care workers ends. This generation's mission: To preserve the golden hour.”
Let us navigate life well during this “golden hour.”
The List of Five
Deal With Anxiety
(Take away: being aware of your own anxiety and the anxiety of others can help significantly as you navigate your life)
Author and podcaster, Steve Cuss, was a recent guest on Cary Nieuwhof’s podcast. Cuss is the author of Managing Leadership Anxiety. Much of the discussion revolved around dealing with one’s own anxiety both as an individual and as a leader. I encourage you to listen to this.
Below are a few quotes by Steve Cuss from the discussion. These reflections are helpful as I think about the anxiety within me and the anxiety within others that can greatly impact me:
Anxiety is always contagious in any group. And the most anxious person in the room has the most power.
Ambiguity is always a source of anxiety. And for most type A leaders, not knowing what to do, particularly if people are asking you to do something, you're going to be more anxious.
Most leaders are prone to action, so when we're anxious, we act more.
Anxiety spreads the way a virus spreads. It's highly contagious, and the only antidote is a leader who is able to walk into an anxious situation with calm presence.
Chronic anxiety shows up when you don't get what you think you need that you don't really need.
All leadership is some form of vulnerable experience.
We can easily be in the grip of chronic anxiety or we can be in the grip of the unconditional love of God. It is very difficult to be in the grip of both.
Pursue Resilience and Avoid Burnout
(Take away: in the video below, Tim Keller offers practical suggestions for maintaining resilience)
According to Tim Keller, the following are important if you are going to be resilient in this difficult time instead of burning out. (Thanks to my friend, Dr. Mike Williams, for sharing this video with me.)
Extraordinary Prayer
Resilience without Stoicism
Radical Refocusing
Gospel Resolve
“Søren was convinced that his individual relationship with God was a radical choice. As he put it, faith is an either-or. It is either God or—well, the rest does not matter.” (Karen Wright Marsh, The Startling Prayer Life of Soren Kierkegaard)
Be Intentional in Order to Stay Fresh and Alive
(Take away: if we are going to thrive over the long haul, let us explore what it means to live intentionally each day)
Many of us are very busy, overcommitted, and perhaps overwhelmed. Yet, it is important that we be intentional in order to stay fresh and alive.
The following reflections might be helpful. I wrote this recently as I reflected on my own life.
1. Today, maybe I can begin my day with a word from Jesus - "Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God, believe also in me" (John 14:1).
2. Today, maybe I can take a deep breath and remember that the Spirit of God lives in me and will give me power beyond myself to get through this day.
3. Today, maybe I can ponder the many, specific reasons for which I can be grateful. (Even the quietness of this morning and the cup of coffee in front of me.)
4. Today, I can act with restraint. I don't have to yell. I don't have to complain. I don't have to say something nasty because I am frustrated. I don't have to do this.
5. Today, I can lighten someone's load. I can speak calmly. I can smile at those with whom I have contact. I can make the day easier for my spouse, my children, my parents, my co-workers, my friends.
You may not need any of these reminders. Or, maybe you are like me and you need all the help you can get!
Habits that can help you stay fresh.
Invest in Your learning. Nothing will help you more than learning to cultivate your curiosity. Read. Listen to good podcasts. Take an online class. Ask good questions.
Pray the Psalms. For a time, I read five Psalms aloud each morning and used them to help me pray. With my yellow highlighter, I underlined every word that described a name of God, a characteristic of God, or something God did. This practice greatly enriched my prayer life as I found myself praying for what I otherwise would not. Today, I still read at least one Psalm each morning, along with other Scriptures.
Invest in your emotional health. Deal with your emotions as Paul admonishes us in Ephesians 4:31: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” When we don’t pay attention to our emotional state, we may find that we experience the following:
We may become very demanding people.
We may develop a pattern of manipulating others.
We may become quick-tempered, exploding at times at people whom we care about.
We may live with constant anxiety that we are going to lose the approval of others.
Invest in relationships. Connect with a few people who contribute something positive and life-giving to your life. Who adds energy and vitality to your life?
“Father in Heaven! Help us never forget that you are love. This conviction will triumph in our hearts, even if the coming day brings inquietude, anxiety, fright or distress.” (Soren Kierkagaard)
Take Care of Your Emotional Self
(Take away: it is critical that you and I invest in our emotional health if we are going to be healthy persons who will serve from the overflow)
I asked three friends, each a mental health professional, to speak about taking care of our own emotional health, particularly in an anxious season like the COVID-19 pandemic. These reflections are valuable.
In a time like this, it is important for emotional health that each one of us put the needs of others first. In counseling, we often focus on the individual(s) in front of us. We are their ally, their advocate. A good therapist wants their clients to succeed. However, a theme that I have noticed from clients who have succeeded is that of humility. This may seems counterintuitive, but it’s simply countercultural. People are the healthiest when they put the other people in their life in front. An important part of being emotionally healthy is to not focus on our own wants and needs, but on how we can serve the wants and need of others. How tragic that someone would not experience the joy brought to another by honoring their needs above our own. It is important to ask, “how can I sacrifice and put myself last in this situation?” — Dr. Heath Willingham, Chair, Graduate Counseling Programs, Faulkner University (Montgomery, Alabama)
In a time like this, it is important for emotional health that each one of us trusts the wisdom of our bodies. It's incredibly important to become aware of how we are feeling, and then to do the hard work past this point of feeling our feelings and expressing them. Nothing that we are feeling right now is weird or crazy. We are all navigating a collective trauma and it is only natural that we are reacting in some way to this. Engage in self-care with intentionality. This is not a time to hope that rest and rejuvenation will come our way. We must seek it out, plan for it, and make it happen. And lastly, engage in self-compassion. We are all doing the best we can, even as we may not be the best version of ourselves. There is room for this. Take that room for yourself and give that room to others. — Dr. Archandria Owens, Licensed Psychologist (Memphis, Tennessee)
In a time like this, it is important for emotional health that each one of us practices good self-care by setting boundaries on our own screen time, exercising more to release anxiety build up, and taking deep, cleansing breaths.
It is important to stop 'shoulding' ourselves. Take that word out of your vocabulary. That one little words leads to exhaustion while we are sitting on the couch. If you 'should' do it, then do and quit talking about it. If you know you aren't really going to do, take it off you 'to do' list.
Practice gratitude to others and to yourself. Example: "That was really brave and that was really hard. Thank you for showing up and getting that done!" That isn't pride. That is survival! — Beverly Ross, MA, LPC-S, Founder and Executive Director of Wise County Christian Counseling (Decatur, Texas)
Resources
I recently discovered Common Good magazine. This publication is published by madetoflourish.org. This issue was particularly focused on the Christian in business. Some great articles!
I love this video series, Reading in Exile, by Dr. Russell Moore, Moore is a theologian who really knows how to communicate well. I especially appreciate how widely he reads.
You might enjoy The Startling Prayer Life of Soren Kierkegaard by Karen Wright Marsh and Coping with coronavirus anxiety: Four lessons from Søren Kierkegaard by Brian Rosner.
Each Friday/Saturday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other church leaders as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.
Jim Martin serves as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find him at God-Hungry.org. His e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful.
