Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #88

What you & I can learn from a child . . . When you are weary . . . Ten street smarts you may find helpful . . . A better way to do ministry (especially for ministers & church leaders) . . . Etcetera

The List of Five

What You and I Can Learn from a Child

We have four grandchildren, ages 3-12. (The two above are our oldest grandchildren.) Children can be refreshing because they lack the self consciousness you and I know so well. They don’t worry a lot about how they might appear to others.

I love this quote by P. J. Harvey in the New Yorker:

I think children are also the most brilliant artists, don’t you? There’s nothing more perfect than a child’s drawings. In order to create work, I often have to try and reach back to that open-mindedness, I suppose, and the naïveté that children have. Things pour out of them in such a natural way. I keep trying to get closer to that.

When I look at my four grandchildren, I wish I were more like them:

1. I want to be less self-conscious. I want to be less concerned about how I might appear or look to others and simply be present with another.

2. I want to express my love and affection more spontaneously. One young grandson will come into the room and say, “group hug!” meaning that he wants everyone to hug him at the same time. I hear “I love you” at various times from each of our grandchildren. I want to express my love and care more often to those who matter most to me.

3. I want to experience the joy of play more often. Children love to play. The games and activities may vary, but they do play. Like many adults, I can become focused on accomplishment, the “to-do”list, productivity, etc. Too many times, I have missed the simple joy of being playful.

But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come tome, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these (Luke 18:16)

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When You Are Weary

I woke up at 3:00 AM and felt an overwhelming sense of dread.

My mind raced ahead as I thought about work. I considered all I had to do that day. I thought about problems over which I had no control. I felt tired - even weary.

Does this sound familiar?

You may like your job. Yet, work can be exhausting. One writer expressed the feeling of weariness this way:

I am weary of the adversity, weary of the relentless expectations, and weary of not having a life of my own outside the organization. I am weary of explaining things over and over and weary of acting cheery and positive when I feel tired and confused (Richard Kriegbaum, Leadership Prayers, p. 55).

Late one afternoon, I was in the men’s department of a Dillard’s department store. There was no sales clerk present. I stood in the aisle looking across the store. I could only see three or four sales clerks on the entire floor of this large department store.

Finally, a man in his thirties came over from another department to ask me if I needed help. He looked weary.

Perhaps you can relate. A co-worker leaves or is “let go” and you are told that the person will not be replaced. In fact, the person’s job responsibilities will now be divided between you and another person. You already felt overwhelmed by all that you have to do at work. Now even more responsibility has been added to your plate. You may feel like you are on a treadmill that only seems to go faster with no “stop” button.

I love this prayer regarding weariness

I’m worn out, God. My spirit is weary. I need your renewing strength (Leadership Prayers, p. 53).

What increases weariness at work?

1. You feel under appreciated and taken for granted.

2. You may feel undermined by other employees who clamor to get what they want at work, even resorting to manipulation.

3. You continually face unrealistic deadlines. Your boss says often, “I need to have this by tomorrow.” You find yourself staying at work later and later. In the meantime, you miss dinners with your family and feel less connected with one or more of your children.

4. You have certain responsibilities imposed on you without anyone asking for your input.

Where to begin:

1. Acknowledge your weariness. Instead of pretending that “It’s all good,” acknowledge that you are tired, weary or even exhausted. There is nothing weak about doing this.

2. Realize that you have limits. Our bodies, minds, and emotions have limits. That may be humbling but it is true! Far too often, we push ourselves beyond what is reasonable and healthy then pretend this really doesn’t effect us.

3. Meditate on Scriptures that remind you of God’s provision (Ps. 23; Isa. 40:29 & many more).

“He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; he offers strength to the weak” (Isaiah 40:29).

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Ten Street Smarts You May Find Helpful

The following are ten “street smarts” that may be helpful to you.  Consider what you might add to this list.

1. Start.  John Acuff was right in his book, Start.  Sometimes you just need to start, even if it seems small.  Start doing what you have put off.  Start doing what you know you need to do.  Start doing before you have it all figured out.

2. Beware of toxic people in your life.  These toxic people can drain the life out of you.  This may be your ex-husband, a neighbor, or someone at church.  Some will stoop to most any level of behavior in order to get their egos stroked.  This calls for wisdom and care in dealing with such people.

3. Pray.  Listen to children pray.  They pray without being self-conscious.  Prayer is a reminder that all of life is larger than yourself and each one of us desperately needs to live in dependence on God.

4. Show up.  Think about those people in your life who are important to you.  Is there an event in their lives that calls for your presence?  Simply showing up and being present at funerals, weddings, showers, and receptions can be so important. These occasions matter to the people involved.

5. Make the effort to remember names.  You might say, “Oh I’m bad with names.”  We can, however, make an effort. Remember that most of us love to hear our name.

6. Get over yourself.  To some, competency seems to suggest that simple trusting faith is no longer necessary.  Growing in knowledge does not mean that you get to depend on God less while you control others more (Zack Eswine, The Imperfect Pastor, p. 113).  I have known people so insecure that they were offended when others asked someone else for help, rather than themselves.

7. Don’t quit the first time you hit a wall.  Marriage can be hard.  Raising children can be hard. Work can be hard. Ministry can be hard.  Yet, hitting a wall does not mean that something is wrong.  Anything that is important is bound to be hard at times.  Pray for the grace you need to persevere.

8. Get focused.  One day I saw a car speeding across the freeway while the driver was texting.  Some of us don’t text while driving, but we are nevertheless distracted, while we dart from one attention demanding moment to the next.  People who are focused put a value on the discipline it takes to pay attention.

9. Learn.  There are some who perceive themselves to be so knowledgable and smart that they have become smug and self-assured.  This is not exactly a learning posture.  Quiet often smugness can be an attempt to mask another’s fear and insecurity.

10. Laugh.  Enjoy the laughter of children.  Laugh with them!  One little boy said to his mother not long ago when they were playing, “Mom, I just love to hear you laugh!”  Laugh at yourself (most of us have plenty of material to work with). However, stay away from the mocking, condescending laugh.  You’ve met that person.  He says something snide, hurtful, and condescending and then mockingly laughs.  Such laughter is designed to hurt.  Its intent is to demean and destroy the confidence and strength of another.  This is beneath the dignity of a child of God.

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A Better Way to Do Ministry (Especially for Ministers and Church Leaders)

When Christian leaders are not regularly nourished, burnout can be the result. A parched soul can lead to a ministry where we continue to serve left-overs (a few minutes sermon preparation on ChatGPT) to a congregation who desperately need Jesus.

Yet, some may try to do ministry by sheer willpower.

I know. I tried.

If you are young and have high energy, you may attempt to do ministry by grit and hard work. It may seem to work for awhile. Yet, eventually ministry begins to feel like you are pushing a car uphill. You grit your teeth and work to accomplish the “to do” list. Yet, there is no longer any sense that you are drinking from strong and deep spiritual wells.

Sometimes instead of drinking from deep wells, we get focused on aspects of ministry that can be intoxicating.

The demands of life and ministry can become intoxicating.  Ministers know what it means to be fueled by an adrenaline rush that results from feeling needed and important. Perhaps I am at DFW Airport walking from one gate to the next. My friend sees me and asks where I am going:

“I just spoke at Pepperdine and am on my way to speak in Houston tonight. I’ve got to be back home, tomorrow afternoon for a funeral.”

While this pace may sound exhausting to some, it can also be intoxicating! I may feel important and needed.

The pressures of life and ministry can become intoxicating.  There may be no sense of rest, silence or recreation.  Instead, we find ourselves thriving on the pressure. I have a sermon to prepare, a meeting in the afternoon, and a family in crisis who just called. A minister may feel exhausted but then resort to more caffeine and more hurry.

The appearance of spirituality can become intoxicating.  We can put tremendous energy into creating the illusion that we are spiritual people. We may find ourselves talking about spiritual formation and referring to spiritual formation books, while at the same time paying little attention to Jesus on a daily basis. Yet, it can be intoxicating when others perceive me to be the most spiritual person in the room.

This intoxication is deadly.

Could it be that we need to focus on becoming filled with the Spirit and absolutely intoxicated with a passion, love and adoration of God himself!

Remember these words in Ephesians 5:18 (NLT):

Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit,

A. W. Tozer once said,

What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.

May those of us who are ministers allow God to nourish and water our own parched souls.

May we repent of our idolatry - our dependance on the rush or intoxication of the self, instead of seeking God.

May our minds be filled with the Spirit of God, giving us life, in congregations that desperately need life themselves.

May God help us all.

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Etcetera (Listening and Reading Resources)

1. See this fine article, “When Leaders Fall” by Brian Harris.” Brian served for 17 years as principal of Perth’s Vose Seminary (Perth, Australia). In 2021 he became the founding director of the AVENIR Leadership Institute.

2. From Faith and Leadership, Mark Gornik has written “Tim Keller’s final seminar” (May 25, 2023).

3. In Korn Ferry, Mark Royal has written a good article, “5 Ways to Remotivate Yourself.” I like his major points!

4. See this outstanding article by David Brooks, “Hey, America, Grow Up!” in The New York Times, August 10, 2023.

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I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee.

Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin