Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #85
What helps me when I feel discouraged . . . Your thinking matters . . . The lunch meeting I remember . . . When you are growing . . . Etcetera (watching and reading resources.
The List of Five
What Helps Me When I Feel Discouraged
There are some days when I feel discouraged. Often, these times are related to a difficult event or situation. Or, what I am feeling seems to be the culmination of various difficult incidents stacked on top of one another.
Yet, I generally feel more encouraged than discouraged. Perhaps some of this is just the way I am wired. However, there have been a few seasons of my life which have been very hard. These painful seasons took time to navigate.
The practices below have helped me. This is not a quick fix or a to-do list to make everything better. See this as a place to begin. Perhaps you have your own list.
Reading Scripture daily is important and helpful to me. For example, I once spent a few months reading the Psalms, highlighting in yellow, every attribute of God and every action of God. I was amazed by what I saw. The Psalms are saturated with God! I found this tremendously reassuring!
Prayer is an important part of living in the presence of God. I find that prayers of dependance and praying the Psalms can be life-giving.
I find it helpful to go outside, even for a few minutes, and notice the sounds, the surroundings, and the people.
Being fully present with another person can provide a connection that blesses. Being present allows me to listen and see life through another’s eyes. I often leave such a conversation with a better perspective on my own problems and concerns.
Time spent with my children or grandchildren can be invigorating. Recently, I spent two hours in our neighbor’s swimming pool with several young grandchildren. I spent the entire time throwing several wet rubber balls at them. They simply wanted to play and squealed with delight whenever they were hit by the balls. Small children are often refreshing as they are unassuming and without pretense.
I find it helpful to smile at someone even when I don’t feel like it. (When I am tense or troubled, this may be the last thing I feel like doing.) I also find it helpful to watch funny videos or remember funny stories - anything that makes me laugh.
I try to be more selective regarding who I spend time with. When I spend too much time with people who are constantly negative and cynical, I feel completely drained. On the other hand, being in the presence of those who tend to be thankful and joyful can be energizing.
I attempt to be aware of how my body feels in view of stress I am experiencing. Do I feel pressure in my forehead or a tightness in my shoulders? Stress often shows up in our bodies somewhere. One of the best things I can do is to exercise at the gym, walk, and simply move about.
It can be helpful to focus on the many reasons I can be grateful. I list some of my blessings, both large and small. I know it may sound trite, but simply listing these blessings can help alter my pessimistic, negative thinking.
Writing in my journal is helpful. I am often surprised by what I write as I reflect on my life, work, and ministry. Sometimes I don’t realize what I have been thinking until I see what I have written.
This is no quick fix. However, I have found that when I am discouraged, it helps to have an intentional response. Perhaps you have your own list of what is helpful to you. What helps you, may vary from the list I just shared. What is important is that you and I respond with actions that can point us in the right direction.
Your Thinking Matters
The visiting minister preached at an area-wide gathering in North Alabama. Afterward, we talked for a few minutes. I was a young husband, father, and minister. He was an older, well respected minister. He asked if I would like to run with him very early the next morning.
We ran a few miles and then walked. He asked what I was reading. I mentioned a book or two and then spoke about an article I had recently read. The article was a caustic, negative piece condemning a number of church leaders.
His response was very direct. “Jim, don’t put that negative stuff in your mind. It’s no good and will only bring you down.” He was right. As I thought about the article I had to admit there was nothing in it that was instructive or redemptive.
I never forgot that moment. What I put into my mind matters. My thinking matters.
In recent years, I have been thinking about this conversation in light of social media. I have not always used the best judgement regarding what I read. For example, there are a few people whom I will occasionally read on social media and then regret doing so. After reading such posts, I sometimes feel irritated, defensive, or inadequate in my ministry.
Not long ago, I read a post written by a person who often sounds as if he is the only one who “gets it.” Later, I asked myself, “Why read something that only leaves me agitated?”
For instance, does reading this particular author’s posts on social media . . .
. . . tend to make me feel anxious and troubled?
. . . tend to ignite the desires of my flesh?
. . . tend to make me feel hostility and hatred toward others?
. . . tend to make me feel small and insignificant?
I don’t blame my phone. My phone has helped me stay in contact with many people. I am grateful for the convenience of being able to call or text another person. At times, it has given me access to articles, posts, and many helpful documents. Regardless, I still need to consider what I put into my mind.
There are some people who tend to bless, help, and inspire me. There are others whom I probably need to avoid.
I want to choose wisely. How about you?
The Lunch Meeting I Remember
I went to lunch with a young businessman for the very first time. We met at a pizza place in Waco. We sat down and ordered. He began to talk. One hour later, he was still talking, non-stop.
He was not talking about his job, his marriage, or his life. He was not talking about his relationships, his children, or his problems.
He spent one hour talking, with great certainty, about his new view of the Bible and all that is within it.
During the hour, he did not ask one single question or even say, “How are you?” Finally, I interrupted him and explained that I needed to return to the office for an appointment (truthfully).
That lunch was memorable. I thought about this recently after reading the excerpt below:
Likewise, train yourself to listen to individuals from diverse backgrounds, including chauffeurs, maids, janitors, children, friends, etc. While you may believe you possess comprehensive knowledge, everyone carries unique life experiences that can offer valuable insights and lessons worth learning from.
Hence, irrespective of who you meet, embrace the mindset of “tell me more.” Always be genuinely interested in people. Inquire about them — therefore, you’ll be able to gain more knowledge beyond what you could acquire solely by talking about yourself. (Noorain Ali, “You Still Have 6 Months Left in 2023, Do These 5 Things Daily (to Become Unstoppable” May 31, 2031)
The truth is that you and I can learn from all kinds of people. However, it may take some effort. For some, it may mean talking less and listening more. It may mean refusing to monopolize a conversation or meeting and instead focusing on asking good questions and listening well.
Before a conversation, I might ask:
What can I ask about this person’s life or family?
What can I ask about this person’s work?
What can I ask about this person’s thinking, or perspective?
The questions you ask will be shaped by the person you are meeting, the purpose for meeting, and even the environment. Yet, consider how you might bless or encourage someone by simply asking questions that reflect your genuine interest in them.
When You Are Growing (Especially for Ministers and Other Church Leaders)
Historian Jon Meacham once referred to a presidential historian who said that Lincoln “grew” into the office of President. Meacham went on to say that such a comment is often “code” for saying that the person came to see things the way I do.
I have heard the same phrase used in regard to young ministers. Someone might say that this young minister grew into the role. However, sometimes it sounds like the person is actually saying that this young minister came to see things the way I do.
I am in contact with a lot of ministers. Many of them are young ministers. I do not measure their growth or maturity by whether or not they share the same opinions as me. At the same time, it is important that any minister, regardless of age, be serious about growing.
There are many ways a minister might grow:
A minister may grow due to tragedy, suffering, or pain of some kind.
A minister may grow due to intentional learning, reading, and good thinking.
A minister might grow due to therapy where he deals with emotional challenges or trauma from the past.
A minister may grow through daily prayer, Scripture reading, and paying attention to other spiritual disciplines.
A minister may grow by simply paying attention to the soul. Am I feeding my soul?
As you think about your own growth, your ministry and the ministry of Jesus, consider the following:
17 You see, we are not like the many hucksters[a] who preach for personal profit. We preach the word of God with sincerity and with Christ’s authority, knowing that God is watching us (2 Corinthians 2:17).
You and I are called to serve others, rather than to be self-serving. How often do we think about whether a new opportunity is an advancement for ourselves instead of how we might serve?
You and I are called to speak with sincerity. We are not called to speak with a personal agenda hidden in the background.
You and I are called to recognize Christ’s authority. We are not to let our desires and preferences determine what we do or say.
Most ministers I know “have learned” and “are learning.” Ministers, even the youngest of ministers, have learned something. However, it is important that ministers be constantly learning - regardless of age or years of experience.
Etcetera - (Watching and Reading)
I have been reading Robert Gottlieb’s, Avid Reader: A Life. Gottlieb is the former editor of The New Yorker and long time book editor. Gottlieb, who recently died, worked with many authors, editing a variety of literature. Also see in the Paris Review, “Robert Gottlieb: The Art of Editing Number 1” Issue 132, Fall 1994.
Note the work of Robert Caro (LBJ’s biographer and his editor Robert Gottlieb). Their fascinating work relationship is featured in a documentary entitled, Turn Every Page: The Adventures of Robert Caro and Robert Gottlieb.
I recently began reading Scot McKnight’s The Second Testament. I have only just begun reading Matthew but am enjoying this fresh translation of the NT.
I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee.
Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin
Another great one, brother. You encourage me. Your transparency and your illustrations are beautiful. Thank you for your investment of time in encouraging others. I am one of those "older" "experienced" preachers, but still growing. Though I am retired, I am still ministering on a daily basis. I just don't get paid for it with dollars any longer. And that is ok. You are a blessing. Love and respect you.
Thanks, as always. It seems like you know just what I need to hear in each Encouragement Note. I'm grateful for you.