Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #84
The key to living a beautiful life . . . Don't listen to these internal voices . . . The daddy I want to be . . . Five minutes of pure joy with Tim Keller . . . Etcetera (watching and reading)
(Arc De Triomphe - Paris)
The List of Five
The Key to Living a Beautiful Life
On occasion, I have been with a Christ-follower who leaves me thinking, “I want to be like this person!” At other times, an entire community of Christ-followers has left me inspired and encouraged. The gospel-centered life displays a beauty that is compelling.
I appreciate the following words written by Biola University President, Barry H. Corey (“The Ethos of Biola as a Confessionally Centered University” April 20, 2018).
Holding to our center with resolve does not mean we area harsher or meaner or more competitive. Quite the opposite. Holding firmly to our center frees us to be more loving and generous as we share in the glorious wholeness of a gospel-centered life.
I am not saying that by being centered we have no boundaries. We do. By boundaries, I mean we have clear theological perimeters. These doctrinal statements are our boundaries, but our well is God’s Word, or Christ as God’s Word made flesh. . . . We should be here because within our boundaries we love the beautiful vision for life our center calls us to.
I was in my twenties, serving as a minister for a small church in middle Tennessee. We had no church building but instead leased a former convenience store on the edge of town. On a good Sunday, we might have 70 people. I was a young man, a young husband, and a young minister with so much to learn.
Yet, in this little church, I did learn that Jesus could redeem the brokenness in our lives. There were sweet moments when I saw some of these people display a certain beauty, living in ways that reflected love and generosity to others. There were also moments when we seemed to display our unredeemed brokenness. Those occasions were not pretty and could be such an unpleasant sight.
Only Jesus can make us into a people who display a gospel-centered beauty. Corey reminds us of the importance of the “center” of the Gospel. In fact, holding to this center actually frees us to be more loving and generous as we engage one another in the world.
We are called to hold to the very center of our faith, Jesus, who died, was buried and rose again. This center will stand the test of time. As we cling to the center, we are called to live out our faith before the world.
Today, as you and I begin our day:
May we hold to the center, and have the clarity to see where we are enslaved to our flesh, captivated by an idol, or seduced by the world. Know that these enslavements will bring us down (Romans 6:17).
May we become more loving and generous with others.
May we drink deep from the “well.” May we believe that only Jesus will give us life and quench our thirst (Ps. 143:6 and 145:16).
Don’t Listen to These Internal Voices
Sometimes, we listen to the wrong internal voices. These voices can fill your mind with doubt, anxiety, and confusion. You may repeat internally, again and again, what was said to you years ago.
Consider some of the following voices from within:
“I am not attractive enough. My husband has made some very critical remarks about my body and appearance. I can’t get his words out of my mind.”
“If only I had been given a few breaks like my friend, I would have a much more fulfilling life. I guess I am doomed to never really experiencing joy.”
“I probably can’t do it. I have trouble following through. I’m not very smart. I don’t learn new things very easily.”
“I’m stupid. My ex-husband told me for years that I don’t get it. I guess there is something wrong with me.”
These voices can fill you with you with self-doubt and self-loathing. I think about the young wife and mother who looks beaten down and defeated. Her husband is highly impressed with himself even as he criticizes his wife, almost daily. In many ways he communicates that she just doesn’t measure up.
Meanwhile, hear these encouraging words from the one who knows our true value:
You are dearly loved and cherished by God, now and for the rest of your life (Col. 3:12).
You are valuable to God. You were just as valuable to him when you are a child as you are now. Your value has not diminished as you age.
You are precious to God. Yes, right now.
3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. (1 Peter 3:3-4 - NLT)
You and I are worth far more than we might ever imagine. These internal voices do not reflect or determine our worth.
What counts is the value given to us by God.
The Daddy I Want to Be
We were on vacation and passing through Cherokee, North Carolina. Our two children were small and we had just stopped at a park to eat a picnic lunch. We were at a picnic table eating when we heard a loud commotion from across the park.
A man was standing at a picnic table where his family was seated. He was obviously upset and was screaming at one of the children. Everyone in the park seemed to freeze for a moment. Heads turned from the various tables toward this screaming daddy. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know why he was so upset with his child. I can only imagine how humiliating this moment might have been for this boy. I knew that I never wanted to be this kind of daddy.
Charlotte and I have two grown daughters. We also have a terrific son-in-law who is more like a son to us.
I have learned much about being a daddy. I have also become more aware that I still have much to learn.
One of the most powerful ways a father impacts his children is through the way he treats his wife, their mother. These impressionable children have a front row seat to witness how a Christian father values and cherishes their mother.
Yet, some boys and girls grow up seeing their daddy do the following:
They hear their daddy talk to their mother in a way that is condescending and dismissive.
They hear their daddy speak to their mother as if she lacked intelligence.
They witness their daddy attempt use the children to manipulate their mother.
They hear their daddy call their mother demeaning names.
They see their daddy laugh as he makes fun of their mother. He excuses his small, juvenile humor as “just joking.”
They witness their daddy treat their mother as if she had little worth or value.
These behaviors are not Christ-honoring. They are not even manly. These behaviors reveal a father who is actually very weak, insecure, and self-absorbed. Some of these men continue to be little boys in adult bodies. They are small and immature.
On the other hand, there are many, many men who are very serious about living as godly men before their spouses and children. They (along with their spouses) are a precious gift to their children.
With these daddies, children have the following rich experiences:
They hear their daddy speak to their mother with tenderness and affection. He obviously cherishes her.
They see their daddy live as a servant toward their mother instead of being self-absorbed. He obviously has a servant heart toward her.
They see their daddy build up and affirm their mother. He obviously looks for what is good in her.
They overhear their daddy speak of their mother with great value. He obviously esteems her.
This is the kind of daddy I want to be. What about you? Whether a dad or mom, we have a rich opportunity to make a kingdom difference.
Five Minutes of Pure Joy with Tim Keller (Especially for ministers and other church leaders)
Etcetera (Watching and Reading)
Don’t miss this wonderful video (2:33) which is a powerful reminder of the importance of appreciation. It could be that someone near you and me needs a good dose of appreciation
I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee.
Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin