Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #39

Aug 16, 2021

Hopefully you will find something encouraging here. This is certainly my intention. Perhaps you were “let go” from your last job. Maybe you went through a divorce. Maybe you had a difficult health scare. Your business may have failed. Or, perhaps you experienced heartache with one of your children. These situations are hard for anyone. Yet, some seem to have resilience. They go through hard times and yet manage, by the grace of God, to move ahead. I hope the following is helpful to you.

(Jon Tyson - Unsplash)

The List of Five

The Secret to Building Resilience

Recently, I read an excellent article in the Harvard Business Review entitled, “The Secret to Building Resilience” by Rob Cross, Karen Dillon, and Danna Greenberg, (January 29, 2021). See this summary:

The ability to bounce back from setbacks is often described as the difference between successful and unsuccessful people. Resilience has been shown to positively influence work satisfaction and engagement, as well as overall well-being, and can lower depression levels. But resilience isn’t just a kind of solitary internal “grit” that allows us to bounce back. New research shows that resilience is also heavily enabled by strong relationships and networks. We can nurture and build our resilience through a wide variety of interactions with people in our personal and professional lives. These interactions can help us to alter the magnitude of the challenge we’re facing. They can help crystalize the meaningful purpose in what we are doing or help us see a path forward to overcome a setback — these are the kinds of interactions that motivate us to persist. Are your relationships broad and deep enough to help support you when you hit setbacks?

I found this article helpful as it focuses on how important our relationships are to our resilience. The article closes with two suggestions regarding how we might be intentional with relationships that can help with resilience:

First, we can broaden existing relationships by for example, exploring non-work interests with a teammate or strengthening mutually beneficial relationships with influential work colleagues that help us push back.
Second, we can initiate engagement with new groups or people to cultivate important elements of resilience. . .

Share Jim Martin's Encouragement Note

I would love to hear from you about how you managed to get through such a difficult pandemic year. What was particularly difficult? What did you do that helped? Did you have certain habits or practices (such as some of the spiritual disciplines) which were helpful? What roles did other people play in your resilience? Please let me hear from you at: jmartin9669@gmail.com

Before You Quit

This was a tough season. I was a junior at the University of North Texas. I lived in Denton but worked 5 nights a week at United Parcel Service in North Dallas.

In many ways I had little direction and felt somewhat lost. At the time, school was frustrating and seemed purposeless. Along with other courses, I was taking an English literature class that was difficult, both the subject matter and the professor. The professor seemed to be unhappy. I’m not sure he really enjoyed teaching literature to a group of university students. In some ways, this class sort of became a catalyst for my decision to quit.

Outside of class, I was lonely, unmotivated, and unsure about what to do after graduation. One day I skipped my classes and drove to Dallas to check out other possibilities. With no clear plan or purpose, I drove to three different locations and had conversations exploring other options.

I talked with an administrator at a school for radio announcers. At one point, the interviewer told me how long it would take to earn a livable salary. He explained that many graduates work for small stations in small markets for a long time. He was trying to be helpful since he knew that I had grown up in Dallas, with its large market, and that my expectations probably needed to be adjusted. He was right. I drove away somewhat discouraged.
Later, I talked with a recruiter at a vocational school, which specialized in electronics. That didn’t seem to fit.
In the afternoon, I had a preliminary interview with the Dallas Police Department. They were hiring and I thought “Why not?” I was interviewed by a police sergeant, an African-American man in his late 40s, with gray hair and a weathered face.
He looked at my application and then at me. He said, “Son why would you quit school with only a year and a half left?” (I really didn’t have a good answer to that one.) He then said, “Why don’t you stay in school, graduate, and then if you are still interested, you can come back and see me.” His words made sense. I finished school and graduated.

As I think about this time in my life, I am grateful for the words of this man and others. However, I do wish that I had sought counsel much earlier regarding my thoughts and frustrations with school. Instead, I kept all of this in my head, trying to figure this out by myself. (This would certainly not be the last time that I would attempt to go it alone.)

Sooner or later, you and I may think about leaving. You may wonder if you shouldn’t leave your job, your church, or your ministry. You may ask yourself, “Is it time to leave?” There may be some very legitimate reasons for leaving. For example, one could leave a situation for an opportunity that is a better fit or for one’s own growth.

However, before leaving anything, I hope I might do at least some of the following:

I want to seek the counsel of a few wise, godly people, especially those who will tell me what I need to hear, not just want to hear.
I want to spend time in prayer before making a decision.
I want to grapple with why I might be leaving. Am I just wanting to get away from a situation? Or, I am I going to a new challenge or new opportunity? Am I at least grappling with what might be the will or desire of God in this situation?

The Five Kinds of People Who Surround You

We live and serve in the presence of others. I wrote the following with ministers and church leaders in mind. However, even if you are not in these roles, you might find this helpful. In a congregation, I am typically surrounded by at least five different groups of people:

Friends - I am so grateful for these people. These may be people who show an interest in your personal life and family. Often they are simply companions in life. Ministers will sometimes say, “We’ve finally made some friends in this congregation.”
Consumers - Sometimes these are people who are simply present for what they can get out of you or get out of the congregation. Their critique of you or the congregation may be based on whether or not their needs are met. Quite often, they leave when another minister or congregation seems to offer more.
Allies - These are people who support, encourage, and enable a minister to progress. They support the mission and are a critical part of a congregation and a ministry. Healthy relationships with allies allow room for raising questions and even offering differences of opinion. These people can really help a minister or other church leader think better and more clearly because of their presence.
Builders - These people have invested their time, money, and gifts for the ministry of the congregation. This may be a Bible School teacher who has taught for decades or a family who steps up financially whenever there is a challenge or new opportunity. They give, serve, contribute, and bless others.
Irritants/Enemies - These people may range from being regular irritants to being enemies. By using the word “enemies,” I am not referring to good people who might simply disagree. Rather, these may be a few individuals who want to see the minister fail and who will even put roadblocks in the way in order to discourage.
Ministers and church leaders still must love these people (Matthew 5:43-48). However, it is important to not be naive about these people. One can glibly say, “It’s all good.” If you are talking about God himself, that might be fitting. However, in even the best congregations, there will sometimes be persons who are very difficult for the minister to deal with.

Church leaders would be wise to be aware of these various individuals and groups within the congregation. All are God’s children and created in God’s image. The goal is not making all of these people “happy.” However, it is important to attempt to be calm in the presence of these people, to stay emotionally connected (as much as possible) and to be clear as you express your thoughts (instead of reacting to these groups).

Sometimes, ministers will think that everything is going well in a congregation because the feedback from their friends is so positive. Yet, it is really important that ministers and church leaders be clear about the presence of various people and groups in the congregation and how they might function differently. One thing for sure, none of the above groups need to be ignored.

What’s The Use?

The message in the video above was preached at the Highland Church (Memphis) on August 1, 2021. I include this in this Encouragement Note because you might find this helpful. Maybe you’ve felt like giving up. (I certainly have at various times.) The writer said that “. . . my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold” (Ps. 73:2). It seemed like the wicked were doing well while the godly people were struggling. He basically said, “What’s the use?” (73:13).

Later, this writer begins to look at life from God’s perspective and realizes that he has good reasons to be grateful.

Resources

See Thomas Oppong’s “Unstructured Learning: How to Learn Hard Skills that Pay Off Forever.” This is an excellent article from a very thoughtful writer.
One of the best podcasts that I regularly listen to is Mark Sayers’ Rebuilders. Very helpful interpretation of culture and its implications for churches, etc.
See this fine review of James K.A. Smith’s book, On The Road With St. Augustine: A Real World Spirituality for Restless Hearts. (Scott Wenig, Denver Journal, March 18, 2021).
Phillip Yancy has written a beautiful tribute: “Philip Yancey: My Benediction to the Beloved Storyteller, Walter Wangerin Jr” in Christianity Today, August 9, 2021.

Feel free to write. If something was particularly helpful, I would love to know about it.

I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. — Jim Martin