Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #33
I wanted to hide! I was a young insecure minister and had just publicly referred to a longtime member as a “visitor.” How embarrassing!
Embarrassing, humiliating moments can have a way of making the mountain of fear in front of you seem even more daunting.
Yet, on the other side of fear, we may find that that much fear and worry are really out of proportion to the threats we imagine.
The following is written for anyone (like myself) who regularly needs to get to the other side of fear.
Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
The List of Five
You Are More Than What You Might Think
Recently, Charlotte and I went to Searcy (Arkansas) to be a part of the faculty/staff award night at Harding University. This is a night in which many staff and faculty are recognized for their years of service. (I serve at Harding School of Theology in Memphis, Tn., the seminary of the university which is located in Searcy, Ark.) As various staff and faculty received awards, I was struck by the large number of good people who serve quietly, with little recognition, but who make a significant difference for others because of their work. Some serve as professors, while others do clerical work, serve as coaches, provide technical support, etc.
Later, I thought about some of the people I know who serve in other places and contexts and may need to be reminded of their value. For example:
Men/Women
You are more than the value of your car or your house. Your annual income and the status of your job are not indicators of your worth.
You are more than someone’s insult, vile language, or mistreatment. Your value comes from the Father, not from those whose intent is to devalue and hurt.
Mom/Dad
You are more than the accomplishments of your children. Some will be “A” students, others will struggle in school. Some will be popular. Some will not. Some will make good choices as adults and others will not. Yet your worth is not determined by what your children do or don’t do in life. Their choices as adults says nothing about your value as a parent.
You are more than the approval of your children at any given moment. You are rearing them for a kingdom life in Christ, not for their short term approval.
Ministers
You are more than what was said to you in that difficult meeting. Yes, the person’s comment was demeaning and snarky. However, that person’s pleasure or displeasure does not define your true worth.
You are more than the dilemma you may be facing. So many ministers have felt as if they were in the crosshairs between angry church members. Meanwhile in various congregations, many have emphatically shared their opinions (personally or through social media) about the pandemic, the recent presidential election, masks, etc.
You are more than a church employee. YOU are a child of God. You are precious and cherished in his eyes.
So what is the story you tell yourself? “If you believe you have no chance of being a writer, a designer, or an entrepreneur because none of the dots in your past add up, then of course, you have no real shot at being one. The story you tell yourself either opens doors or closes doors” (Paul Jun, “You are what you believe yourself to be,” 11/2/20).
Perhaps we need to ask ourselves, “What is the story we tell ourselves about our value and worth?”
Love as a Rugged Commitment
I was getting ready to officiate at a wedding in central Texas. Preparing for this event caused me to think about marriage in general and my own marriage in particular. Beyond this, I had already been thinking about some of the fragile relationships within congregations and the relational challenges we have faced over the last year.
Some of these challenges have resulted in the fragmentation of relationships within congregations. Church members argued about the pandemic, wearing masks, getting vaccinated, the presidential election, racial issues, etc. For many, this has been quite painful.
Yet, as we look to the future of our congregations, it is important that we recommit to one another by loving with a rugged commitment. By “rugged commitment,” I mean a love that is willing to do what is hard and messy. This is a love for another that is much like the steadfast love of the Lord toward his children (Lamentations 3:22). This is a love that is willing to go the distance for another.
Can we love each other with a rugged commitment so that we forbear one another in love, even when we strongly disagree?
Can we love each other with a rugged commitment so that we seek to lighten the load of church leaders instead of making life so difficult for them?
Can we love each other with a rugged commitment so that we put our identity in Jesus above any other identity?
This rugged commitment is necessary for a lasting friendship, for a growing marriage, and for any congregation that wishes to stay together, in spite of the pressures that threaten to rip it apart.
Perhaps a place to begin is by deciding to take the initiative. I have been thinking recently about 5-10 people in my life who I simply need to connect with again. Is this something that you might consider as well?
A No-Hitter Than Inspires the Rest of Us
I love the following story about a 17 year old with grit and perseverance. Read the CBS News story below and then watch the video for a few minutes of feel good joy!
Walker Smallwood, a 17-year-old student at Dixie Heights High School in Edgewood, Kentucky, always dreamed of pitching in the pros. Then he started posting some very disappointing numbers: six surgeries, six chemotherapy cycles, 24 treatments and 18 hospital stays.
The promising lefty was diagnosed with rare bone cancer in his leg in 2018. He's now in remission, but his baseball career has passed.
"It was pretty devastating," his mom, Pam, said. "He just kept asking, 'Can't I just pitch?' And we kept saying, 'No, you just really can't.'"
"At the time I guess I was just kind of in denial, because my whole life, day in and day out, was built around baseball and sports," Smallwood said.
His left leg became too fragile for him to play, so he resigned himself to games of catch. But before stepping off the mound for good, his parents and coach recently decided to let Smallwood start one last game for old time's sake.
"What we had agreed to was maybe an inning, a few batters," Pam said.
Smallwood added: "Say you did it, have some fun, and then that'll be it. Obviously, that's not what happened."
Here's what did.
In the first inning, Smallwood threw a strike — quite a few, actually. In fact, he did so well they decided to let him keep pitching, at least until he gave up a hit, which never happened.
Smallwood threw a no-hitter, striking out all but two batters and tying a school record.
"When the last strike came, I was just in denial all over again. I was like, that didn't just happen," he said.
"I was in tears, most of the stands were in tears – just one of those special moments that we'll cherish forever," Pam said.
Smallwood may never play again — the risk of injury is too great, the leg is too weak. He's actually fine with that now because who needs a World Series ring when you've already taken on your greatest rival and gone undefeated.
Ministry 101 - Thoughts about Ministry
This has been a hard, even brutal, year for so many ministers. These people are doing the very best they know how to do. Yet, the rancor, unrest, and infighting over the presidential election, racial unrest, and matters related to the pandemic have left many ministers (and many church members) drained and exhausted. A number of ministers have left their congregations for another kind of work.
It might be helpful to periodically evaluate how much or how little we are talking. Some of us may think that we are better listeners than we actually are. Those in conversation with us, may at times, find it difficult to even complete a sentence without interruption. On the other hand, some might need consider talking more as they actually have more to contribute than they might realize.
Read, read, read! Yes, read biblical scholars and theologians. However, it is also important to read widely. Reading widely can help one communicate more clearly. I want to read those who write well and who tell stories well. This can help you communicate more clearly and with greater clarity.
I love this quote by educator Sir Ken Robinson, “What we do for ourselves dies with us when we leave this planet. What we do for other people can live on forever.” Sometimes members of our congregations may deeply disappoint us by what they do such as the husband/father who abandons his family, or even the woman who writes a vile disgusting post on Facebook. Yet, in spite of these disappointments, ministers are making a real difference.
Be willing to laugh at yourself. Yes, ministry is serious work but I don’t have to take myself so seriously. Ministers who take themselves far too seriously may find that others have difficult being at ease in their presence.
There is nothing attractive about ministers who seem to be inflated with a heightened sense of self-importance. Some ministers are overly self-conscious about where they appear to land in the pecking order of importance. Jesus himself told us that the greatest is a servant (Mark 10:44-45).
Your daily habits, your spiritual disciplines, your exercise and rest, your relationships, etc. are behaviors that will help sustain you when ministry is hard. Don’t wait until you come to difficult times to begin investing in these.
The “little things” really do matter. Attempting to remember names, initiating casual conversation, and paying attention to others really do matter. Some ministers greatly underestimate just how valuable these are.
Resources
“Falling Seed: How Mr. Bud’s Prayers Get Me Through Covid” Baptist Standard, April 27, 2021, Matt Snowden.
“Covid and Sabbatical” Texas Baptists, April 20, 2021 Jonathan Smith.
“Writing as a Thinking Habit” Medium, Thomas Oppong, April 26, 2021.
See this wonderful article by Dan Bouchelle, “Why It Sees Like We’ve All Lost Our Minds.”
I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin
