Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #23
You and I are only weeks away from 2021! What a year 2020 has been. Hopefully, this “Encouragement Note” will give you some encouragement. This is the final issue for 2020. The next issue will be published January 4, 2021.
Perhaps something in the list of five will be helpful. If so, please consider sharing this with a friend. Maybe someone you know might be encouraged by this.
The List of Five
When Clarity Helps With Stress
I love these words from author Steve Cuss regarding managing anxiety. He suggests these questions for those of us trying to navigate life:
What is mine to carry?
What is theirs to carry?
What is God’s to carry?
These are three excellent questions that I am keeping before me right now. Far too often, as a minister, I have tried to carry what belonged to another. I have often over-functioned instead of “staying in my lane.” I can’t count the number of times I have taken responsibility for another’s functioning (or not functioning). Sometimes I did this as a father, anxiously trying to control the outcome of a child’s refusal to study or do homework. I would anxiously stay after her to do the work as I was more worried about the outcome than she was.
As a minister, I often allowed internal defeat to dominate my thinking. At times, I internally felt responsible for things that were completely out of my control.
For example I would sometimes attempt to carry the load for the congregation I served:
If I were a better minister, our church would be doing much better!
A family left our church. This must be my fault.
This church would fall apart without me. Everything rests on me.
Years ago, we moved to a new city to serve a new congregation. Before this, I had served as the preacher for another congregation in another state. One night I received a phone call from a man in this congregation. He said that once I left, some in the congregation realized how much I had been doing to keep the congregation functioning. At the time, I felt a bit prideful, glad that they finally recognized this. Years later, however, I realize this was my own over-functioning in response to my anxiety regarding the under-functioning of others. Some of what I did was not out of a desire to serve but rather a reflection of my own anxiety.
Dealing with the above questions helps me distinguish between my own responsibilities and the responsibilities of others. These questions also remind me that my family, my ministry, my work, etc. are not all up to me. God is at work! God carries us through this.
Two Years Old — Decades Later So Very Grateful
Above is a two year old boy. This is me. My parents had just moved from Little Rock to Dallas. It is June, 1955.
I look at this picture and feel such gratitude. I am so thankful for my parents and for so many, many others who have invested in me. I am thankful for every person who in some way made such a positive, godly difference in my life.
Sometimes, those of us who are parents, get caught up in the stress. We get caught up in the moment. When we do this, we may find that we greet our children with yelling, talking loudly, and basically staying after them. Sometimes we displace our anxiety and stress onto our children or whoever happens to be in the way. Our anxiety becomes theirs as well.
In the meantime, here is the good news. You can make the most of the day with your children (no matter their age) by lowering the volume and speaking words of encouragement and hope. Speak tender words of affirmation. Let them know that in spite of the way they feel at times, God loves them. Jesus loves them. YOU love them.
I think a lot about our four grandchildren: Brody, Lincoln, Sully, Elsie May. They are so much like the boy in the picture. They need each day to be refreshed with words of encouragement. They need to know that they are enough. Most of all, they need to be surrounded with God's love. Years ago, when our own children went to bed each night, I wanted them to remember, just before they went to sleep, that I was smiling at them and to hear my prayer for them.
So what do you do with your stress, the worries of life, your problems, etc?
Bow your head.
Open your hands.
Give these concerns to the Lord.
After all, God deeply cares for you. And-- the boy in the picture? Again, this is me and decades later, I still need this God who will carry my problems and worries. As a result, I can share my love with my children and grandchildren instead of acting out of my anxiety with them.
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" (I Peter 5:7)
Discouraged?
If you are discouraged, know that this is not a reflection of your weakness. This does not mean that you are not a good man/woman, church leader, minister, business person, coach, teacher, etc. It does mean that you are human.
This has been a tough year, on many levels. Many people are tired and weary. Yes, this is hard. This year has certainly been difficult and challenging for me as well.
The good news, however, is that God will get us through this. We will one day be on the other side of this pandemic.
In the meantime:
Be gracious and kind to yourself. Just get through the day.
Stay away from any social media that is harsh, negative, vindictive, or uncivil. Pay attention to how much time you spend on social media. I can certainly tell the difference in my own life in terms of reducing the negativity in my mind.
Make a list of activities that bring you joy and be intentional about practicing these. For me this would include enjoying dark chocolate, good coffee, phone calls with encouraging friends, etc. This is just a start.
Take a walk. Run. Do what gets you moving. Charlotte and I enjoy walking. Spending time outside can really help.
Care for your soul. Pay attention to the spiritual disciplines. Read Scripture. Pray. Read something that feeds your soul.
Does This Interest You?
Beginning January 6, 2021, for eight weeks, I will be teaching a Wednesday evening Bible class entitled "It's 2021! Now What?"
How do we begin this new year well, especially after the kind of year we had in 2020? As Christians, we go to Scripture and put our faith in the God who gives us new beginnings. Each week during January and February, we will look at Scripture and then come away with one principal for starting a year well.
While this class is for the Highland Church in Memphis, it is open to anyone. You might consider signing up for this eight week class, January - February at 7:00 PM (Central). If you would like to be a part of this class, please e-mail me - jmartin9669@gmail.com. In the subject heading of your e-mail, please put “2021 Class.” I will see that you get a Zoom link to the class. There is no cost.
I would love to see some of you on the screen!
Resources
I really like the following. There is something very healthy about having interests that go beyond our work. These interests not only can help us live fuller lives but can help us function as well-rounded persons. Tom Peters in a December 4, 2020 Tweet writes the following:
When hiring, always ask about outside work passions. Wildly successful midsize CEO friend says he won’t hire anyone with no outside interests. “I don’t care if it’s stamp collecting, knitting or 18th century French literature. I want some significant sign of breadth/curiosity.”
I recently listened to a stimulating interview of Daniel Ek. He is the CEO and founder of Spotify. He is being interviewed by Tim Ferriss. The interview deals with leadership, the culture, and his own growth. You can find the interview here.
For a number of years I have been attempting to keep up with Maria Popova. She writes Brain Pickings and has been featured in magazines such as Fast Company. You might want to be aware of her work at Brain Pickings.
Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.
I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin
