Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #22
These days, you may find it takes a lot of energy just to carry on with life and work. Perhaps you are like many of us and you are just trying to navigate life right now. You may come to the end of a day feeling bone-tired and at times, discouraged.
Hopefully, something in this brief encouragement note will be encouraging to you. Consider the following list of five.
The List of Five
What Would You Do Today If You Were Brave?
Have you ever wished you were more brave than you are? Some days, I need to be brave enough to meet challenges that are right in front of me. There are days when I wish I could take the next step without any hesitation or fear.
I’m not talking about bravado or being a “tough guy.” Rather, I am talking about a bravery that causes a person to step into fear, trusting that God’s strength and power are enough (I Chronicles 28:20).
So what would you do today if you were brave?
You might do the thing you keep putting off and procrastinating.
You might apologize for what you said instead of acting as if it never happened.
You might live in the circumstances of today and stop focusing on the great life you had several years ago before things soured.
You might see the doctor and stop avoiding the conversation about your health that you have feared.
You might have that important talk with one of your children about his or her life choices.
You might go on with your ministry, even though this year has been such a demoralizing, difficult season.
You might finally make the decision instead of waiting for all of the risk and uncertainty to go away.
Bravery does not mean you are not frightened by the obstacles that are in front of you.
A spouse whose dementia only seems to be getting worse.
The adult child who is in a period of rebellion and has no interest in listening to you.
The elder in your church who behaves more like a bully than a shepherd.
Bravery does mean that you dare to take the next step, believing that God through his Spirit will enable you to move forward. Bravery means that you continue to believe that God’s larger story of kingdom hope is greater than your defeat, your discouragement, and your despair.
Consider these next steps:
What would you do today if you were brave? What is that one thing that comes to mind, even as you consider the question?
What is a small step that you could take that just might take you forward? Know that taking what might appear to be a small step can really make an impact!
Your Inner Critic
“We tend to compare how we feel on the inside with how others look on the outside” (Rich Litvin)
On the outside, a person may appear to be competent and very capable. This person seems at ease socially. She may be attractive, articulate and well-read. When this person walks into the room, heads turn.
On the outside, this person may seem to have it made. She appears to have an important job with an impressive title indicating that this person is successful.
It may, however, remind you that you are ordinary.
When you see such a person, you may feel as if you are lacking and just don’t measure up. I have certainly felt this at times. Yet, you may be comparing the way you feel on the inside with the way others appear on the outside.
On the inside, I may feel foolish, stupid, and embarrassed. I may begin to listen to messages from my inner critic:
“I am not enough. Everyone else seems so far ahead of me.”
“I just don’t measure up.”
“If people only knew how little I know.”
“Just look at my weight, my ears, my hair, etc.”
“What if others knew about my flaws. What would they think?”
“What’s wrong with me! I wish I could be more like him/her who has so much to offer.”
“How stupid, I can’t believe I said that!”
My inner critic will remind me of stories from my past. Often these are stories of embarrassment or failure. My inner critic will offer these old stories as proof that in some way, I don’t measure up.
So many of us listen to this inner critic and then begin to critique ourselves, second-guess ourselves, and condemn ourselves. After condemning the self, a person may then attempt to compensate for these perceived flaws. Some may grasp whatever outward symbol (i.e.- a house in an exclusive neighborhood, a job title with status, an exotic vacation destination, etc.) might give the appearance of success. Others may simply hide, refusing to reveal their real selves.
Your inner critic is typically not your friend. Rather, your friend is the one who reminds you of your worth (Psalm 139:14). “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made . . ."
Maybe it would be helpful to reflect on how we listen to this this voice and its role in shaping ourselves.
Am I allowing my self image to be defined by my inner critic? Far too often, I have given my inner critic way too much attention. Instead, I would like to find my self image in the one who created me and has put me in this world for his own purposes.
Ministry With Less Anxiety
In ministry, we step into an opportunity to serve. It doesn’t matter if you are a church leader, a minister, a coach, or a business person, ministry is about serving others. However, it is so important that we hold this ministry lightly. Otherwise, we can easily place too much responsibility upon ourselves for the outcome.
Far too many people serve and then feel badly because the situation was not fully resolved.
“What else should I have done?”
“I failed, she didn’t respond.”
“What’s wrong with me. If only I was a better minister.”
The truth is that long after you have served someone, God continues to work. God continues to work after you have spoken a word of encouragement. God continues to work after you have preached. God continues to work after you had the difficult conversation.
Our competence for ministry is not in ourselves but comes from God (2 Corinthians 3:5). Ministry involves what you do, the response of others, and the work of God. You only have control over what you do.
If you want to keep your sanity while you serve another, only take responsibility for your own functioning and how you serve another.
You can serve faithfully and you may see wonderful results. You can serve faithfully and experience disappointment. However, you don’t have to take responsibility for that which you are not responsible for.
Four suggestions:
Get clear on what you are responsible for.
Get clear on what you are not responsible for.
Put your energy into your responsibility. At the same time know that God’s Holy Spirit is at work in ministry. This means that the dynamic of serving someone goes way beyond your own efforts.
Refuse to take responsibility for another’s choice or for the functioning and behavior of another.
If You Are Bone-Tired
Some days are just hard - real hard.
You may feel bone-tired, discouraged, and exhausted.
Tomorrow, by the grace of God, you and I will start over.
Don't let your mistakes and your blunders overwhelm you.
Maybe you messed up. You said the wrong thing.
You may be discouraged at the behavior of one of your children, and to make matters worse, you didn't handle the situation well.
Tomorrow is a new day. You and I have a brand new start. You are forgiven, redeemed for a new day -- by the grace of God.
Isn't that good news?
Resources
I enjoy Thomas Oppong’s articles on work and productivity. I often read his articles on Medium. His articles typically offer a helpful tip of some kind. As much as anything, he helps me think about how I work.
Laura Vanderkam has several podcasts. I especially like “The New Corner Office” You may want to listen to a podcast in this series entitled “Collaborate on Something New.” It is only five minutes long but it really made me think.
Right now I am reading N.T. Wright’s new book, Broken Signposts: How Christianity Makes Sense of the World. A great book based on the Gospel of John.
For months, I have been anticipating Todd Bolsinger’s new book Tempered Resilience. It finally arrived and I really look forward to reading this. I suspect this will be an important book in the discussion regarding leadership and navigating through the challenges of 2020.
David Brooks has written an excellent article entitled, Nine Non-Obvious Ways to Have Deeper Conversations (New York Times, November 20, 2020). What a helpful piece about simply having better conversations!
See Andy Crouch’s fine article in Comment, “Spiritual Practices for Public Leadership,” October 29, 2020. This is a brief article but really helpful.
Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.
I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin
