Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #21
You may know what it is to feel worn out. In fact, you may identify with some who may even be ready to quit.
The teacher who has had enough.
The coach who isn’t sure it is worth it.
The minister who is beginning to think that all of the effort really doesn’t matter.
Life in 2020 is hard.
Hopefully you will find a word of encouragement in the following list of five.
The List of Five
What I Wish I Had Known Earlier
A few weeks ago, I went to a meeting in another state, that required an overnight stay in a nearby hotel. I arrived that afternoon to check-in. I gave the clerk my name and told her that I had a reservation. However, she could find no reservation. I gave her the name of the person who made the reservation. Still no record. I then read aloud a part of an e-mail, which included the reservation number and the address of the La Quinta hotel. At that point, the clerk behind the desk said, “Sir, this is not the La Quinta. This is the Quality Inn.”
Good grief! I was at the wrong hotel. I wanted to hide.
There have been so many times when I was certain about a matter, only to learn later that I was wrong. I am not talking about sin or moral failings. Rather, I am referring to everyday mistakes and ordinary blunders. Recently, I gave thought to how I want to navigate through my mistakes:
I want to learn from my mistakes. On one occasion, I became upset in an elder’s meeting and proceeded to back a particular elder into a corner as I sought an explanation. I was driven by raw emotion instead of good thinking and love.
I don’t want to be nonchalant about my mistakes. I will not grow by shrugging my shoulders and saying, “Nobody is perfect.”
I want to admit my mistakes. I don’t want to make a mistake in front of my wife, children, or grandchildren and then fail to acknowledge this. I don’t want to be that person about whom it can be said, “Oh he will never admit he is wrong — about anything!”
When I make a mistake, if possible, I want to do what I can to make things right. I don’t want to make a mistake and then act as if it never happened.
Finally, I want to regularly apologize for my mistakes. I want those who have been impacted negatively to know that I regret my action or words and am sorry for the hurt or inconvenience I may have caused.
You May Not Know What You Think Until You Write It
Sometimes, I don’t realize what is on my mind until I have written my thoughts. I have kept a journal for many years. Before writing a journal entry, I may not realize that I have these particular thoughts or feelings but then I write and the words began to flow. After reading what I have written, I often have greater self-awareness. I have found this very helpful.
Writing is not just a way of communicating with the world, it’s actually a way of communicating with yourself. The act of writing creates a space in the day to connect with what is it that you really feel and what you really think. The pressure and routine and muscles of blogging every day means that you will get somewhere every day. (Austin Kleon, cited in Ali Abdall’s Deep Dive #23)
Five Important Realities for Any Minister
Know that you will probably get more credit than you deserve but you will also get more blame than you deserve.
Credibility is often won or lost in the little things. A failure to return calls, texts, or e-mails has a way of eating away at one’s credibility. Talking with your spouse in a heavy handed way or using passive aggressive humor will be noticed. Some people will hear this and wonder what you are really like at home. Yet, credibility is not about obsessing over what others might notice but giving attention to who you really are.
It is true that ministry is hard. During this pandemic, it has been especially difficult for many ministers. This has also been a difficult time for many, many others serving in a variety of professions.
Few are impressed when we trot out our seminary theological language before the congregation on a Sunday morning. Why use a technical word that only a few might be familiar with? This doesn’t impress others with our intelligence. Instead it may be irritating to some that we are using “shop talk” instead of making the effort to communicate clearly.
In most any profession, there is “shop talk,” a language that those on the inside know but the rest of us probably don’t. We might get lost rather quickly in such a conversation. The insurance agent can pepper her language with technical insurance terminology and completely lose the attention of another. The mechanic can talk about the various functions of a car engine and probably lose many of us. We help a congregation when we speak in a language that communicates clearly.
Ministers can have a great deal of influence. Yet trust and credibility are often gained or lost outside the Sunday assembly. How you and I behave when we are not in front of a congregation really matters. I know ministers who are average speakers but actually have tremendous credibility because of the way they live before the congregation during the week.
A Refreshing Gesture
After a brutal political campaign and other realities we are dealing with right now as a culture, I found this brief video refreshing. This video clip from CBS Sunday Morning News by Steve Hartman is reminder of the power of a kind gesture — this one by children.
How Spiritual Leaders Can Bless One Another
1. Spiritual Leaders Need to Shepherd One Other
Is the spiritual leader willing to be “known” by other godly people? Perhaps one of the best things spiritual leaders can do is to tell their life/faith stories to one another. How did you become a Christian? Who are the people who have been influential in your walk with Jesus? How did they influence you? (My experience in doing this is that ministers/elders will often say to one another, “I am learning so much about you. I had no idea.”)
Spiritual leaders can periodically check in with one another by also asking questions like: What is giving you a lot of stress right now? What is giving you joy during this season of your life? What part of your life is challenging right now?
2. Spiritual Leaders Pay Close Attention to Their Marriages
One of the best things you can do for the congregation is to model what a healthy, godly marriage looks like. As a married couple, are we really friends? Do we honor one another by the way we speak of each other?
Far too many ministers/elders get caught up in the mechanics of church leadership and forget the power of modeling a healthy marriage before the church. Yet, for this to be authentic, you and I can only model publicly, what actually exists in our home when no one else is looking.
3. Spiritual Leaders and Spouses Are Intentional About Their Spiritual Growth
Each person needs to be intentional about his/her own spiritual growth. Spiritual leadership can be very challenging and demanding. There is probably nothing more important than for a spiritual leader to be attentive to one’s own transformation into the image of Jesus.
It is important to pay attention to my own functioning in my marriage. I can’t behave in a way that is spiritually immature in my marriage and then shift gears and try to behave as a spiritually mature person when I am with ministers/elders whom I might admire.
Consider these examples of spiritually immature behavior in marriage: Being temperamental, moody, short tempered, unpredictable, speaking sharply, and selfishness. The very best thing I can do as a spiritual leader is to address these areas of immaturity in my life and marriage. A willingness to address these behaviors as a disciple of Jesus ultimately blesses the the congregation.
4. Challenges Faced by Spiritual Leaders
Loneliness. Friendships with other godly people can be very helpful. It can be particularly helpful if you and your spouse have a rich friendship with one another.
Spending too much time with critical, negative people. Too much time with these people can suck the life out of most anyone. It is so important that a minister set boundaries and decide how much time is best to spend with various people.
Not using wisdom with certain people whom you shepherd. For example: There are men/women who are lonely and are in marriages where they feel neglected. These people are not necessarily devious but certainly may be vulnerable. What is the wisest way to shepherd such a person? Some have used poor judgment and found themselves in a mess.
Some church leaders may be tempted to have a heightened sense of self-importance because of their role. Self-importance can be intoxicating. It can cause a person to become arrogant and speak about matters with certainty in which this person really has no knowledge.
Each Friday/Saturday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other church leaders as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.
Jim Martin serves as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669-at-gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful.
