Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #14
I love to be around people who are intentional about the way they live. If I am going to become a healthier self, it will probably be an intentional action. This often begins with changing your focus from passively waiting for life to happen, to becoming purposeful with your own life. For Christian people, this starts with with my commitment to Jesus as Lord. The following list of five may may be helpful.
The List of Five
8 Ways to Preserve Your Ministry Sanity
Last week, Mike Cope and I had a conversation for an hour on Zoom about “8 Ways to Preserve Your Ministry Sanity.” (Sponsored by Pepperdine University Department of Church Relations and Hope Network ministries) Ministers from across the country listened to this conversation. The eight that we discussed include the following:
Get some rest.
Pay attention to self-care.
Be intentional about looking for moments of joy.
Have friendships for whom you have low expectations.
Talk to someone who can help.
Practice spiritual disciplines.
Commit to being a non-anxious presence.
Spend time with less social media.
Whether you are in a ministry role or you are simply a believer trying to serve in your vocation, there is much to gain from paying attention to these eight practices.
How Are You Going to Show Up?
Every day, we show up. We show up somewhere and with someone. The question is, “How do we show up?” Or, to be a bit more personal, “How do I show up with others?”
How do I show up with my family?
How do I show up in my school or business?
How do I show up with the congregation? How does the congregation experience me? How do the other ministers or elders experience me?
How do I show up with my co-workers? What is it like to work with me?
What I can do is focus on my own presence and functioning. For example, consider what I don’t have to do today:
I don't have to critique everything I see or read.
I don't have to speak with sarcasm.
I don't have to gripe and complain.
I don't have to be so negative.
What a blessing this might be for others!
Right now, we live with such a rich opportunity to function in a way that better reflects the character of God.
Choose empathy over sarcasm. You don’t have to say what will diminish or dismiss others.
Choose to express what you think. However, you don’t have to resort to reactivity or respond with anxiety.
Choose to share your best judgment on a matter. However, stay emotionally connected with others, even those with whom you disagree.
Choose to look for the kernel of truth in what another is saying. You and I don’t have to insinuate that the person with whom we disagree must not be intelligent, doesn’t love God, or doesn’t believe the Bible.
There is so much that is out of our control. However, we can control how we will show up with others. As a start, you and I can choose to smile. That alone, can set the tone for your presence with others.
The endless noise can feed the fires of your own anxiety. Overdosing on social media & endless outrage (no matter how valid the issue), can leave a person emotionally fried. This is the time to manage yourself, and how much intake of news/comments you can handle right now. — Jim Martin
Self-Care: Not Just Important But Critical
(Continued from issue #12)
Self-care #6 Be intentional about creating and maintaining healthy boundaries. When we are preoccupied with being liked & when we gage our worth by the approval of others, we may find ourselves dangerously crossing appropriate boundaries.
Self-Care #7 Being a servant & loving others does not mean that I must say "yes" to anyone who wants something from me. Every "yes" is a "no" to something else. My time and money are limited. I need to pray for wisdom and discernment regarding what I say “yes” to. We serve out of God’s character, not to gain the approval of another.
Self-care #8 Before the day begins, look at your calendar. The anticipated meetings, the phone calls you have to make, that unpleasant conversation, the e-mail response, etc. When you wonder why you are doing this act of service, know that God is in each moment and in each mundane task.
Self-care #9 With so much high anxiety reflected in social media, consider limiting the time you are on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. Wading through multiple pages of anxious, fearful posts, in a time of high anxiety, may not be the best preparation for showing up as a calm self on Sunday or at work during the week.
Self-care #10 Focus on today. You can't control the outcome of your ministry or work. Focus on doing the work--today. Pray that you will let go of what you can't control. Everything does not depend on you. Be as gracious to yourself today as you would be toward another.
Valuable Take-Aways
Below are some valuable take-aways. These can be helpful whether you are in a formal ministry role or simply serve in some capacity in your vocation.
Write things down! Are you supposed to get back with someone? Did you promise to call someone else? Are you supposed to prepare for a meeting? Write these things down. You might be surprised to know how many people never do this. As a result, some of these people develop a reputation for rarely returning phone calls and not following through on various commitments.
Cultivate your prayer life. I came across this line somewhere, "Prayer is not the only thing we do, but it is the most important thing we do." Nothing is more important than paying attention to one’s own interior life before the Lord. This attentiveness begins with prayer.
Be kind to custodians, receptionists, administrative assistants, secretaries, mother’s day out
teachers, and others who are sometimes taken for granted. Your integrity and true self are lived out every day before these people.
Beware of using the congregation to satisfy your unmet emotional needs and deep wounds from earlier years. Many struggle with tremendous anger and resentment, which often has nothing to do with the congregation. If one doesn’t deal with these wounds, a person can often damage other relationships.
Place a serious priority on becoming more and more like Jesus. You may be a good public speaker. You may be a fine scholar. You may be a very gifted person in many ways. Yet, regardless of one’s gifts, there is absolutely no substitute for a life that is being continually shaped and formed into the image of Jesus. Something is wrong when Christian people are not serious and intentional about this formation.
Don’t worry about who gets the credit. At times you will see others get credit for your hard work and ideas. On the other hand, you may sometimes get far more credit than you might deserve. Just expect this to happen.
Work hard but avoid trying to call attention to your hard work and long hours. Many, many other people in your congregation work hard and often work long hours. On the other hand, those of us who are perceived to be lazy will quickly lose the respect of others in the congregation. Yes, many ministers work very hard but so do many other people.
Show up. No you can’t go to every event and be everywhere. I do want to show up when it really matters. At times, it may be helpful to seek the wisdom and good judgment of someone else to know which events, situations, etc. are more important than others.
Pray for the wisdom to know what might be appropriate behavior in various situations. There is nothing particularly spiritual about communicating whatever fleeting thought might happen to enter my mind. There may be talk that is appropriate at a family gathering that may not be appropriate in a funeral home. Sometimes, this is just using good judgment.
Be quick to apologize. Defensiveness often only serves to amplify your own immaturity.
Resources
The following are a few Zoom conversations that I have recently participated in. You might be interested in these.
*Conversation with Jon Mullican regarding being a non-anxious presence in this time. James Nored’s class via Austin Grad.
*Hope Network conversation regarding children and ministry. Jeff Cary and Shannon Rains.
*Conversation with Mike Cope regarding preaching during the Covid-19 virus.
See Tod Bolsinger’s “Resilience in a Permanent Crisis Webinar: Practices for Christian Leaders.” Excellent!
I just received a copy of The Leader’s Journey: Accepting the Call to Personal and Congregational Transformation by Jim Herrington, Robert Creech and Trisha Taylor. This is the second edition which has received some updates and elaboration in some areas. (I read the first edition a number of years ago.) This is a very helpful book.
Each Thursday/Friday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other believers as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.
I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. You can find me at God-Hungry.org. You can find me on Facebook - @jim.martin. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging or helpful. — Jim Martin
Debbie, that you so much for such an encouraging note today! You blessed me today. Know that I have such respect for you. You continue to make a kingdom difference! — Jim
Jim, this was life-giving! Such a gentle yet convincing discussion inviting me to change up a rhythm that has always worked, and to mature and PRESS IN. I was encouraged that you two were ministers during 911 so you have "street cred!" I have GOT to get this down!