Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #114
Moments that helped shape me . . . Being a parent when you can't be there . . . A few thoughts on this new chapter . . . A prayer of blessing . . . Etcetera
You may be a new reader. If so, welcome! Each issue (every other Monday morning) contains “The List of Five.” I hope that in some way you find encouragement in what you read. I write this with a lot of different people in mind. There are always a few paragraphs specifically for ministers and other church leaders. Thank you for reading.
The List of Five
Moments that Helped Shaped Me
When my dad was 12 years old, he lived on a farm on the plains of Oklahoma with his mother, dad, and two younger brothers. That year, he faced a challenge that would be significant in shaping his character.
At the time, his dad, my grandfather, lay in a hospital with a hot cinder lodged in his eye. He would lose the complete use of that eye.
In the meantime, the cotton crop was ready for harvest. The weight of this harvest was on my dad’s shoulders. Again, he was 12 years old.
Nearby farmers, with their own harvest to bring in, rallied around this family. After working much of the day in their own field, they would help this neighbor boy gather the cotton. When his dad (my grandfather) was released from the hospital, he praised the efforts of his son. These simple words of approval would remain in his heart for the rest of his life. I heard my dad occasionally tell this story and he would always be moved as he remembered these affirming words from my grandfather.
Encouragement: A Moment in the Military
At seventeen years old, my dad enlisted in the United States Marine Corps. His schoolteacher mother signed his enlistment papers. Soon his world was no long the Oklahoma plains but a ship, the USS Pasadena.
Some months later, he would be admitted to a Naval hospital in Bremerton, Washington with a heart issue.
It was 1947. A gruff Navy doctor made an offhanded remark that became an unlikely source of encouragement for my dad. “Martin!” he said, eyeing my dad’s slender frame, “you wouldn’t be half-bad looking if you would put some meat on those bones.” These words, however rough, actually served to encourage him.
Work, Sales, and Learning to Trust God
He eventually came home from the service and worked very hard, with the same intensity he had shown in the cotton field, years earlier. He navigated through a variety of jobs, mostly in sales. He eventually became a longtime insurance agent in the Dallas area. One of his earlier jobs was selling cemetery lots for Grove Hill Memorial Park. Ironically, he would be buried in this same park decades later in December 2013.
I remember my dad as a man who loved God and worked very hard.
One summer, he went to work for a friend, traveling week after week in a sales role. His friend, now his employer, was also a member of our congregation. Yet, the job only lasted for a few months as his friend refused to pay him for his work.
I was seventeen and came home from work (a summer job) late one night. It was after midnight and he was still up. He sat at our kitchen table with our bills lined up in neat rows. He said he was trying to figure out how to pay these bills. He had no job and no income.
Years later, he revealed that during this time, he would put on his suit each morning and sit in his car — praying earnestly for a job. He said, “I had to learn to trust God each day.”
What Stories Have Shaped You?
These stories have helped shape me. They have been a source of encouragement.
What stories have been important in helping to shape you?
What stories have been significant in your family so that you want to pass them on to your children and your grandchildren?
What are the important moments in your own life that have now become a part of your story?
Being a Parent When You Can’t Be There
Jon Tyson’s words really made me think:
“Do in prayer what you cannot do in person.”
As a young father, I threw myself into parenting with a mix of love and sheer will power. I played with them. I read to them and prayed with them at night. I was present at their ball games.
The Reality of Absence
Yet, the truth is that there are limitations as to what you can do as a parent. As our daughters got older, there were moments that Charlotte and I could not physically share with them:
The first night in their dorm room. Both of our girls went to colleges (Harding and Oklahoma Christian) in other states.
In the hotel room, when our daughters traveled during their college years or later when they travelled as a part of their job.
Dates. Social events. Dinners and receptions. Again, they were at these events while we were home.
The first few months of a new marriage.
Even if your children live nearby, there are still many, many times in which you are not present. This can be a difficult challenge for any parent.
Parents Can Pray!
Do in prayer what you cannot do in person.
Prayer is not a moment of resignation. It is not the last resort when all else fails. Prayer is a recognition that the battle is not over! You and I are able to transcend physical limitations when we are faithful in prayer.
We pray asking the Father to be active and at work in our son or daughter’s life.
When I am not physically with her as she faces huge challenges.
When my son has flown hundreds of miles away on a business trip and is now in a hotel room - alone.
When my daughter is having surgery. I can’t be in the operating room but I pray to God who will go where I can’t go.
I can do in prayer what I cannot do in person. While I want to be used by God to do what I can in person, there will be times when I am not there. Such a time does not mean I am powerless. Rather, these moments remind me that I can pray and God will hear my prayers.
Through prayer, you have access to the most powerful force in the universe. When we pray, we may find that our influence extends farther than we ever imagined.
Do in prayer what you cannot do in person.
A Few Thoughts on This New Chapter
On August 30, I began a new chapter in my life. I am now in a period of “post-employment” or “semi-retirement.” For a few months, I am laying low, trying to discern my next steps. At this point, my days seem — odd. Right now, it just seems a bit weird not to be going to the office. Again — not bad, just odd.
I’m mainly focusing on having a rhythm in the mornings. Most days begin with coffee, Bible reading, writing in my journal, and prayer. This is a version of a practice I’ve had for many years but without the pressure of knowing that I have to get ready to leave for work.
Charlotte and I typically go to the gym after this. After working out, I will read or get ready to meet someone for coffee or lunch. In the afternoons, I might have e-mail to answer, Zoom meetings, or phone calls to make. Typically, the afternoons are varied.
I am a rookie at this season of life. I don’t have this figured out. Yet, I look forward to what God might do during this season of life.
A Prayer of Blessing (Particularly preachers, pastors, and other church leaders)
Somewhere, in one of his books, Henri Nouwen tells the story of a sculptor whose studio was next door to the home of a little boy. One day a big flatbed truck pulled up to the studio and delivered an enormous block of marble. The big front doors to the studio opened and the marble was wheeled up to the studio. The little boy, playing in his front yard, followed the workers into the studio to see what would happen. A few days later, he watched as the sculptor took his hammer and chisel and began to chip away at the piece of stone. The boy eventually lost interest and went away.
A number of weeks later, the boy went back into the studio and then to his amazement, he no longer saw a chunk of stone, but he saw in its final phase a beautiful carved lion. The boy was aghast and said, “How did you know there was a lion in that marble?”
I read this story years ago. It struck me as to the importance of ministry and spiritual formation. We are being used by God, and his Word, to form and shape someone who is becoming more Christ-like. Our ministry is not a status quo ministry. Rather, we are intentional ministers who are helping to form and shape another.
So to all of you who in some way are serving Jesus in his ministry:
May your hears, souls, and bodies be ablaze with the passion to serve others in the name of Jesus.
May you find strength and perseverance in the challenging moments of your ministry.
May you find courage in the face of adversity, discouragement, and attacks by the evil one.
May the Holy Spirit give you the power to say “no” to the seductive temptations that enter your heart.
May you find compassion and empathy to feel for the struggles of others. May you come alongside and lift up the fallen and the humility to always seek the will of God above all else.
May your ministry, by the grace of God, be fruitful and your dedication unwavering.
May you be a beacon of light, shining God’s love into the people whom you serve.
May your efforts honor the name of the Lord.
May the Lord bless you and keep you, may he make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace (Numbers 6:24-26).
Etcetera
See Lantz Howard’s interview (“Wholehearted Leadership with Lantz Howard”) with Jon Tyson.
I have found Bobb Biehl’s book, Decade by Decade, to be very helpful for understanding the various chapters of life.
Such a wonderful reminder that conversations matter. Words matter. You never know the influence you are having upon another person.
I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.
I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.
Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin
Jim,
Thank you so much for taking the time to share the hard earned wisdom you've gained from years of service to God in the kingdom. I always benefit from what you share.
Blessings,
Kevin Youngblood
I attended your father's funeral. You and your sister honored him so well. The church to whom he was so devoted showed up as witness to this wonderful man you called Dad.
These stories you tell so well cause me to reflect on my own father's words, his times of trouble, and my own difficult moments as a son and as a father. Thank you for sharing these important stories.