Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #113
The rookie mindset: a key to staying alive . . . Finding contentment . . . Why does life have to sometimes be so hard . . . Grumbling or gratitude? . . . Etcetera (resources)
The List of Five
The Rookie Mindset: A Key to Staying Fully Alive
There are people who seem to be curious and energetic, regardless of their age. More often than not, they are lifelong learners. They are constantly growing and developing. They are interested in life and are interesting people.
From Legend to Rookie
Former NFL quarterback legend, Tom Brady, spent 20 years as quarterback of the New England Patriots. Brady won six different Super Bowls in New England and then went to Tampa Bay and won another Super Bowl. One might think Brady would desire to rest on his amazing track record.
This year, however, Brady stepped into a new arena - NFL broadcasting. He did the color commentary on his first game and immediately received some criticism from others. He responded to some of these critics by acknowledging his rookie status. The clear implication was that he had a lot to learn and work on. What a great mindset!
This mindset isn’t to deny or overlook the years of experience one might have or the knowledge a person might have gained over the years. Rather, it is to move forward with a growth oriented mindset of always learning.
This mindset might be helpful to you and me as we attempt to navigate the various chapters of our lives. The following are some examples.
If I Embrace a Rookie Mindset
I will learn to be a better husband or wife instead of stubbornly saying, “That’s just the way I am.”
I will seek to learn how to be a father or mother to a son or daughter who is going through adolescence or perhaps has entered high school. I don’t assume that I know exactly what to do as a parent.
I will continue to learn and grow in my field of work, even after having done this particular work a decade or more.
I will seek to grow and stay vibrant, regardless of my age or chapter in life.
The Danger of Stagnation
Far too many people in their 40s, 50s, or 60s stop learning. They remain stuck. They have stopped being intentional about learning. To hear some people talk, real life happened when they were much younger. Real life seems to be past tense.
I overheard a man talking with a younger guy at church. He said, “You had better enjoy your young years. Once you turn 50, everything is downhill.” Really?
In contrast to this, I choose to look forward, believing that anytime God is present in one’s life, something hopeful may be on the horizon. Perhaps this begins with the willingness to “let go” and choose to be a rookie.
You can choose to be a rookie
Expand your thinking. Read what you would not normally read.
Embrace new experiences. Try a new sport, hobby, activity, restaurant, etc.
Challenge yourself. Volunteer to do something out of your comfort zone.
Maybe the secret to staying fresh and alive is your own willingness to be a rookie. It is not too late to begin something new.
(I would love to hear from you if you have been intentional with this.)
Finding Contentment
Maybe you have caught yourself thinking:
“It must be nice to have as much money as the Smiths. I wish we could go on a fancy vacation like them.”
Maybe you have looked at someone else’s life (as I have) and silently wondered, “Why can’t this be me?”
Whether it is television commercials or conversations at work, there seem to be constant challenges to compare and complain. We are told again and again that we need to upgrade. And so, we are dissatisfied with what we have. We may be talking about our vacation and a few minutes later a guy at work says, “Hey that’s nothing! You should have see where we went on vacation!”
Contentment may seem to be impossible. As a result, some of us tend to gripe and complain - a lot.
Contentment is Not Dependent on Your Problems Going Away
Paul writes from prison (Philippians 1:7-8; 12-14) that he has found the secret to contentment.
Paul’s secret was not dependant on changing his external circumstances. Rather, it was about learning to “stand firm in the Lord” (4:1).
The Path to Real Contentment
Yes, contentment can seem elusive. Yet, the following steps can keep us moving in the right direction:
Rejoice in the nearness of the Lord (4:5-6). God is with you. There is never a moment in which you will have to live without his presence.
Pray with thankfulness in every situation (4:6). God leans in to hear our gratitude.
Deliberately think about what is noble, right, etc. (4:8). This is not easy, but we can learn to focus on what is good in our lives.
Depend on Him to provide strength (4:10-13). “I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (4:13)
Why write this?
There are days when I cling to contentment as a precious gift. Then there are other days, when I seem to be stumbling through the darkness. Perhaps some of you can relate. Nevertheless, each day I want to rest in him, the only one who can give true contentment.
Why Does Life Sometimes Have to Be so Hard?
Consider the moments when you are navigating a difficult chapter in your life and you wonder, “Why does this have to be so hard?” In fact, what you grapple with in life can be a grind.
As a parent, you watch your child (perhaps your adult child) attempt to deal with a situation that is heart-breaking.
In your work or ministry, you may face an insurmountable obstacle.
In your faith journey, perhaps you are grappling with spiritual drought and a real emptiness.
I have felt all three of these challenges. At times I have wept for our two children, as I called out to God in prayer. In my work as a minister, there have been times when I dealt with a discouraging obstacle. In my own faith walk, there are times when I have been so dry and depleted spiritually.
Surely, there is a way life can be easier. Yet, even the most devoted Christ-followers face real hardship. Hear the Apostle Paul describe some of his own hardships (2 Corinthians):
Suffering 1:5-6
Distress 1:6
Hardships 1:8
Living under great pressure 1:8
Despairing of life 1:8
Feeling the sentence of death 1:9
Deadly peril 1:10
There are two other lists of Paul’s sufferings in this book (6:4-10, 11:23-29). On top of it all, he bore the weight of “. . . the pressure of my concern for all the churches” (11:28).
I Want to Remember
God enables you and I to do what is hard. God gets us through times that are very hard. In the hardest, most challenging situation we will ever face, we can know that we do not have to do this on our own.
God is with us. You and I are not alone. God’s Spirit is his forever presence in our lives (Matthew 28:20). He will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5)
God empowers us through the Holy Spirit (2 Tim. 1:7).
God embraces us through Jesus Christ. The embrace of Jesus will not let us go.
Grumbling or Gratitude (Especially for Ministers, Pastors, Elders and Other Church Leaders)
In the neighborhood where I grew up, most families seemed to be just getting by.
Yet, one man stood out. In my eyes, he seemed to be wealthy. I remember his chocolate brown and white wing tips (shoes), golf attire, and an ever present cigar. In the driveway was his convertible, a Cadillac Fleetwood.
One very hot summer day, his son, who was about my age, invited a number of the neighborhood kids to help lay new St. Augustine grass in their yard. We would not be paid but at the end of the day, his daddy would take us to the ice cream shop.
Early the next morning, we began working. First we had to spread the two big mounds of sand onto the front and back yard. Once that was done, we began handing his dad and some older boys the squares of St. Augustine. They would lay the sod.
For hours, we spread sand and laid sod. Most of us worked all day. Some, however, came late, like the two middle school age brothers from down the street. They barely worked two hours before it was time for all of us to quit.
A few minutes later, we began to make our way to the ice cream shop. Some of the kids rode in his Cadillac, with the top down. Others of us rode in cars belonging to one of his sons.
At the ice cream store, we were in for a surprise. He was not just buying us an ice cream cone. He was buying each kid a quart of ice cream! Even the two boys who barely worked two hours received a quart of ice cream.
Yet, how could this be fair?
Ice Cream and Ministry
Years later, as I think about this moment with the ice cream, I am reminded of God’s grace and our ministries:
The giver owes us nothing. Just as our neighbor owed us no ice cream, God owes us nothing.
We don’t deserve fairness and we are desperate for forgiveness.
Ministry is much like this
Some serve in the spotlight. There are some ministers who serve and do so with much public recognition. Their ministries seem to be fruitful. They are compensated well by their congregations.
Others serve in relative obscurity. Some of these ministers may struggle financially and worry at times about the lack of medical insurance and a retirement plan.
The temptation to grumble may always be present for ministers and other church leaders. We may be tempted to compare our ministries with others and miss the joy of ministry.
Gratitude:
Joy and delight in God begin only when you come to know you are worse than you thought and that God, through the cross of Jesus, loves you more than you can imagine.
Gratitude in ministry is rooted in our own gratitude toward the giver of all things, God himself.
Etcetera
The late Glenn Frey (1948 - 2016), musician and song writer, sings “The Shadow of Your Smile.” Frey was formerly with the Eagles. It is difficult to think about this band without remembering his name.
Jacob Brogan wrote an interesting piece in the Washington Post, “How memorizing poetry can expand your life.” I read this with interest because Lynn Anderson, an important mentor, often quoted poetry and memorized poems.
Just finished Parker J. Palmer’s book, On the Brink of Everything. I particularly found the first half of the book to be helpful.
I am re-reading William Bridges’ classic work, Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes. This could be helpful to anyone who is in some sort of transition in life.
I formerly served as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee. Prior to this, I served as a minister in various congregations for 36 years.
I am a husband, father, and grandfather. One of my favorite things to do is to come alongside another person and encourage her or him.
Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging. — Jim Martin
Thanks so much, Mary.
Thank you, Jim. Great advice, as usual!