Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #107
Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #107
The story you tell yourself . . . What you may learn next . . . Rumors that bring life . . . When you feel overwhelmed and tired . . . Etcetera (listening and reading resources)
(Unsplash - John Tyson)
The List of Five
The Story You Tell Yourself
Seth Godin once asked a very important question:
What story do you tell yourself about yourself?
I know that marketers tell stories. We tell them to clients, prospects, bosses, suppliers, partners and voters. If the stories resonate and spread and seduce, then we succeed.
But what about the story you tell yourself?
I began to wonder:
“What story do I tell myself about myself?”
The stories we tell ourselves will impact and shape what we conclude about ourselves. For instance, some of us adopt stories that might lead us to conclude the following:
“I can’t.”
“It can’t be done”
“I know something bad is about to happen.”
“I never get a break. You wouldn’t do any better if you had been through what I’ve been through”
“You can’t expect much from me. I am a victim.”
“If it wasn’t for ______, I would have done much better.”
What is the story you tell yourself about yourself?
Do you forget you are a man/woman created in the very image of God! You are unique. God has created you with worth and great value. You are loved by God and capable of loving others. By his grace, you are far more than you may realize.
What You May Learn Next
Former NBA great, Bill Walton played college basketball under legendary coach John Wooden. Walton said that when he graduated from UCLA in June 1974, John Wooden told him:
“It’s the things you learn after you know it all, that counts.”
This sentence made me think. I suspect most of us would quickly say, “I sure don’t want to be a know it all.” That just sounds obnoxious. At the same time, becoming overly confident in myself can be a subtle temptation.
After all:
I may have advanced academic degrees from very good schools.
I may work for an institution or have a job that has some prestige and respect.
I may have experienced some degree of success in my job, ministry, life, etc.
I may have lengthy experience in my life and work.
Yet, as Wooden says:
“It’s the things you learn after you know it, all that counts.”
Perhaps many of us need a little more humility. It is humility that could actually propel our learning. It is humility that helps create the hunger to learn. There are opportunities for you and me to learn most every day, even from the most unlikely places.
What might you learn next?
Words Can Give Life and Destroy
Many who read these words are parents. Parents know that words matter as they speak to their children.
Words can be deadly as well as give life.
Our oldest daughter was in the seventh grade. We were in the middle school gym. We were watching her and her team play basketball. The game was coming to a close.
One girl on our team was having great difficulty guarding a particular player on the opposing team. Again and again the opposing player would score. Finally at one point, the father of our player stood from where he had been sitting and began yelling at his daughter.
He called her name in front of the entire gym and said, “Your defense stinks!”
The gym became eerily silent as the humiliated girl on the court starred at her father.
That was decades ago. I have wondered what happened to that little girl.
Most fathers I know would never think of doing anything like this. They would never want to humiliate or shame their child the way this father did.
Yet, it is important that we not only avoid words of shame and humiliation but that we speak words of life and hope.
When our children were small, I had to learn how to speak in a way that would encourage our girls. I did not come from a demonstrative family and it would have been far easier for me to simply be silent. Yet, I learned by observing other fathers how to speak life giving words into my daughters. You can learn this too.
The following words can be so life giving to a child:
“You are able. I believe in you.”
“You are beautiful. You are just right.”
“You have got what it takes. The Lord is with you. I am for you!”
“You can do this. Keep praying and don’t give up.”
“You can be an excellent husband/wife. Marriage is challenging but know that I am behind you.”
“You are so important to me. Know that I am for you! You will make mistakes and get knocked down but I am for you.”
These words from a dad or mom are a precious gift. Such words give courage, comfort, and life-long blessings after the moment.
What does your child need to hear today? What does your adult-child need to hear today? What might your grandchild need to hear today?
When You Feel Overwhelmed and Tired (Especially for ministers and other church leaders)
The following are questions that have helped me in times when I have felt overwhelmed and exhausted:
1. What am I thinking about? I know if I spend a lot of time rehearsing my worries or my fears that it costs me energy. At one time in my life, I would wake up in the middle of the night and lay in bed thinking one negative thought after the other. I was allowing each thought to have its moment on the stage of my mind. Each one appeared on the stage and appealed to my anxiety and worry. Such thinking kept me awake at night and drained me of energy.
2. Who am I spending time with? I have to monitor just how much time I spend with negative, critical people. Too much time spent with others who are constantly griping and complaining will drain me of energy. What seems like an endless stream of negative talk really does impact me.
3. What do I put into my mind? I often talk with people via e-mail, phone calls, or personal conversations about matters that are very serious. Someone has learned that they have cancer. Someone else is deeply concerned about their financial debt. Still another is wrestling with marriage issues.
At the end of a work day, it is easy to go home and immerse myself in the national news. There are people who spend hours each day watching an endless stream of news.
I have to be very intentional about what I put into my mind. I can’t think about sad and tragic situations all of the time. As a diversion, I might watch a good ball game or other sports event. I might read a biography or watch a sports biography on YouTube. What I think about matters.
4. When do I re-create my body? I typically work out at the gym about four times a week. When I regularly work out it has a positive impact on how I feel. I tend to feel less sluggish and have more energy and motivation, particularly in the afternoons.
5. When do I rest? There are ministers who seem to get their emotional strokes by talking about how hard they work. Some talk on and on about the demands on them and how busy and in demand they are. Not taking time to rest, get away, and recharge will eventually catch up with a person.
6. When do I empty my mind? I have learned much from David Allen’s book, Getting Things Done. There is great value in emptying one’s mind, or doing a “Mind Sweep“. The first time I did this exercise, I thought this would not take long.
I began my list and could not believe all that I wrote down. I put down everything from “Get the tire fixed” to “Call Steve on the way home.” Each time I wrote something down, I seemed to recall one more thing that I had stored in my mind.
If we do not regularly empty our minds, stress is the result. You need a system in place where you can empty your mind and know you will come back to what you have written.
7. Who am I resenting? Unresolved conflict and resentments can be energy drainers! I can spend much energy thinking about a person with whom I am frustrated or angry with. Occasionally I need to ask myself, “How much time do I spend thinking about old resentments or things that long ago should have been forgiven?”
8. Who am I depending on? Am I trying to do my ministry in my own power or in the power of the Spirit? Am I depending on myself or on God? Nothing is more exhausting than to try to do ministry via human power alone. You and I will always be inadequate for the task at hand.
Note: The next “Encouragement Note” will be published on July 1 due to vacation. Also, my time with Harding School of Theology will end on August 30, with the closing of the Memphis campus. I will say more about the future then.
Etcetera (Resources for listening and reading)
Josh Ross has written a very helpful book, Coreology, designed to help believers handle the upcoming elections (the USA national elections) better and more in line with who we are as Christian people. This may be particularly helpful to ministers and other church leaders.
I love this conversation with a dear friend, Dr. Jeff Cary, Dean of the Bible Department at Lubbock Christian University! Jeff also serves as a minister/shepherd of the Idalou Church of Christ in Idalou, Tx. This is an excellent conversation for any minister, church leader, Christ-follower, etc.
I’ve been listening to news anchor John Dickerson’s podcast, Navel Gazing. In each podcast, Dickerson reflects on an entry in his journal and the meaning of it all. Really motivates me to continue journaling.
There are days when I want to remember again some favorite artists of the 1960’s - 1970’s. Just watched Rich Beato reflect on Gordon Lightfoot.
I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee.
Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging — Jim Martin
Thank you Bill!
Thank you Rance!