Jim Martin's Encouragement Note #104
Release your grip & let go . . . Rest while living in the palm of God's hand . . . What if I miss out? . . .10 Truths about ministry (especially for ministers & other church leaders) . . . Etcetera
The List of Five
Release Your Grip and Let Go
I’ve learned to let go of my feeble attempt at perfection. I’ve never been perfect but I sure have tried. This desire for control has taken far too much energy and typically leaves me feeling defeated or prideful.
I’ve learned to let go of clamoring for a perfect day. Instead it is far more helpful to be thankful for each moment given by God.
I’ve learned to let go of the outcome of my ministry. When I first started serving a congregation as a minister, I put way too much pressure on myself for successful outcomes. I wish I had placed far more dependence on God to use me for good.
I’ve learned to let go of so much of my desire to control what others might think of me. For too long, I worried more about how I was being perceived than in simply doing the will of God and seeking only his pleasure.
I’ve learned to let go of what I was not meant to carry. At times, I attempted to carry the weight of my family, the congregation I served, and the problems of the church members. I do believe in God but I need to remember that I am not him. Only he can carry the weight of the world (Mt. 11:28-30).
What about you? Is there something you need to release? What might this be?
Rest While Living in the Palm of God’s Hand
We were in our 20s, living in middle Tennessee, and I was preaching for a little storefront church. My wife, Charlotte, was teaching kindergarten in nearby Minor Hill, Tn.
I was still very new and was a young minister. I recall, at one point, looking up from my desk and saying aloud to no one, “What I am supposed to be doing all day?” I really didn’t know.
Some of us, when we don’t know what to do, simply try to stay busy. After all, I reasoned, if I stayed busy, surely I was doing something right in my ministry. Or, so I thought.
Years later, I read a much needed book, An Unhurried Life by Alan Fadling.
“It takes trust in God’s faithfulness to choose to stop our work” (p. 114).
Can you and I trust God’s faithfulness enough to rest? To stop our work?
I want to trust God enough to know that during the night, God is awake and responsive, even as I sleep. (I love the quote below that Ray Ortlund Jr. posted)
What about you?
Do you need to sleep and give God the worrisome situation with your adult children?
Do you need to sleep and give God your worries over your congregation?
Do you need to sleep and give God your problems, your heartaches, and your sins?
What If I Miss Out?
You may know what it is to be with people much of the day and then at night feel anxious and alone.
Perhaps you look at Instagram or Facebook and see what your friends and acquaintances seem to be doing. Everyone seems to be having fun as they travel to new places and have new experiences. You may feel as if you are missing out.
In the meantime, you get your roof fixed and pay the soccer registration fee so that your ten year old can play on the soccer team. You call the plumber and make a doctor’s appointment.
You may wonder. Am I missing out? Is there something wrong with me? Why can’t my kids experience everything our friends’ kids seem to be experiencing? Why don’t we have the kind of pictures our friends all seem to have on Instagram?
When you feel particularly anxious, stressed, or alone, consider doing the following:
Monitor the anxiety within you. How does stress/anxiety show up in your body? For example, my shoulders tend to become tight and my head begins to hurt.
Consider what you tend to do when you are stressed. Instead of allowing stress to control you, choose to respond to others in a manner that may be counter to the way you actually feel at that moment. In other words, choose to be kind and gracious toward that other person instead of letting raw emotion drive the conversation.
Take care of yourself. I find it helpful to take a few deep breathes when I am feeling stressed. Exercise can also be very, very helpful. Consider what you are grateful for. Focus on your abundance in Christ instead of your scarcity.
Look in the mirror and smile, even when you don’t feel like it. When I am stressed, I may frown and look somber. Of course this may be understandable at times. However, when I choose to smile at my spouse, my children, or my grandchildren, I may actually feel better. Choosing to smile can certainly change the tone of a conversation.
Most of all, know this. You can cast all of your anxieties and worries on the Lord. He really does care for you (I Peter 5:7).
You can experience the overflowing grace of God every day (Psalm 23). The overflowing grace of God is yours.
10 Truths About Ministry (Especially for Ministers, Elders, and Other Church Leaders)
Ministry can be wonderful. It can also be absolutely brutal. Sometimes it can be either with little, if any, advance notice.
When you see something that is good, right, or noble in the life of another, never pass up the opportunity to encourage. Most of us are not over-encouraged and can use a well timed word of encouragement.
Pay attention to the children in your congregation. Some of them are in very difficult environments at home or school.
Be careful about humor. I once said something about a person in front of a group of people (trying to be funny) which just crushed this person. This was so unnecessary.
Develop friends outside your congregation. This helped me greatly.
Use the Sunday morning platform as an opportunity to affirm others in the congregation. It can be a wonderful opportunity to affirm someone.
Your congregation is probably made up of some wonderful, godly people. At the same time, there may be some deeply troubled people. Use wise judgement and discernment in dealing with people.
Pray for those in assemblies who might be guests. Trust that God has been working on their hearts and minds. What a holy moment!
Laugh at yourself. No matter how well you prepare, there will be times when you miscommunicate. You will call a Bible character by the wrong name. You will omit an important detail in a story you are telling. Hold this lightly and laugh at yourself.
Much of ministry is about what you give your attention to. Pray that God will give you the wisdom to pay attention to what matters.
Etcetera
Just listened to a fascinating interview between Cary Nuehoff and Scott Galloway. “Why a Generation of Young Men are Filled with Rage and Shame, the Biggest Threat AI Poses, and an Atheist’s View on Rethinking How to Be the Church”
I listened to a podcast of Russell Moore interviewing John Mark Comer regarding his recent book, Practicing the Way. These two together really make me think.
I enjoyed “5 Relationships Every Leader Needs to Flourish” in the “The Emotionally Healthy Leader Podcast” (Pete Scazzero) This was excellent! (This is a Youtube)
Recently listened to an interesting interview on NPR with Katherine Morgan Schafler. The interview is based on her book, The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power. The interview discusses five different kinds of perfectionism. (This content begins at 8 min and 30 sec into the interview.)
I serve as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tennessee.
Every other Monday morning, I publish this “Encouragement Note.” You can subscribe at jimmartin.substack.com. You can also find me on Facebook - @jim.martin or Instagram - @jimmartin.jm. My e-mail address is: jmartin9669@gmail.com. Feel free to write. I would love to hear what is encouraging — Jim Martin
Good advice, as usual.