The List of Five
I love this quote by Edwin H. Friedman (See his books, especially A Failure of Nerve and Generation to Generation). I will always be grateful that I had the opportunity to spend almost two years in his post-graduate program in Bethesda, Maryland. The following quote might be worth some thought.
While finding out the truth may make people upset, it reduces, I believe, their general level of anxiety. I don’t think being upset has ever hurt anybody. I believe that anxiety kills.
I have been thinking lately about the New Year. James Clear, in his book Atomic Habits, has been particularly helpful. He speaks of habits that are rooted in our identity. In other words, you work to get clear about what kind of person you want to become and then deal with the habits and results that you would like to see in your life so that you move in the direction of this identity. So I have been thinking a lot about the kind of man I want to be the end of 2020.
I wrote this recently:
It was in the middle of the night, about this time of the year. I was a very young guy, not yet married. I was wrestling with what to do next - with my life. I did not know. Inside, I was wrestling with anxiety, worry, and fear about the future. "What am I going to do" was the question that I kept asking. Then one day I heard someone ask this question:
Where will you be when you get where you are going?
In other words, if I keep making the same kind of decisions that I normally do (often with little thought), if I keep the same habits, if I keep the same attitude, where will my life ultimately be?
I knew I had a lot of changes to make. All of these changes would take place slowly (with many false starts and moments of failure). However, my life began to move in a different direction because, by the grace of God, the seemingly small decisions and habits that I made daily began to change.
Where will you be when you get where you you are going?
Where will your life be, if you continue to have the same attitude?
Where will your life be, if you continue to spend money the way you are now?
Where will your life be, if you continue to have the same old habits?
Where will your life be, if you continue that particular friendship?
Where will your life be, if you stay just the way you are while focusing on others and how they need to change?
I find this useful. Perhaps you will as well. This is what I have been thinking about the last few weeks. You might find that this is worth thinking about. Because of this, I am making some adjustments -- some much needed adjustments.
Podcasts I don’t miss (I excluded from this list podcasts from congregations, sermons, etc.) These podcasts, in some way, add value to my life/ministry.
The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast - Carey Niewhof
How I Work - Amantha Imber
The Leader’s Journey Podcast - Jim Herrington and Trisha Taylor
Managing Leadership Anxiety: Yours and Theirs - Steve Cuss
Signposts with Russell Moore - Russell Moore
Undeceptions - John Dickson
Before Breakfast - Laura Vanderkam
Akimbo - Seth Godin
Being a parent may be the hardest thing I have ever done. In many ways, it has been even harder as my children went to college and became adults. Yes, there are moments and seasons of joy. Charlotte and I have certainly experienced these. Yet, there are also times in which it is just hard to know what to do. In light of this, I am very convicted about how important it is that we speak about marriage and parenting in church. There is something important about preaching and occasionally addressing these issues in a life-giving, practical way. Yes, a preacher may feel someone vulnerable as a married person and a parent. Nevertheless, far too much is at stake to allow one’s own insecurities to result in silence about these matters.
I just read “She Was a Star of New York Real Estate but her Life Story Was a Lie in the New York Times, about Faith Hope Cosolo. A sad story about a prominent figure in NYC who never fully revealed the truth about herself, even to those near her. This caused me to reflect on the importance of authenticity. In a culture where there is so much cynicism, our own authenticity can be a powerful witness.
Don’t miss reading Canoeing the Mountains: Christian Leadership in Uncharted Territory by Tod Bolsinger. The book is a significant read for any church leader.
You may know that each Saturday, I post about ten tweets especially for ministers and other church leaders as they anticipate Sunday. You can find me @jimmartin.
Jim Martin serves as Vice President of Harding School of Theology, Memphis, Tn. His e-mail address is: jimmartin@hst.edu. You can find him at God-Hungry.org.